xmas pressie - am still peed off

creased-leach

Perhaps the pearls being fake was symbolic.

Mme.Hibou

JBD wrote: »

Personally I would not be happy with pans for a christmas present. This is household equipment and presents should be personal.

I once asked an ex boyfriend to get me some oven gloves and an apron for Christmas one year, he did and I still use them now.

We got a Le Creuset frying pan this year from my mum, that I chose myself. I was a happy bunny.

I realise this doesn't help the fake pearls situation, I'm not sure what to say about that.

newcook

Dormouse wrote: »

One of my Christmas presents was a slow cooker, and I was very pleased with that. I did ask for it.

I did get other, more personal, presents, though.

And OMG, Le Creuset cost a fortune, so it's not to be sniffed at, I'd say.

same here dormouse - and i have to say my sc has been the best present I have ever had!!! it has certainly had more homemade meals ready for me when I get in from work than my ex ever did!!!!

newcook

tandraig wrote: »

right for those of you who think social services mean nothing to getting out of a relationship. I left my husband - and three months later - could still get nothing to live on. because i went out of area! didnt go to womens refuge. I should have I realise now. but i went to a friends where he couldnt find me. I came back - went to my daughters in a different county, but they insisted on interviewing me at home! and my OH was present!!! and - to top it off - turned me down! so what else could i do? no money, living off friends or daughter, sleeping on sofas. and no money of my own!! had to go back to him! since then the man has been a !!!!!! to me. nice as pie in front of everyone - in private totally uncaring! unless he fancies a bit - then its how much he loves me.......he thinks i am thick!!!!
we did manage a nice holiday in cornwall this year - no major arguments! it was fun and nice. wish our home life was like that! but, he knew then how much i like pearls (real ones as he was the one to suggest I had a go to find a pearl!) .
To the posters who think his money is keeping me here - the alternative is living with my mother - and i would rather shoot myself. she loves him to bits and thinks he is hard done by. he is very charming to her. my kids are sympathetic but cant help with money or even somewhere to stay. yes, there are issues, but, I still cant help feeling - he knew the pearls were fake (they had a label, simulated pearls?) sort of a clue) and he also knew I would probably know - as I saw them in local cash and carry - for, as i said, £7.99. including the box!

so there you have it - go to a womens refuge and file for divorce and ask for half of what is his!!

from what it sounds you both dont want to really be together! it has nothing to do with what family or friends think of or how much they like him etc so leave and put in the divorce petition, get a part time (or a full time) job and get your own place. it is really easier than what it sounds and a hell of a lot less scary than what you may think!

coolcait

newcook wrote: »

so there you have it - go to a womens refuge and file for divorce and ask for half of what is his!!

from what it sounds you both dont want to really be together! it has nothing to do with what family or friends think of or how much they like him etc so leave and put in the divorce petition, get a part time (or a full time) job and get your own place. it is really easier than what it sounds and a hell of a lot less scary than what you may think!

I agree.

The issue here appears to be the relationship rather than the pearls.

I love real pearls too (and real gold, emeralds, diamonds, sapphires, rubies, amethysts etc).

The man I love is aware of this, but we are both aware that finances don't allow him to indulge me with the 'real' thing.

Yet, when he gives me an item of jewellry which isn't 'real', but which echoes something I love - whether it's the jewel or the shape - I don't get indignant and post 'peed off' threads.

I recognise that he bought me 'pearls', 'gold', 'emeralds' etc, even if they're 'fake'. To me, the emotion behind the gift isn't 'fake'. It's a recognition of the things I love, expressed in a way that he can afford.

But our relationship - with all its problems - seems to be very different from yours. Which brings us back to the fact that the issue here appears to be the relationship rather than the pearls.

patchwork_cat

Are you sure you mean social services? Do you mean social security? You are in Wales aren't you, but my advice stands regardless of the any differences in the law to England - before you do anything else if you want a divorce quietly see a solicitor and get some advice about your rights, before you do anything else. If this is what every divorcing couple had to do no one would divorce.

Is your husband violent to you?

There are alsorts of rights to assests etc. and lots of divorce forums etc.

shandypants5

tandraig wrote: »

right for those of you who think social services mean nothing to getting out of a relationship. I left my husband - and three months later - could still get nothing to live on. because i went out of area! didnt go to womens refuge. I should have I realise now. but i went to a friends where he couldnt find me. I came back - went to my daughters in a different county, but they insisted on interviewing me at home! and my OH was present!!! and - to top it off - turned me down! so what else could i do? no money, living off friends or daughter, sleeping on sofas. and no money of my own!! had to go back to him! since then the man has been a !!!!!! to me. nice as pie in front of everyone - in private totally uncaring! unless he fancies a bit - then its how much he loves me.......he thinks i am thick!!!!
we did manage a nice holiday in cornwall this year - no major arguments! it was fun and nice. wish our home life was like that! but, he knew then how much i like pearls (real ones as he was the one to suggest I had a go to find a pearl!) .
To the posters who think his money is keeping me here - the alternative is living with my mother - and i would rather shoot myself. she loves him to bits and thinks he is hard done by. he is very charming to her. my kids are sympathetic but cant help with money or even somewhere to stay. yes, there are issues, but, I still cant help feeling - he knew the pearls were fake (they had a label, simulated pearls?) sort of a clue) and he also knew I would probably know - as I saw them in local cash and carry - for, as i said, £7.99. including the box!

So lets simplify...

You dont like him.
You have left him (maybe more than once).
You think he is a !!!!!!.
You only pretend to enjoy sex with him.
You only went back to him as you had "no money of your own".
You EXPECT expensive gifts, or you sulk for weeks.

I cant afford to buy pearls for my wife.
In fact this year(out of necessity) we both agreed to save every penny, dont spend anything on each other, but spend a little more on the kids.

But you know what.

I would rather have what we have, then what you have, anyday.;)

bestpud

You don't need social services to leave your husband!

Contact Women's Aid if he is abusive and they will tell you all you need to know.

You need to find out about renting a place of your own and what benefits you can get until you find work.

Why not start looking for a job now so you can get some money behind you?

Running_Horse

I would divorce any woman who was so shallow and materialistic.

Happiness and companionship are worth more than any expensive goo gaws.

Lotus-eater

Running_Horse wrote: »

I would divorce any woman who was so shallow and materialistic.

Happiness and companionship are worth more than any expensive goo gaws.

Hopefully I'd find that out before we were married, but they wouldn't be on my dating/marriage hit list, that's for sure.