xmas pressie - am still peed off

Susan_Frost

Put it in a drawer and dont wear it, if you are upset. Wearing it will only bring the upset back to mind, especially if you wear it for special occasions and you feel uncomfortable. But then try to forget about it.

OR

You could wear it, but as every day type jewellery, when it may not matter so much to you. If he does eventually notice and ask, then just say it is the real ones you like, so dont want to wear them for best but they are lovely to wear on a day to day basis.

Only you know your OH, could he afford them or not, and if not, maybe he was trying to please you and just does not get it. If he is a genuine cheapskate then he has wasted his money.

If he could not afford a necklace (assumption) of real ones, he could have bought a bracelet or ear-rings or even a pendant with just one, genuine, pearl - which would have been much cheaper. Or been honest and said he just did not have that type of money.

I would rather have £10 spent on something where £10 meant you got a really good quality item of whatever it is, than £100 on something which would need £1000 spent on it to get a decent quality - iyswim.

Whatever you do, dont spoil a happy relationship over it. It is not worth it.

Edit - typed before others had replied, now I know he paid less than a tenner then either get your own pressie in future or get another OH if he is like this over everything. Is it reflective of how he feels about you ???

epsilondraconis

OP, I know how your partner feels. My wife was less than impressed with the pearl necklace I gave her.

tandraig

stef240377 wrote: »

Can i ask whether finances may have played a part in his choosing a cheaper substitute for your present?

While in Cornwall i went with hubby and opened a pearl - cost £20 to do it but the value of the pearl was guarateed to be in excess of £50. It so happened the one i opened was identical twins (4mm) and also a rare blue in colour i have a valuation certifcate for them and iirc it was £80 and hubby opened one and had a single blue pearl which i had crafted into a ring, the value of that one as it was 6mm @ £78. Have been looking for mounts to turn the 'twins' into earrings. For me these are irreplacable and a constant reminder of our time together and a holiday. I have seen similar items in the shop for hundreds of pounds.

stef you must have been in same place as me - honestly I was so excited at finding my rather large golden pearl! and for same reason - made the holiday for me! he knew that.

as I said - ive got a bit of a thing for pearls. they are my birthstone but I love them anyway. i can tell a real from a fake a mile away.
so why he insults me with fakes I cant fathom.#
and as for previous christmas pressies -

or why he thinks I like cheap scent - I dont
or why he thinks I want cheap market slippers which fall apart two weeks later.
or why he thinks I want clothes his mother would wear
why he thinks I want fake gold

I doubt if he spends more than ten pounds. or £2.50 if he thinks he can get away with it.

tandraig

oh sorry stef - you asked if finances were a factor. hun, he has thousands in his CURRENT account!

creased-leach

I expressly asked my husband to get me nothing for xmas, which he did. It doesn't mean he thinks nothing of me.

blue_haddock

epsilondraconis wrote: »

OP, I know how your partner feels. My wife was less than impressed with the pearl necklace I gave her.

Well if she didn't appreciate that why not send her to a health farm next year?

Give her a facial instead!

shellsuit

He's your husband, so you should be able to talk to him and tell him.

If you say he always buys you something naff, how about telling him exactly what you want next time (as in, there is an X at Y shop, and it costs £X), or go shopping with him and pick something out.

It could be worse, he could have got you sod all.

You give good advice on this forum, so pretend that someone else has posted the OP ~ what would your advice be to them?

epsilondraconis

OP, did your husband get you other gifts as well, or were the pearls the main present?

Although he has thousands in his account, is he concerned about his job security and not wishing to spend too much?

If I were you I would say to him that this year you want to ensure that you get him something he really wants and say to him, "how about this year we get each other two main presents, one that the person has chosen as something they want, and the other present a surprise bought by the partner".

As part of the build up to Christmas it will be nice for you both to pick out something that you want.

Another approach you could take is wait until you are wandering around the shops and you are having a good day. You could have a look in a jewellers window and jokingly ask him where he got your pearls from that he gave you at Christmas. If he asks why, say that you were only asking because they had a uniqueness about them.

The alternative is to simply come out and tell him that he is buying you crap gifts and he needs to get his act together.

Good luck.

Cruiksl

Since we had kids, my DH has been awful at buying presents. For my birthday he phoned me the day before to ask what book I wanted and then gave it to me unwrapped.

I was really hurt at him for not making the effort. After I sulked for a few days and spoke about it to one of my best friends who pointed out that DH had cycled out of his way (about 10 miles in either direction) to get me the book and that his work was very stressful at that time did I forgive him. He's wonderful with the kids and would do anything for me (apart from chose presents - lol)

We did talk about it though - and I told him that I felt worthless - I make a big effort for his birthday that we agreed that I would make a wish list. I did that for Christmas and got lovely presents - he chose from the list of things that I would like. Although - it's not about the cost of presents - it's that a little thought has gone into them.

I still get envious when friends other halfs get them really thoughtful things and have to realise that DH just isn't that way inclined. He does however, still bring me a drink of juice every night to bed and that's true romance and thoughtfulness for me !

Alcmene

You need to train him, he's not going to know without your input.

I agree with you, I love pearls and hate fakes. I wear real Mallorca pearls as everyday wear.