Husband in debt

savingmummy

Sorry to hear this!
Sounds like he wasn`t ready to be debtfree, i think there may be more to this debt!!.
I can`t believe he let you go so easily....more fool him!
Your supportive and appear really kind and loyal, he didn`t deserve you x

curlygirl1971

Am sorry to hear that you are in this predicament but admire you and your principles and determination. Sounds like he was going to drag you down at some point. Just hope that things can be sorted so that you are not lumbered with any of his debt? Sort out things like the joint account (if you have one) pronto. Perhaps get it frozen? Look after your own interests as top priority - he's going to do exactly the same

Very best of luck to you

Spirit_2

This has spiralled horribly in such a short space of time. I read it that he had not yet had his "lightbulb moment" despite some pretty serious shots across the bows.

Are you sure that you have concluded that the way he is dealing with the debt is a deal breaker? When I had my LBM Mr Spirit was probably a year behind. Annoying but not destructive, and not a cause to end our marriage. He gets it now and we will be debt free soon.

Are the debts symptomatic of something else.. or do you need to pause for thought. It sounds as if with your mum's illness and your f-i-l ill health you and you have had cause to be feeling rather low.

My very best wishes
Spirit

hulagirl79

Thanks for your replys.
It is not so much the debt that bothers me [it doesworry me] but it is his attitude towards it and towards me. He does not understnad why i am that worked up about it.
Yes we have lots going on with family stuff but this is more important at the moment.
He said yesterday that he wanted till thursday to think things through before we decide what to do and he has just said tonight that he is going out thursday eve, so we will have to have the talk on friday unless i want it to be on thursday.
So it not that important to him as pool is.
That is not a nice feeling.

thorsoak

At least you can see where his priorities lie

Angelic

I hope I don't sound too cynical but he has borrowed money from his sister , father and taken loans out yet claims it is for Tesco and cars?
It still doesn't add up to me unless he is addicted to shopping and hiding the goods he has bought.
Walking away from a marriage is a big step and not one that should be taken lightly but at the moment he is acting like a silly , single teenager instead of a responsible adult.
To say he will talk about it in three days time shows a lack of respect for you. I think you need to take some form of action as it's obvious that each time you talk to him he isn't listening.

choille

Sounds like he has a 'habit'.

BitterAndTwisted

I dunno, I get the feeling that he's up to something and that's why he's avoiding having this talk on Thursday. Do you actually know how much he's borrowed from family on top of the other debts?

hulagirl79

He has told me he has borrowed £5000 from his stepmum and £1000 from his sister.
To be honest him moving the day we sit down to friday is fine with me as i am going to see a solictor on friday am so at least when i sit down with him i will have an idea of what the next step is.
I dont want to walk away from my marraige but he has not tried to fight for me or said any of things i would of said if i were in the same position and i am worth more than that.
As for where the money has gone, i dont care now it is his problem he didnt want my help so he can sort it out.
I do feel absolutly gutted that he does not seem bothered about me goingbut maybe he still does not not belive i am going, if that is the case he is in for a shock when we do sit down on friday.

Thanks
xx

minimoneysaver

Hulagirl, please make sure that copies of payslips, statements etc are kept at your mum's house or similar. They ended up saving me from a horrid mess when I split with my ex. Also, it's amazing how much money you can fit in a sock! Good luck to you. x