What does this mean?

CocoPopsLover

Thanks FC for all the insightful info

UKTigerlily

I wouldn't see the paw thing as dominance, my Staffy does this & I see it as her trying to tell me something (She gives a paw when asked in return for whatever I have that she wants)
IMHO I don't think your OH sounds like a caring or responsible Owner for these Dogs so much as I hate to say it, if your relationship is good in all other ways i'd suggest rehoming them.
I *would* suggest leaving him & not the Dogs as they aren't the problem, however if the relationship is otherwise good it's not right to break up as there's a child to consider & he'd still have the Dogs so they'd still be treated the same.

Please try to get him to visit a Rescue &/or to read up about the situation with Rescue Staffs, a woman near to me breeds them 'Just for the money', she sold one but apparently wasn't happy with his new Owner's & how they treated him so gave him to a neighbour of mine, who is now trying to sell him for £175, he's about seven months old maybe!
If he breeds her (& personally I wouldn't let him think you may help as that'smore reason for him to do it) he has to consider:

1) What if she needs a caesarian section? Insurance (If you have it) won't cover it & it's normally OOH (Out of hours/at night) which costs more, it could be hundreds, i'd say £400 at least.
a) If she does need a caesarian, would he know when to take her & what is normal? What if she dies due to complications with the anaesthetic? She might get an infection also
b) If she dies through a caesarian *or* a normal birth (It happens) or she rejects the Pups, who will rear them for eight weeks? Would he want to risk her life also?

Think of the extra costs, extra food for Mum & Pups when old enough, wormers (Pups have to be done every 2 weeks I think?), the first part of the primary course of vaccinations, any Vet bills, formula milk if he has to hand rear them, the tests for genetic illness such as cataracts to be sure he's breeding from a healthy Mum

If she's nervous/fearful the Pups will pick up on this & could be the same, this isn't good at all, you need a calm & friendly Mum & Dad & also they'll need socialising with everything (Cats/other Dogs/kids & babies/noises such as the hoover/tv etc etc) do you have the time? TBH *you* should get a 50% say in this as these Pups will be raised in your home too, if you don't want him to breed them then tell him no.

If he decides to just breed them without health checks & so on, he may end up giving them away but in the eight weeks they'll be causing havoc, getting under your feet & toileting all over the place, do you want that with a young baby? Also if you need to hand rear them, it's every 1-2hrs all around the clock, are you or he going to really want to do that & see to a baby & work?

I'm not having a go at you, i'm glad you've come for advice & i'm not a breeder so don't know if my thoughts are 100%, i'm sure some breeders could write about how it really is! Please try to educate him, you could do things like say 'Ohhh Tigerlily's Staffy got two Mammary Tumours which are probably due to not being Spayed (She was a Rescue that hadn't been Spayed by her previous Owner's) & tell him how much it costs to remove them, plus the risks of the surgery & the recovery & also that they could be cancerous, or tell him about Pyometra which can kill if the Dog gets it (A womb infection), or about the risks of phantom pregnancy etc

As to the male getting a bigger head, afaik it's down to genetics & age (As in they obviously get bigger the older the Pup until he's fully grown) & not to being entire or not. Point out that an entire Staffy is more likely to be stolen (Can be used for breeding & dog fighting) & can get testicular cancer & may try to get to a female, who he'll smell from about 5 miles away, which could mean he gets lost or stolen or causes an RTA while out looking.

I could go on but I won't, please try to talk to him more as some people have no idea about the risks of breeding or the problems of Staffs in Rescue x

Penny35_2

Your poor staff, this is not fair on her, she should not feel she has to spend her time in a cage cos he is home.

I have a staff puppy he is nearly 14 weeks I can honestly say it is the best dog I have ever owned, completley toilet trained in a week, very well behaved and very affectionate and he puts his paw on us affectionatley. He is a lovely confident, happy puppy.

I believe though my puppy is not unique most staffs are like this.

Please make him see sense and let your girl have the life she deserves, dont forgot when an animal feels scared and trapped they can turn.

Good Luck

msflowerfairy

I have 2 Border Collies, and they both do it when i am making a fuss of them, it is just their way of returning affection, and getting as close to you as they can.
Dogs also pick up on emotion through touch, which is why if you are stressed when you walk them, it will be picked up on.

It seems to me that you partner is incredibly clueless when it comes to caring for dogs, and he really needs to do some research, and stop being such a know it all!

He also appears to be very controlloing of you, and is using the dogs as another way of asserting his dominance over the house.

I would be very concerned about this situation, because dogs, as well as humans can only take so much before they snap, and humans don't get put down.

lisawood78

My 2 danes also do the paw thing, but in different ways.
One does it when she wants something, she'll pull you with her paw if she wants to go out or if her water bowl is empty.
The other will just cuddle up as close as she can and loop a paw over your leg or shoulder like a cuddle, she'll sleep like this at times.

Kimitatsu

I am going to post and be quiet on this one, but I have HAD litters of puppies, they were all booked before they were born, and I had references and vet checks the works done.

