What does this mean?

hethmar

Only just seen this one and I started off thinking what a w****er your OH is and ended up thinking he should be the one pts. What on earth are you doing with someone who wont neuter the dog because he wants a wider head??? what is that all about? is it a macho thing or is he going to use the dog to fight or something.

Get out of this relationship now kiddo, it can only end in more misery than you have already had with this pathetic excuse for a man.

CocoPopsLover

foreign_correspondent wrote: »

I do see your point, but I do think the OP should consider all her options here, not make a rushed decision, which could end badly for her, the baby and the dogs...

This lady lives not too far away from me and has always hinted that she would love to have the dogs if we went on holiday or anything. I know from previous general conversations that she has the space, the patience, the time and love for these dogs and the dogs are always very happy around her. She hass even walked them for me when I have been too unwell to take the dogs for their well loved walks. She would also let me see the dogs as much as I wanted.

foreign_correspondent wrote: »

Some people do not get as emotionally involved with animals as others -he has said he does not care if the dog lives or dies, but who knows whether he means this - I am sure we have all said ill-judged things in arguements - I know I have anyway...

This is very true but he has made such comments on several occasions, but the funny thing is, he has never said such vile things in front of other dog owners or in public

foreign_correspondent wrote: »

He wants to exert contol over the dog by shouting - so do a vast number of dog owners, sadly, and programmes like CM do not help, with his 'just dominate it' mantra... and, plenty of (otherwise sensible) people still think hitting a dog is good training. Again, I think people can be re-educated here... these are not skills and knowledge we are born with.

It may be that getting out of this relationship would be the right thing for the OP to do, but I will leave that to her judgement... it may also be that her OH is not really that well educated about how to train dogs, and is being told (probably by the same people who encouraged him to not neuter his dog) that yelling and shouting at the dog is the way to let it know who is boss..

Im glad you said this, he is a strong believer in CM 'theories'. As much as I agree with some of his teachings, i dont like the pinning down thing as well as other teaching of his. If I say no, they listen to me so I dont see why I need to exert violence over them to make them know their wrong, if they listen to a simple no.

msflowerfairy wrote: »

Sorry i didn't mean for anyone to get the wrong end of the stick that the OP should beat her partner with, my comment was very tongue in cheek, i have already given my opinion earlier, and i stick by it.

Lol, I'm sorry, I laughed at the comment

hethmar wrote: »

Only just seen this one and I started off thinking what a w****er your OH is and ended up thinking he should be the one pts. What on earth are you doing with someone who wont neuter the dog because he wants a wider head??? what is that all about? is it a macho thing or is he going to use the dog to fight or something.

Get out of this relationship now kiddo, it can only end in more misery than you have already had with this pathetic excuse for a man.

I dont know what he is thinking

CocoPopsLover

foreign_correspondent wrote: »

Not everyone gets emotionally involved with dogs, or bonds with them, and maybe your OH is one of these - but, if you keep the dogs, would he consider letting you get them neutered, for your own peace of mind, and because you care for them and are emotionally involved?

No

foreign_correspondent wrote: »

Would he respect your wishes on the basis that you will be happier if they are done...?

No

foreign_correspondent wrote: »

With a baby in the house, it would also be far, far safer to have them done - your lad may get quite distressed and frustrated, and snappy, with an unneutered b1tch in the same house - really he could be done first as she cannot be done whilst on heat - however, he will still be fertile for a little time after...

Would the arguement that it is safer for the baby, both in terms of dog aggression, and for hygeine reasons - ie. the baby crawling on the floor where the dog has been dripping blood, not sway him?

He knows this, he doesnt care and the fact Angel is dripping blood will not sway him, he will just say mop the floor with bleach on a regula basis. If I dont agree to it, he will then lock her in her cage from the start to finish of her heat or lock her in the hall way which is not big, she shouldnt be restricted.

Now I am sitting here, i am thinking, what if he forces her to mate if she doesnt want to? No way, this has made me make up my mind, the dogs are going, i would never live with myself if that happened, if she is going to be bred, let her go to a responsible breeder

Apricot

I've just read through this thread and have to say I think you getting rid of the dogs is a good idea. It's not fair on her to live in fear & not good to cause arguments between you and your OH. I know it will be hard but in the end they will have a far better life as you already know you're not going to be able to change your OH's behaviour towards them.

Good luck & stay strong x

Fire_Fox

CocoPopsLover I wish you love, peace and happiness.

Claire_Bear

Like Tandraig said though, please be careful if you do decide to give the dogs away as OH sounds quite unpredictable and scary. The dogs are important but you're more important and if you think you might be in any sort of danger or trouble then it's not worth it.

On the other hand, if he knows the potential danger your baby is in, and he doesn't even care, is he worth staying with? Surely your child's safety is more important than your dog having a wider head?!

foreign_correspondent

Right, I was giving him the benefit of the doubt earlier - but I am now stepping over to the side of this indicating deeper problems if he will not act in the best interests of the dogs, the baby or yourself...

I think you will have problems as it does indicate a gulf betweeen your core values and his, and a lack of willingness to listen or compromise on his part.

Either get the dogs neutered, or let them go to someone who will, but you do sound as if you fear his reaction - if things got really difficult do you have anywhere else you could go?

I do not think he will take kindly to you letting his dogs go elsewhere, and I have to say, legally, I dont know if he could prove they were not yours to give away - if so, the unneutered dogs could well be back with him in days...

foreign_correspondent

It is only a matter of time before your pups will mate, you know... and days, not weeks...

joan_brennan

I have read this thread from start to finish. cocopopslover all that has been said before is sound advice but some less diplomatic than other . the one thing about rehoming is that he might suspect where you have sent them and go gunning. ( not actually gunning) so maybe there is some thought needed to a backup plan whereby the dogs ran off.....or something.... you asked around to see if anyone had seen them etc you need to protect yourself from being accused of giving these loved-and valuable dogs away ... you know who you trust!!
you will only get one chance to give these dogs the life you want for them

CocoPopsLover

yes, it is very true. I guess I better sleep on this one tonight, I am already having a tough time sleeping but its correct, even if he has never showed such feelings towards me, I am fearing him for a reason, and that fear is that I do not know what he is capable of.

I would never thought I'd see the day where I am seriously considering choosing dogs over a man. They have done nothing to no one at all, all the want is love and a run and a little playtime.

Thanks again, FC especially