Why so mean?

ivy2409

I've been a lurker on this forum for a while and finally joined a few months ago mainly to post in the 'Avon' section. I regularly read the other sections and try to pick up hints and tips to try and sort out my current situation. But what I’ve found increasing common is certain members who seem to take some kind of perverse joy in being cruel and mean to other forum members, something I experienced myself today when I posted about a problem I had, even though I had taken the time to clearly explain my situation the first two people to respond obviously had not read my post properly and seemed to delight in telling me it was my own fault. Why do they do this? How many more people like myself are there out there who could really do with the advice this forum brings but are simply too scared to post in fear of what the response will be. I know some of those people are going to respond to this but they are just bullies with nothing better to do. I want to thank all the people who do take time to answer others questions and be supportive and to the others, well my mother always said if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all, maybe you could try that.

squack

i know its a sad situation

people on here are so judge mental

sorry to hear of your plight
:money:

Nurseyjo_2

I have noticed exactly the same thing. People have already admitted their failings in their postings, but then are looking for a way to help themselves out of their situation. I cant believe the responses some give. Posters have already realised their problem - please dont rub it in! It is a shame that these boards are not mediated as then people may think twice before being so critical.

I suppose one could argue that they are entitled to their own opinion, but not at the expense of being critical of others. There are ways of putting things across. I put on a thread asking for advice and got a real bashing from a couple of people and it took around 4 responses before anyone said anything constructive.

Like you say, there are a lot of nice and caring people on here offering good advice, sympathy etc. Just remember that the 'trolls', or however people refer to them, are in the minority - and as the saying goes, often - the minority spoil it for the majority.

LemonGrove

Something I've noticed about this section, is that 'Praise' topics will often be overlooked and not even replied to, where as 'Vent' topics will receive lots of responses of people simply attempting to put the OP 'in their place' and showing how they are wrong by posting it. It isn't right, that's for sure.

gordikin

This isn't a Board for 'Please Agree With Me'! God forbid that that ever happens on MSE! We need balance..and agreeing with every post aint that!

Oopsadaisy

Ooh stop whinging.......err, hang on ......sorry.

Nurseyjo_2

gordikin wrote: »

This isn't a Board for 'Please Agree With Me'! God forbid that that ever happens on MSE! We need balance..and agreeing with every post aint that!

I wasnt saying that Gordikin, and you were one of those I was referring to who had been helpful, but others are very personal and I believe that is what Ivy was meaning. Some posters are actually very rude in the comments that they make.

No one wants this to be a 'please agree with me' but then neither do people want this to be a 'I've made a foolish error so please pick on me and tell me in no uncertain terms what an idiot I have been and then offer nothing constructive' forum.

I can see why people wouldnt want to post and that does go against the philosophy of the site. As I said, I dont count you as one of the minority

StrawberryYogurt

Well as a "newbie" I have seen the opposite! I have seen people spend their time typing reply after reply helping people. Taking time out of their day to help someone whom without the advice they are given would be totally lost.

Okay so sometimes the advice may come across as "blunt" or "abrupt" but its never meant that way, most are just trying to get to you the information you need with no sugar coating...a lot of situations call for that.

Yes sometimes people do disagree with things on the informal chat boards...by you having an opinion you allow someone to have a different one and to question yours...but I rarely see it as personal.

I know this sounds cheesy as hell..lol but this site has changed my life! But then I am pretty thick skinned and a lot goes over head....hence my debts! LOL

x

ERJ

Completely agree. People don't need to be so rude or mean. Some of us just want a chat and some advice, not some !!!! Who has a sad life making !!!!!! comments. I get enough !!!! At work!

pitkin2020

Its a forum and everyone views a situation in their own way so there will always be differences of opinions, some people will sugar coat it and some will be plain blunt. There is no point in working yourself up over it, just take it with a pinch of salt.

gordikin

Nurseyjo wrote: »

I wasnt saying that Gordikin, and you were one of those I was referring to who had been helpful, but others are very personal and I believe that is what Ivy was meaning. Some posters are actually very rude in the comments that they make.

No one wants this to be a 'please agree with me' but then neither do people want this to be a 'I've made a foolish error so please pick on me and tell me in no uncertain terms what an idiot I have been and then offer nothing constructive' forum.

I can see why people wouldnt want to post and that does go against the philosophy of the site. As I said, I dont count you as one of the minority

Hey you may think I have been helpful...others have labelled me a troll...that's the way of things on MSE!