Its not just about breeding them and then the birth, there are lots of things in between, scans to make sure they are growing ok, hopefully the birth will be ok but if not its a ceaser which is bl**dy expensive, and then as the babies grow up its worming them, frontline and when they start to wean they will need to be fed up to 4 times a day. I bred my girl because I wanted a pup to show out of her, I didnt make any money out of the litter at all by the time I had added it up, and it would probably have been not much more to go and buy a pup from another breeder.

This isnt about anyone just popping home they need to be fed, loved, socailised around a myriad of noises and places and people - when I had a litter I practically became the local creche because every child used to come and play with the babies so I knew they were used to all sorts of behaviour. Mums at this point become really protective of their babies so if Angel is scared of your OH NOW - then she will defend them if he then shouts at them.

FC has far more knowledge of this breed than I do, but all of my dogs have always put a paw up, its their way of saying "mum I'm here, need a fuss", in fact my working spaniels at night drape themselves across my knee and feet, thats not dominance its just feeling close to their pack.

All of my dogs (7 in total) have crates they can go into, and they do when they want a bit of peace, or they want to sleep, or they want to hide their treasures lol, its not a place of punishment or imprisonment, its a place of safety, and in the wild that is what their "cave" would be. Thats why she runs into her cage when he comes home, its safe and she can be away from him.

I share Firefox's concerns, if this is his behaviour towards the dogs, what will happen in the future to you or your child? What will happen when he/she becomes a teenager and starts to give him the lip - trust me, even the most patient person has their mettle tested at that point! My grandmother used to say to me, see how a man treats his animals because thats how he treats others, when I met my OH, he not only had to get on with my kids but the dogs had to like him too, otherwise that was it :rotfl:thankfully they all got on (I knew they would!) Mind you I am not the best person to ask, my first husband gave me the ultimatum of him or the dog and I told him I would miss him :cool: I had the dog 16 years from 10 weeks old to the day he died, the husband only lasted 10......

If it was me, I would be taking the dogs and getting them spayed regardless of what he says, after all, it is in their best interests and there is little that can be done once they have had the op. I would also look for a dog training class that your OH can take the dogs too (your local vet will be able to help) if you decide to keep them.

Good luck with everything and take care of yourself

x

CocoPopsLover

i had yet another discussion with my oh about the dogs, and it wasnt good

It breaks my heart to say this but I am going to rehome the dogs. There is a dog trainer I normally walk with and she loves the dogs, I am going to see if she can take the off my hands because she absolutely adores them and I feel she can give them a better loving him as she has a staff and has had so many staffs in her time, I kind of trust her

I spoke to my oh about Angel again and I told him about the possibility of her dying and also tried to get him to look at the links I received from you guys and you know what he said to me? 'Its only you that will care if she dies, shes just a dog', I tell you, I could have stabbed him there and then, I am so sorry to sound so violent, but yes she is an animal but does she have to be treated like s**t because of it? I dont think so somehow

I couldnt stop crying, I might seem a little too emotional here for some of you but I know its not that easy to just see a pup pass away, even thinking of it hurts

I really am upset and annoyed its come to this but after reading the reponses, it has come to my attention that this is for the best

I will still get to see them, they will be in a family home with a child as well, so they should fit in well, they know the lady and from what i see from them, they will love her as much as she loves them

Now iv just got to deal with my oh....I see us breaking up over this one...but its my choice, i know what the consequences are and ill face them

Fire_Fox

(((((hugs)))))

mouseymousey99

CocoPopsLover - just to send you again my best wishes, sometimes the best decisions are the hardest ones....xxxx Good luck gal to you and the baby....

foreign_correspondent

Hang on a second - do not rush to a crisis here.. you may find that it is not so easy to find homes for two staffies...

Not everyone gets emotionally involved with dogs, or bonds with them, and maybe your OH is one of these - but, if you keep the dogs, would he consider letting you get them neutered, for your own peace of mind, and because you care for them and are emotionally involved? Would he respect your wishes on the basis that you will be happier if they are done...?

With a baby in the house, it would also be far, far safer to have them done - your lad may get quite distressed and frustrated, and snappy, with an unneutered b1tch in the same house - really he could be done first as she cannot be done whilst on heat - however, he will still be fertile for a little time after...

Would the arguement that it is safer for the baby, both in terms of dog aggression, and for hygeine reasons - ie. the baby crawling on the floor where the dog has been dripping blood, not sway him?

Also, just a thought, but if you are having these conflicts over how the dog is trained, I envisage similar problems may well occur when the baby becomes a 'naughty' toddler, and ignores his 'authority' - I suggest you start thinking about how you deal with this, and maybe look into some parenting books or courses if concerned!

ETA - thinking about it, I realised last night my dog sometimes puts her paw on me as a sign of appeasement too - if she is worried because if I have done something stupid, like step on her foot accidentally, or drop something noisy, (which she clearly feels I have done to be nasty to her), she very often comes over and puts her paw on me - she is trying to make things between us 'ok' again - the more yor OH shoults at this pup, the more she may try and appease you by putting her paw on you...