Husband in debt

charlea

maybe not right but what the hell, he hasnt been that truthfull with you -but if you know the credit card number ( just take his credit card out of his wallet make sure you get the exp /valid from date and the 3 digit number on the back
then just go on line and register to get online banking depending on what credit card its is some are really easy to set up ie mbna and lloyds are a piece of cake but alliance and leicester is more difficult to do to

he obviously dont want you to see something on his statements so that would make me even more determined to see it

if he is already on line banking then if he is like a lot of people he saves his passwords ect on the pc so that you can log in without having to use the passwords

I thinks its probably time to get a bit dirty and sneaky for your own sake and self preservation

I had no problems in doing this to check what my other half was spending i even check his mobile phone bills but im not about to be brought down by anybody

hulagirl79 wrote: »

He is still trying to say my car and other things for the house. My car is £1000. which still leaves 19000 on credit card.
I have thought of plasma tv, flight to california for him, play station 3, green house, stuff for his car, meals out for him, weekend away with boys etc i could go on as these were bought over time i assumed it was being paid for not put on credit.
I agree that there must be more stuff but thats all i can see.
The other thing is he goes to tesco at least 4 times a week and spends about £20-£30 per time [ food and drink, very few things for me] that all soon adds up.
I cant see the c/c statments as he is keeping them all at work not at home.[ yes i know that is odd i have had this decussion with him.

floss2

hulagirl79 wrote: »

....it is his problem he didnt want my help so he can sort it out...

Can I confirm that all the debts are in his name only? And not in joint names?

hulagirl79 wrote: »

...The only issue i have now is he does not think a 50/50 split is fair as he has always paid more into the house [he earns over £1000 more per month than me and put the deposit down as well £10,000] he thought 70/30 was fair.....

Do you think he wants the 70% to pay off his debts? He is probably entitled to the £10k out, and then an equity split of 50/50, but I would take that as a starting point - I am not a legal advisor!

paddy's_mum

I've thought almost from the beginning that there is some infidelity skulking about somewhere. He ought to be distraught and afraid that his world is collapsing Why isn't he? He's too calm by half.

I also think the in-laws need their backsides kicked since I would find it hard to believe that they don't know he is irresponsible with money. Given that he's on a good salary and has no dependents, didn't they want to know exactly why he needed to borrow such a large amount of money?

Didn't they want to know what you felt about it or were you only going to find out about it if it got mentioned in passing in conversation one day? I think they have been disloyal to you and certainly not using common sense. One could almost hope that he defaults and they get their fingers burned!

You need good legal advice and although I'm reluctant to advocate sneaking about, perhaps some more intelligence of the type suggested by charlea in an earlier post. Don't be too quick to move out of the house either. At least if you are still living there you can keep half an eye on things to prevent him attempting to hoodwink you. Godd luck.

charlea

another thing you could ( while probably not totally legal but as this point i would not really care) is to go on line and apply for his credit record in his name (just open up a different email address) this will give you much clearer idea of just how much in debt he is

Look at it this way If he has lied to you about money then what else has he lied to you about .
Use one like call credit its all done on line and you need his date of birth full name and address which unless he has lied to you about that as well :Dyou will be sure it correct
its called protecting you !!! your home and the rest of your life
there is no need to be nice while he is or has been playing dirty you have been more than reasonable by the sound of your posts, personally i would have strung him up by his ........ but thats just me
Dont let him bully you out of the house its as much your home as it is his and you have every right to be living in the house so dont leave at least while you are there you can ensure that the mortgage is being paid ect and there are no nasty surprises afterwards

if you have to save your money somewhere just do online banking and leave the card /paying books at work

floss2

charlea wrote: »

another thing you could ( while probably not totally legal but as this point i would not really care) is to go on line and apply for his credit record in his name (just open up a different email address) this will give you much clearer idea of just how much in debt he is
...

That may not give you any actual figures.

charlea

yes but it would let her know if he has taken out additional lending - for all the op knows he could have taken out half a dozen store cards and several bank loans and remortaged the house and faked her signature and the only time she would know about it is when he defaults on the payments and the baliffs are knocking at the door

If he is that devious he could done all this online and she may not even know about it if he dose it all online -ok it might be extreme but as he has lied and is being evasive about stuff and as he dosnt want her to see his bank statements he is definalty hiding something ( just wonder what it is )

i would still check his credit rating and check her own at the same time
so that she is sure that

floss2 wrote: »

That may not give you any actual figures.

hulagirl79

Wow thanks everone
Well i met the solictor today, gave him all the figures i could he said a 50/50 is not only resonable but what would most likey happen. He told me to tell him i have taken advice and say the only way to go is 50/50 but be prepared just incase it ends up 60/40[but not tell him that] I am also entitled to one of his two pensions [which i dont want but am prepared to use it to get my 50/50]
As for him taking out credit without me knowing i am not aware of any and he def has not put anything against the house as we have just received the mortgage statement through and it all is fine.
All the debt is in his name nothing in mine at all [the only things that are is joint account and mortgage]
I might check his credit record to see if anything shows up.
I still have not sorted out about where to put my savings.
My mum has all my paper work[payslip, bank statments etc]
He does online banking and guards his lap top with his life, he works in computers so know's alot about them and how to hide things better than i do.
As for the affair thing i thought something was going on before christmas but i can be a little paranoid, but i have no evidence and his behaviour does point that way.
I am not leaving the house, as i have just as much right to be here and it was the advice of solictor so i am staying put whether he likes it or not.

I have contacted my bank to let them know and am keeping a very close eye on our joint account.
I will speak to him on sunday about getting the estate agents round and house put on the market.
If there is anything you think i have missed feel free to let me know.

choille

I'd get your joint bank account frozen - I think he can empty it - Possibly?

hulagirl79

I cant get it frozen as all the bills and mortgage come out of it.
i will give them a call to see if they can contact me if any withdrawls come out that are not the usual ones, at least if the know all that then its a bit of comeback if he does do something.

ninky_2

not being funny but it might be worth getting a copy of your credit report too. you say he hides his credit card statements at work. are you sure he hasn't taken a credit card out in your name?

best of luck with it. it definitely sounds like you are best off out of it.