What does this mean?

elfen

The dogs are only loved and treated like family pets by the OP. Her OH affears to be an agressive, controlling man who is either planning to use the male as a status symbol or train it to fight, and to use the b!tch as a breeder to make money of. He appears to have no comprehension of hygiene around his young child and the b!tch in heat, also no comprehension of the possible deformities and problems caused by an interbred pair of Staffies, in fact any familial interbreed causes the same (major case in point: German Shephereds)

OP, you NEED to sit him down and tell him a few home truths. Ask his if he's the one who's going to pay for the pups to be scored, as no-one will want them unless they have been tested and vaccinated. Will he ensure the b!tch and dog don't meet? Will he be responsible if his outlandish and frankly dangerous behaviour leads to HIS child, HIS FLESH AND BLOOD being injured by a dog he refused to be neuteured/spayed as he just sees them as a moneymaking opportunity? Will he be responsible if HIS child becomes ill through sucking fingers with blood on them? Would he feel ANYTHING if you got in between them and were lucky enough to only lose a limb, (god forbid if you got pg again - not god forbid it happens, just god forbid the worst case scenario) or an unborn child due to his pigheadedness.

From what I've read, this guy sends chills up my spine. I managed to get away from the domineering, controlling b*stard who made my life a misery, and I don't want to see it happen to someone else. I and no-one else can make you leave him, but please remember what we have said, not only about him but the dogs too

Let this woman take the dogs, see if there is a PDSA/RSPCA place who will get them done for a minimum cost. Let him put up posters for their return, amd she brings them back, saying they were in the pount and sorry they neutered them as they didn't know who owned them.

joan_brennan

Let this woman take the dogs, see if there is a PDSA/RSPCA place who will get them done for a minimum cost. Let him put up posters for their return, amd she brings them back, saying they were in the pount and sorry they neutered them as they didn't know who owned them.
good call Elfen a woman after my own heart. What is that saying devious outwits brawn every time:D this way OP gets to keep her dogs too

hethmar

To be honest from what coco has said about the bloke, either she will get punished for taking the dogs away, the people who have the dogs will get it or he will simply get more dogs (with wide a head as possible).

May be we are getting the wrong end of the stick here as we are only hearing one side of the story, but from what we HAVE heard he doesnt sound a stable person who would just forget about Coco "disobeying" him.

I certainly wouldnt want to cross him and stay in the same house. by the sounds of it.

zaksmum

I know this thread has gone way off the paw thing, but both my dogs do it...it's just their way of getting your attention or saying "don't stop" when I'm scratching behind their ears or their tummies...totally harmless and I'd never see it as a sign of aggression or dominance.

Seems like the only dominant aggressor is the op's O/H and as others have said, she needs to get out of such a damaging relationship as soon as she can.

Big hug for you, CocoPopsLover.

Mutter_2

You sound such a lovely lady Coco, so please take great care as I can imagine great trouble for you if he knows you neutered or rehomed the dogs.

Personally I'd be looking to rehome myself and baby too, with at least Angel.

ETA. zaksmum is right, we have strayed from the subject.

Don't all dogs do the paw thing? Ranging from a touch, to pulling your hand down to where they want to be stroked. Mine also pushed their head underneath my arm, hint, hint. Paddy also puts his head on my foot so I stroke him that way, it's just dog/human interaction.

Maybe not macho enough for the owner, but OP sounds a natural with dogs.

tandraig

we did stray from the original post - but to my mind - I am glad we did!! not glad that the OP is having such trouble, but glad that she has poured out her fears to us about a much much greater problem.
I think that the OP sounds like a very nice lady who doesnt deserve the way her OH is treating her. I also think that she has seen a side of her OH he hasnt revealed until now. I think this is what prompted her to post. maybe in the hopes that he was right and it was a dominance thing? in which case she could have relaxed a bit - instead we have all confirmed what she 'knew in her heart'.
now she needs support and common sense advice - and as most of us here also post on marraiges etc - where better place? oh and board guide - I really dont care its on the pets thread - so please dont move it!!!! especially as OP hasnt yet decided what to do about the pets in question!

ps, sorry to talk about you as if you werent here OP.

foreign_correspondent

I agree that CocoPopsLover sounds like a natural with dogs... I think she is far more relaxed with them, and able to handle them than her OH is! I expect she will be a fabby mum to the little one for the same reasons.

OP, I think it sounds like your natural instincts are to nurture, whereas your partners instinct seems to be to control - I do think this may well express itself in other aspects of your lives sooner or later, especially around childrearing.

However, I do think it is worrying now that these dogs are in your home, with you for almost all the time, and your baby, and it sounds as if you are doing a lot of the donkey work, but the decisions about them - i.e. how the dogs are trained, when they are crated, whether they are neutered or not, all seem to be his decisions, taken on his own, as if the dogs have nothing to do with you...

Whilst they live in your house and are a shared responsibility, it would be normal for these things to be discussed, and for your partner to take on board your thoughts, especially where decisions regarding the dogs impact on your peace of mind, and potentially the baby's health and safety.

perplexed.com

I do not have any specific advice as i don't know the full history of the OP and the dogs etc. However I would just like to say that experts have discovered a very real link between how a person treats animals and how they treat people.

I'm NOT saying your OH is sociopathic but the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association includes mistreatment of animals as one of the behaviours linked with sociopathy. Obviously other behaviours are needed to make a diagnosis but I wanted to alert you to this link.

People with such personality problems can be very charming and lovable and sometimes it is only in particular circumstances that they show their true colours.

I don't want to alarm you unduly but felt I could not read this and not comment, bearing in mind, of course, that this is a forum I don't know enough to judge the situation properly.

hethmar

Personally, I feel coco's question really was deeper than it appears on the first posting. I hope Coco, that people's responses have made your way forward clearer.

jenhug

Well he sounds like a charming, stereo typical chav to me.
You are well rid of him.
Poor dogs and poor you.