What does this mean?

msflowerfairy

Nah just dump the muppet!

foreign_correspondent

msflowerfairy wrote: »

Nah just dump the muppet!

That is fine advice to give theoretically, but if the OP is in a relationship with this chap, they live together and have a child, the outcome could be not ony be negative for the adults concerned, it could leave the baby without both parents, put their accomodation at risk, and finding homes for two staffies is nigh on impossible...

She has to think of the dogs, sure, but she also has to think of herself and the child.

The worst case scenario is that the OP ends up looking for a home, with her baby, and two dogs end up going to the pound, as she cannot find any accomodation that will take the dogs...

To my mind, the best case scenario is probably that she manages to get the dogs neutered, and works on training the OH ...

However, the conflict here could well be indicative of deeper problems within the relationship, it appears that her OH finds it hard to back down on something that he sees to be about his own power and masculinity - however, the OP also says he is not normally like this, and only gets like it over the dogs - she knows her own situation better than we can...

Fire_Fox

FC are you reading the same thread we are???

foreign_correspondent

Fire_Fox wrote: »

FC are you reading the same thread we are???

Have I missed something?

Fire_Fox

This [STRIKE]man[/STRIKE] bully doesn't appear to care that he has reduced his life partner to tears. This [STRIKE]man[/STRIKE] bully is controlling, verbally abusive and has invoked fear in a family pet. This [STRIKE]man[/STRIKE] bully does not appear to care if the dog is mentally scarred nor if it lives or dies. Ask yourself what would be your advice if the exact same behaviour was displayed towards the baby or indeed the OP herself?

foreign_correspondent

Fire_Fox wrote: »

This [STRIKE]man[/STRIKE] bully doesn't appear to care that he has reduced his life partner to tears. This [STRIKE]man[/STRIKE] bully is controlling, verbally abusive and has invoked fear in a family pet. This [STRIKE]man[/STRIKE] bully does not appear to care if the dog is mentally scarred nor if it lives or dies. Ask yourself what would be your advice if the exact same behaviour was displayed towards the baby or indeed the OP herself?

I do see your point, but I do think the OP should consider all her options here, not make a rushed decision, which could end badly for her, the baby and the dogs...

She says he is only like this over the dogs, and there is no indication that he would treat her or the baby in the same way... We do all sorts of things to dogs that would be unnaceptable to do to humans (putting them on leads and collars, in cages, etc!) - I dont think it necessarily follows that a bad dog owner will be a bad parent, although his ideas on discipline may well be outdated overall - however, good parenting courses help parents like that learn new skills for dealing with children..

Some people do not get as emotionally involved with animals as others -he has said he does not care if the dog lives or dies, but who knows whether he means this - I am sure we have all said ill-judged things in arguements - I know I have anyway...

He wants to exert contol over the dog by shouting - so do a vast number of dog owners, sadly, and programmes like CM do not help, with his 'just dominate it' mantra... and, plenty of (otherwise sensible) people still think hitting a dog is good training. Again, I think people can be re-educated here... these are not skills and knowledge we are born with.

It may be that getting out of this relationship would be the right thing for the OP to do, but I will leave that to her judgement... it may also be that her OH is not really that well educated about how to train dogs, and is being told (probably by the same people who encouraged him to not neuter his dog) that yelling and shouting at the dog is the way to let it know who is boss..

It may also be that he is sticking with these ideas because he has backed himself into a corner here.. he may see these things differently with a bit of time...

..realistically, it may well prove impossible to rehome these dogs, and the OP needs to know that it is not an easy or quick option, unless the dog trainer she knows agrees to take them...

Fire_Fox

FC I will PM you if that is ok.

foreign_correspondent

Fire_Fox wrote: »

FC I will PM you if that is ok.

course it is!

msflowerfairy

Sorry i didn't mean for anyone to get the wrong end of the stick that the OP should beat her partner with, my comment was very tongue in cheek, i have already given my opinion earlier, and i stick by it.

tandraig

cocopopslover? you still here?
I didnt post again as on further reading I was so infuriated with your OH I was afraid of getting chucked off the site!
hun, I think that this situation has made you see your Oh in a new, different light. and you obviously dont like what you see.
think hard hun, about the way you rehome the dogs - and be ready to move out or get him out fast! make sure someone is with you when you tell him what you have done. be VERY VERY CAREFUL!!!
before the dogs came you thought you knew him and you trusted him. just consider how uncaring he is of the dogs welfare and in my experience people who can treat dogs or any other animal badly can do the same to humans.
if you are still reading this thread - then please, be careful.