Wedding list: They have asked for money

ClareEmily

I think the invite comes across as very rude (the kids bit), and maybe they should have checked it with a few people before sending.

I see no issue with not inviting kids or asking for money btw.

I got married in 2007 and invited children, even had a bouncy castle and goodie bags to keep the little darlings entertained. I have no children myself.

In my vid, when we are saying vows a little chap is yelling hello mummy, then you see mum clamping her hand over his mouth and carrying him out, I didn't even notice at the time, and it made me laugh watching it back. I was more worried about drunk adults than noisy children.

We never enclosed a gift request at all with our invites, we just put the word out to our parents that we would love Canadian dollars for spending money (honeymoon), and this worked really well, as all the relatives asked them.

red_devil

ive heard lots of moans about weddings the latest one was that a couple decided to marry in a fancy place at the other end of the country and the guests had all the petrol to travel down there!

They didnt want to marry locally!

ninky_2

talulahbeige wrote: »

If it's not my and my OH's day then who's is it?
Its about us committing to each other not to a group of freinds and their children. We're paying for it and we chose to invite the people we wanted there. The people who we wanted to help support us in our coming life together.

No it's not about image and backdrops for photos, its about not starting married life saddled with debt.
Were not having expensive flower displays or meals with expensive wines. I'm not having bridesmaids or expensive hen weekends.
I'm also sure 14 under 3's that will be there won't remember being there and won't be that much support just yet!

but then why have anyone else there at all? of course you can do whatever you chose on your wedding. but as with many choices (how you spend your money, what you do with your spare time, who you have as friends etc) i think that choice says a lot about the person making it. truth is, even if you invite people's kids, many would choose not to bring them anyway. i don't think it needs to cost 1k etc to invite children to your wedding. my wedding cost less than 500 quid. some friends put together a buffet for cost, husband.s work donated the venue, mum made the cake, i made the flower arrangements, parents donated some bottles of bubbles, friend DJ'd and any extra drinks were a pay bar. why does it have to cost a fortune? weddings have been going on for centuries amongst all classes and income brackets. community spirit and a sense of occassion seems to have been lost to marketting and a multi-milllion pound wedding industry.

Katie-Kat-Kins

elastigirl wrote: »

We have been invited to a wedding and i was a little surprised at how they worded some of it,
I don't have a problem with their wishes but it's how they have said it, Maybe it is just me but i have found it a bit rude.

They have a no children rule this is fine as we only take our son to them if they are family weddings and this is a friends. But they wrote on the invite

''Over the last few years it was your choice and decision to go off and have lots of children but it wasn't ours however it is our choice and decision not to have them at our wedding, so leave them with the grandparents.

The gift list inclosed was a card that said no actual gifts as we have everything we need. please give us money to pay for the honeymoon.
Then there is details of a company where we either send a cheque or ring and give our credit/debit card details so that the money directly pays off the honeymoon.

I am a little un easy about giving money as i guess it isn't the normal thing to do and we aren't used to it. I would feel cheap giving them £20-£30 in cash wheres a gift can look alot more. i don't know how much to give as they are really only a work friend, i would prefer to give a gift really.

WOW They are RUDE RUDE RUDE!!!! Why are they your friends again????


I don't have too much of a problem with weddings with a no children rule, and although I don't like it I can accept requests for money BUT they could have at least put it nicely!

Go along, enjoy the food and entertainment at their expense and buy (or better still recycle) them a really nasty pair of his n hers sherry glasses engraved with something twee (or something else tacky and obviously weddingy)as a gift as revenge, you can have fun imagining them writing the thank you card when they hate the gift!

We allowed children at our wedding as there were only two, and both were close. If we had lots of friends with little ones we may have considered not asking the children but we wouldn't have put it like that! We had a proper gift list, it seems that is what most guests prefer and despite the fact that we had lived together for a couple fo years by the date of the wedding there were lots of things we wanted, like matching sets of things instead of mix n match cheap stuff we'd acquired over the years.

I received an invitation with a poem requesting cheques (it actually said please make cheques out to ........... at the bottom! Urgh) but I bought them a gift of my choice, you don't have to do what they say, and I don't like giving cash, especially not they way this one was worded. The only time I have given cash was at a sikh wedding where it is the tradition to put money in at a particular point in the festivities and at another wedding where the invitation nicely pointed out that the couple had most things they needed already as they had been together many years and what they would really like was some contributions for a fab honeymoon that they would take later in the year they had a gift list too for those that preferred it.

