xmas pressie - am still peed off

squirrelchops

I think the husband must be a bit unaware of things if he thinks real pearls would only cost £7.99, therefore if he did know the price of real pearls his buying of this £7.99 shows he was premeditated in deliberatley choosing set of cheap fake pearls.

I enjoy whatever I reveice from OH as he always gives me gifts that show he has actually been listening to me!!! I only mean it may be that a few months ago i've said 'Ooooo I like that band'..then he will get me the CD for example...I don't instruct him in what I would like but he knows me well enough.

Fortuntely we woud both have 1 thing of good quality, even if we have to wait to get it, than lots of cheap tat so are on the same wavelength.

OP you need to tackle him outright on this but also reflect on exactly why you still feel upset 3 weeks later....and root out what is the underlying issue.

Jo_F

Cor blimey, I have hundreds of fresh water pearls sat here doing nothing at the moment, I wonder if the Op would like to buy them!

Seriously, I am still trying to figure out where social services come in to all this

Frith

blue_haddock wrote: »

Well if she didn't appreciate that why not send her to a health farm next year?

Give her a facial instead!

Is it just me that is finding a double entendre in every post?! :rolleyes:

thorsoak

After 46 years of marriage, I now receive wonderful presents from OH. I tell my daughter/best friend/son what I would like to receive from him. They tell in - in great detail - in fact my best friend and I have been out to get "exactly" what I want from him - she hands it over to him - he hands over the dosh, he wraps it .....very messily - and hands it over to me with a great beam of delight at how clever he has been

That's the way to do it!

tandraig

I wasnt on here last night so have just been through. why do some of you think I should be grateful for any crap? because you are? thats up to you.
some of you asked what i got OH. he asked for money - I had £50 left in account because I got DS2 his kids main pressies (dont ask). so I gave him that.
Yes it may be because of deep seated problems - but he has mostly been crap at present giving. oh and recieving! his usual reaction on gettin a present is to unwrap it. then put it aside. saying nothing! he has to be prodded as to whether he likes it! I blame his parents!
and to those who think I am spoilt? try living through miners strike and OH always on low wages. Its only the last couple of years he has earned decent money.
and to anyone trying to leave a marraige - dont expect the gov to help you - they dont. they work against you - I had to have an interview with a guy in my marital home and they expected me to produce documents of HIS pay and pension! OH and my OH was present!!! even the ss guy was embarassed! but I still didnt get any money!!!

KiKi

Tandraig, I think that people's reactions to you are more disbelief that you are upset over a present when you're with a man you want to divorce.

The way you're talking sounds like had he bought you real pearls, then the fact that you can't stand him, and the fact that you want to divorce him, wouldn't matter. Him buying you a really nice present won't make the other issues go away. You're furious he only spent £8 on you - but as you can't stand him, why does it matter?! You ask why you should put up with a crappy present - and yet you put up with a crappy marriage.

It's like being really p*ssed off that your husband put up the wrong wallpaper in your lounge when your house is about to be demolished.

I wish you all the best.
KiKi

bestpud

tandraig wrote: »

and to anyone trying to leave a marraige - dont expect the gov to help you - they dont. they work against you - I had to have an interview with a guy in my marital home and they expected me to produce documents of HIS pay and pension! OH and my OH was present!!! even the ss guy was embarassed! but I still didnt get any money!!!

As myself and others have repeatedly told you, social services have nothing to do with benefits or the type of situation you describe!!

I'm really struggling to see why you involved them or why you even think they would be the people to approach, let alone help you??

If you want to leave, get yourself along yo the CAB and they will tell you what you can claim and how.

How do you think everyone else manages to end a relationship??

If you are not working, you can claim JSA, same as anyone else. You could also claim LHA but would need to seek advice if the marital home is owned rather than rented.

You were barking up the wrong tree with social services - that's why they gave you no money!!

shandypants5

Tandraig,
I have been pretty tough on you in this thread and I stand by every word I have said, But you do sound unhappy and there is not an easy fix for that.

I dont think the pearls are the root of your problem, maybe you should look at the "good" or "nice" things your husband does occasionally, and think about how You seem to Him?

I am certainly not the best husband in the world, but i hope I do have some redeeeming features, and HOPEFULLY mrss Shandy spots them.

I wouldnt know a pearl from a marble, so I have more than likely dissapointed my wife on several occasions.

Please take a step back from this thread (and your marriage) and take a look at what you have, and think about what you want.

Life isnt about having what you want, its about Wanting what you have.

As has been said above, you generally post good advice on these boards, Please continue to do so and I really do hope you see this problem for the small thing that it is.

Good luck with whatever route you choose.

Taffyscot

smamst wrote: »

My OH won't wear pearls at all because of the way they farm the things. I think she just likes the diamonds and there is no cruelty involved in farming those things.

OMG I don't believe I am reading that. No cruelty mining or farming for diamonds. Please look at the movie blood diamond. I will never buy another diamond

chris_n_tj

tandraig wrote: »

I wasnt on here last night so have just been through. why do some of you think I should be grateful for any crap? because you are? thats up to you.
some of you asked what i got OH. he asked for money - I had £50 left in account because I got DS2 his kids main pressies (dont ask). so I gave him that.
Yes it may be because of deep seated problems - but he has mostly been crap at present giving. oh and recieving! his usual reaction on gettin a present is to unwrap it. then put it aside. saying nothing! he has to be prodded as to whether he likes it! I blame his parents!
and to those who think I am spoilt? try living through miners strike and OH always on low wages. Its only the last couple of years he has earned decent money.
and to anyone trying to leave a marraige - dont expect the gov to help you - they dont. they work against you - I had to have an interview with a guy in my marital home and they expected me to produce documents of HIS pay and pension! OH and my OH was present!!! even the ss guy was embarassed! but I still didnt get any money!!!

In your first post I thnk you said your hubby had thousands in the bank? So you are entitled to half.


oh sorry stef - you asked if finances were a factor. hun, he has thousands in his CURRENT account!




I am sorry but you can claim benifits if you leave your husband, you go to the benifits office and put a claim in. Then you go to the housing office and put your name down for some where to live. As a homeless person they do this pretty quickly. In the mean time you stay with friends or family.
You cant have things all your own way, if i wanted out from my marrage i wouldnt give too hoots what hubby had got me for Christmas.
If you dont love him then why are you so bothered on what he did or didnt get you for Christmas, this is the thing I cant understand.
It seems to me that you are very depressed maybe you need to go and talk to some one?
Up to now you have blaimed his parents, a low paid job,and the miners strike, ( if your hubby was a miner he wasnt on low pay).
Not once have you said you are partly to blaim, you need help asap by the sound of it. I really do hope you find what you are looking for real soon.
Chris n TJ