Wedding list: They have asked for money

wifeforlife

euronorris wrote: »

Seriously, I would like to understand why people are so opposed to it.

Jelousy, it's the I can't have one so why should they mentality.

People don't realise this is not a normal family holiday, it's a honeymoon, I also have noted the people who are against this idea are the people who are already married and have had honeymoons - regardless of when they got them.

I know that as a mum already, when I get married I would appreciate a honeymoon but may not happen as we have our kids. This couple in question clearly don't have kids yet, so the honeymoon is traditionally the final break before impending parenthood.

It's great to see such a diverse range of comments and opinions!

talulahbeige_2

lilac-straw wrote: »

I must be in a minority here but I thought weddings were about couples making a public declaration of their love and commitment to each other and not about the presents or money that people are going to bring them. If people want to give presents and money then thats great but why do people assume that they have a right to these things. I thinks it is rude for people to ask for gifts, never mind money! People used to give gifts for the house years ago because it helped the couple set up a home. It doesn't follow that because you have everything you need that you can have the cash instead!! If you have everything you need then you should say NO GIFTS NECESSARY or ask for a donation to charity or something similar. If I couldn't afford the honeymoon I wanted then I would cut down on some aspects of the wedding.

I agree with this entirely.
We will have a gift list as people often ask but it won't be shoved in anyones face.
We already live together and have everything we need (and no space for anythign else!) so we're seeing it as a chance to upgrade things that are old or were cheap when we initially had to buy lots of things when we first moved in. Eg quality built to last cutlery rather than £10 for 12 place settings, or a new modern sandwich toaster rather than one that is falling to bits

S1976

talulahbeige wrote: »

I bet your fun down the pub!

Can't remember the last time I went to the pub - full of boring adults getting !!!!ed and spilling their booze everytime they walk - much rather go the the theatre or the pictures and yep with the kids lol

lilac-straw

talulahbeige wrote: »

I agree with this entirely.
We will have a gift list as people often ask but it won't be shoved in anyones face.
We already live together and have everything we need (and no space for anythign else!) so we're seeing it as a chance to upgrade things that are old or were cheap when we initially had to buy lots of things when we first moved in. Eg quality built to last cutlery rather than £10 for 12 place settings, or a new modern sandwich toaster rather than one that is falling to bits

Excellent idea. :T.

euronorris

cathy2702 wrote: »

It's great to see such a diverse range of comments and opinions!

And there's the problem. You simply cannot please everyone!

No matter what you chose to do for your wedding et al, someone will always have a problem with a part of it. No kids, asking for cash instead of gifts, wedding location, other guests, food, alcohol etc etc the list goes on and on!

Having moved country, I often wonder about whether I would like to marry here now, or back in the UK. If back in the UK, what part? Kent, my home, or Somerset, OH's home? And who wouldn't come if the travel and associated expense was too high? I mean, a couple of friends got p'ssed at me in November because I decided to stay here for my Birthday. I couldn't afford the flights, I'd only just returned from a trip to the UK for my Grandma's funeral and then I was called 'selfish'.

wifeforlife

S1976 wrote: »

I would never go to a wedding where my children are not invited, they are my family. If the couple do not want children at their wedding then invite everyone who doesn't have children, there wouldnt be many at the wedding. It's supposed to be a celebration, and for me seeing a room full of adults is nothing more than a boring social event, not a celebration.

The important words here are highlighted, for you! Obviously this couple have no children and have no desire to have other peoples children at their wedding, and that is what is important to them

On another note - and not directed at this poster, but since when have children become the be all and end all, dictating which events we can and can't go to?!?!

kr15snw

I LOVE kids but other than my 2 neices (who will be nearly 6 and 3) there will be no kids at the wedding. Also wont be any of my cousins, mainly because we simply cannot fit them in!

The ceremony room holds 60 people and with me having 15 direct family (brothers and their families), him having 10 direct family and me having 15 aunts and uncles we have had to cut back majorly!

We've decided to invite all direct family (grandparents, brothers, sisters, neices), aunts and uncles and about 15 friends (including best men and bridesmaids). This makes 60 ish people! If we were to invite my cousins and all the above mentioned kids we would be up to over 120 easily

But we've spoken to everyone with kids and they all understand we simply can't fit them in. But all are welcome in the evening and we would love the disco to be full of kids, so our DJ is planning kids games and everything for the first hour. Which again people have said sounds a great idea

We will also be saying that we don't want gifts as we have everything we need (will have lived together 4 years by the time the wedding comes around) and we just want their company. BUT my mum / his mum / bridesmaid know to suggest money if anyone seriously bugs about it

S1976

cathy2702 wrote: »

The important words here are highlighted, for you! Obviously this couple have no children and have no desire to have other peoples children at their wedding, and that is what is important to them

On another note - and not directed at this poster, but since when have children become the be all and end all, dictating which events we can and can't go to?!?!

Indeed, and that is their choice, don't get me wrong it is their day after all, all I'm saying is for me (as you highlighted) I would poiltly refuse to go and wish them all the luck for the future. And I know the second comment wasn't aimed at me, but again for me, my children do not dictate what I do, it just so happens I enjoy similar things they do again it's simply a personal choice. Works for me, might not work for others.

trickytrolleys

havent read all of the replies so this may have been covered but I think the reason this thoroughly pleasant couple have insisted on kids is due to the gift they have asked for, why waste money paying for a meal for a child that isnt going to contribute to your honeymoon, max out on adults and therefore max out on money.

I wouldnt be going to their wedding but I would be inclined to say I was and then just not turn up so they couldnt fill my place with another donor to the honeymoon fund

euronorris

kr15snw, your wedding sounds like it is going to be great! You seem to have struck a good balance. I hope you and your OH have a fantastic day!