xmas pressie - am still peed off

3_cheeky_princesses

I am sorry but i dont believe if you leave your husband you are not entitled to any benefits whilst you get yourself back on your feet
Have you actually been to social security/job centre or CAB and found out what you will be entitled to etc. Or you could always get a job to get money

I am sorry your in a unhappy relationship but you chose to go back for money after 3 months away from him :rolleyes: You hear about woman who are unable to leave because of mental and physical abuse but this does not seem to be the case here. You were able to leave. You said yourself you stayed at a friends where he did not know where you was but because of money you went back. To me that is just convience and you cant be scared of him you would not of gone back once you had left and was safe. You both just sound unhappy and resentful of eachother and you probably are horrible to eachother behind close doors because of this.

If you really are miserable and want to leave then go to CAB who will advise you on how to find accomodation and what benefits your entitled to and will even help you fill out all the social security forms. But i get the feeling you know you will have little money so it is worth you staying with your husband who seems to be financially comfortable as you sound quite materialistic. You cant seem to see past the fake pearls!

Emmzi

can't believe all the whingeing about the present!

a) tell him you are not happy and see what he says
b) leave, with aid of support agencies if required
c) shut up and put up

Your choice.

Pollycat

tandraig wrote: »

oh sorry stef - you asked if finances were a factor. hun, he has thousands in his CURRENT account!

Off topic, but maybe you should point him in the direction of this website, specifically the Savings and Investments section to check if that really is the best place for his money.

patchwork_cat

shandypants5 wrote: »

So lets simplify...

You dont like him.
You have left him (maybe more than once).
You think he is a !!!!!!.
You only pretend to enjoy sex with him.
You only went back to him as you had "no money of your own".
You EXPECT expensive gifts, or you sulk for weeks.

I cant afford to buy pearls for my wife.
In fact this year(out of necessity) we both agreed to save every penny, dont spend anything on each other, but spend a little more on the kids.

But you know what.

I would rather have what we have, then what you have, anyday.;)

What a totally unnecessary comment at the end. The OP is unhappy in her current situation and you appear jealous ! You say I would rather have what we have - well I think the OP would too, talk about being callous.

The Op has not said they want expensive gifts - she wants thoughtful gifts.

This is a typical marriage board thread - crikey you lot are unpleasant - this board is about help and support and all you lot do is attack.

shandypants5

patchwork_cat wrote: »

What a totally unnecessary comment at the end. The OP is unhappy in her current situation and you appear jealous ! You say I would rather have what we have - well I think the OP would too, talk about being callous.

The Op has not said they want expensive gifts - she wants thoughtful gifts.

This is a typical marriage board thread - crikey you lot are unpleasant - this board is about help and support and all you lot do is attack.

The OP came on here asking for Opinions.
Thats mine and your welcome to it.

The OP says she want REAL pearls, thoughtful fake ones wont doo.

patchwork_cat

No you did not offer a constructive opinion - the OP doesn't think that her partner did give her thoughtful fakes - that is the whole point of the thread! If the OP did not think that any thought went into the present then as far as we comment it didn't.

Pollycat

This thread seems to have evolved from the original issue about the Christmas gift to serious problems within the OP's marriage.

I'd have advised the OP to TACTFULLY tell her OH that she didn't like the fake pearls, rather than

tell him i HATED his christmas pressie

But there's obviously much more deep-seated feelings going on and I think the OP should really really sit down and consider whether this life she has with her OH is preferable to living with her mother or maybe even getting her own place.

I don't know the OP's circumstances but maybe she doesn't work but could get a job.
And maybe if she got divorced, there would be money from that.

I think if I were so patently unhappy as the OP comes across, I'd want to do something about it.

Tandraig, good luck with whatever you do.
I can't see your OH changing as from what you've posted he seems duplicious by showing a different face to other people than he shows to you.

shandypants5

patchwork_cat wrote: »

No you did not offer a constructive opinion - the OP doesn't think that her partner did give her thoughtful fakes - that is the whole point of the thread! If the OP did not think that any thought went into the present then as far as we comment it didn't.

Ok, I am sorry if I appear callous or blunt but here is my constructive opinion.

The OP came on here complaining about a "Gift" she recieved.

The OP appears not to like her husband much.
She appears to think he does not like her much (or is bad at showing it if he does.)

I think the OP should re-think exactly what SHE brings to the relationship, and see if it ballances with what she wants or needs from her husband.

A marriage is about MUCH more than a lousy xmas present and it sounds (to me) like this marriage is built on possessions.
If a ballance she likes can not be found, then I think she should leave and stop making excuses about finances holding her there.

3_cheeky_princesses

patchwork_cat wrote: »

No you did not offer a constructive opinion - the OP doesn't think that her partner did give her thoughtful fakes - that is the whole point of the thread! If the OP did not think that any thought went into the present then as far as we comment it didn't.

I am, sorry but a thoughtful gift! She left him for 3 months and only went back to him for money Then she expects to be brought a "thoughtful" expensive gifts after declaring she doesnt even want to be with him or love him Am i missing something here :rolleyes:

Isnt it more helpful to the OP to suggest ways she can get help for the bigger issues here from various agencies like i have above such as CAB and social security/ job centre etc...

viktory

So your husband knows you are only with him because you can't afford not to be with him (are you working?). Then you complain about your Christmas present! I am not in the least bit surprised by your gift. Stand up for yourself, get a job, rent somewhere to live and start divorce proceedings as it sounds like neither of you are happy.