red_devil

ninky wrote: »

but then why have anyone else there at all? of course you can do whatever you chose on your wedding. but as with many choices (how you spend your money, what you do with your spare time, who you have as friends etc) i think that choice says a lot about the person making it. truth is, even if you invite people's kids, many would choose not to bring them anyway. i don't think it needs to cost 1k etc to invite children to your wedding. my wedding cost less than 500 quid. some friends put together a buffet for cost, husband.s work donated the venue, mum made the cake, i made the flower arrangements, parents donated some bottles of bubbles, friend DJ'd and any extra drinks were a pay bar. why does it have to cost a fortune? weddings have been going on for centuries amongst all classes and income brackets. community spirit and a sense of occassion seems to have been lost to marketting and a multi-milllion pound wedding industry.

nail on head. If i wanted to get wed i think we agree we would go off and do it without a big do! As long as we were there and maybe just a close relative what would it matter!
its about the couple not everyone else.

How many people had people to their wedding they dont even see anymore or just have relatives for the sake of it!

euronorris

ninky wrote: »

but then why have anyone else there at all? of course you can do whatever you chose on your wedding. but as with many choices (how you spend your money, what you do with your spare time, who you have as friends etc) i think that choice says a lot about the person making it. truth is, even if you invite people's kids, many would choose not to bring them anyway. i don't think it needs to cost 1k etc to invite children to your wedding. my wedding cost less than 500 quid. some friends put together a buffet for cost, husband.s work donated the venue, mum made the cake, i made the flower arrangements, parents donated some bottles of bubbles, friend DJ'd and any extra drinks were a pay bar. why does it have to cost a fortune? weddings have been going on for centuries amongst all classes and income brackets. community spirit and a sense of occassion seems to have been lost to marketting and a multi-milllion pound wedding industry.

They don't have to be expensive, but it's down to personal choice.

You chose to do things very cheaply (in terms of the average wedding cost these days - which is scarily high by the way!), so that you could ensure plenty of friends and family were there.

Some will choose the opposite, but I think most try to find a balance somewhere inbetween.

Of course, it depends on your budget to begin with. But once you've decided on a sit down meal and made the initial booking and deposit, then you're committed to it (unless you want to lose the deposit) and so, adding more guests on does become very expensive.

And you know, some people like buffets and others would prefer a sit down meal. Personally, I'd rather have a McDonald's, but then I do have an obsession with McDonald's! lol Or chips, ohhh with salt & vnegar, I miss vinegar...and chips. Not sure I would actually serve that at my wedding though! lol

I think I would prefer buffet style as I'm quite a fussy eater, and I don't like 'posh' food. Much prefer sausage rolls. Mmmmm....

Oh Ninky, you have me craving English food with just the mention of 'buffet'! Good job I'm heading to UK tomorrow evening!

S1976

euronorris wrote: »

Personally, I'd rather have a McDonald's, but then I do have an obsession with McDonald's!

Now that's my cup of tea! :beer:

Mely

Op...i have never ever heard of such an extremely rude wedding invitation! I wouldnt be going to the wedding,let alone sending money for their honeymoon - unbelieveable!

talulahbeige_2

ninky wrote: »

but then why have anyone else there at all? of course you can do whatever you chose on your wedding. but as with many choices (how you spend your money, what you do with your spare time, who you have as friends etc) i think that choice says a lot about the person making it. truth is, even if you invite people's kids, many would choose not to bring them anyway. i don't think it needs to cost 1k etc to invite children to your wedding. my wedding cost less than 500 quid. some friends put together a buffet for cost, husband.s work donated the venue, mum made the cake, i made the flower arrangements, parents donated some bottles of bubbles, friend DJ'd and any extra drinks were a pay bar. why does it have to cost a fortune? weddings have been going on for centuries amongst all classes and income brackets. community spirit and a sense of occassion seems to have been lost to marketting and a multi-milllion pound wedding industry.

Becasue we want to share the day with people we are close to whilst we make that commitment. Before anyone says arent you close to the kids, not really, I see them once in a while and as they are all so young they don't remember much.

Interesting that you think that about how much my venue costs! We chose a venue that fitted what we wanted. Are you suggesting we put on a different meal for the children that is lower quality than the parents meal?
I wouldnt dream of asking friends to contrinute like that, i think its rude (just as some think asking for money is rude) I want my guests to be able to relax and not have to worry about the quiche burning! I've been on the other end of "donating time" at a friends wedding and it's not all it's cracked up to be. I'm also glad your parents could afford to contribute bottles of bubbly, ours can't! we're paying for it all ourselves.

red_devil

we went to a wedding reception once the buffet food was poor quality and we were hungry and had to stop off on the way home for food. You shouldnt have to do that at a wedding reception. I guess its all they could afford though.

Good food makes an event it dosent matter whether its a buffet or not but the food should be nice and quality not cheap and nasty.