Debt Free by 40 Debt Diary

SuSu1871

Hi OM

I've been visiting this site for around a month now. This is my first post and I'm glad it's going to you. I've spend the last few hours reading all 31 pages of your diary and...WOW!!!

I'm so impressed with your commitment to dealing with your finances. I'm sure you'll be DF before 40.

What I've found most interesting, however, is how your confidence has grown over the last few months. You're an amazingly strong woman - the way you refuse to be beaten by the banks; the way you're dealing with the dragon; and, on occasion, the way you give you OH what-for...you're an inspiration.

The support you've had from other posters on here is incredibly touching as well. If ever you feel down, or that you're not getting anywhere, why not take the time (okay, it'll take some time) to read your diary from the start. You might not see it now, but you've achieved an awful lot - you've a lot to be proud of.

I can identify with a lot of what you're going through. I too am facing up to my debts and hope to be DF by the time I'm 38 (three years time). Mainly, however, I've had bad bosses, and have been through the HR process of dealing with it. It was difficult having to sign a statement listing a former boss's shortcomings, knowing that she'd read it, but I always feel better having done something than having done nothing.

I've also had a relationship with someone who was an emotional drain on me. Being told, or made to feel, that you're second best, useless and will never achieve anything often enough and you start to believe it. My mother treated me like that for most of my adult life. I believed it, too! Taking the decision to cut her out of my life was the best thing I ever did and of course now I know that none of what she said was true, and that it was her way of trying to control me and keep me insecure.

Please don't think that I've come on here to tell you to ditch your OH - I haven't. I just want you to know that I, and all your forum friends, want the best for you. You're such a selfless person and you really need someone in your life who makes you feel as wonderful as you are.

I will continue to read your diary with interest, as you've truly touched my heart.

Good luck and if I don't post again soon, have a wonderful Christmas & New Year.

SuSu

Ruby_Pudding

What a lovely first post SuSu1871.

oakdale_minx

I've been on and off my diary all day whilst working on AQA, trying to think what to say to all these amazing posts.

I think I will keep it simple and heart felt.

Thankyou. Thankyou all.

If I start on about what I'm thinking about non DFW stuff, I'll probably rattle on all night.....although I will say I didn't get one word of apology when my OH turned up at 9.00pm last night and wondered why I was so annoyed at him...he tried to make out that had been 'joking'....I was quite shocked with myself when I heard my mouth tell him he had been a !!!!!!.......:o ...........it went in one ear though and out of the other......

I've done £45 on AQA today and have hit £300 which I'm pleased about.

I do have a couple of things to report.......the first is a confession of a temptation......

Although I reduced my online Christmas shopping by £35 a few days ago, what I didn't say was that there is (well, was) a free range easy carve fresh goose still on my order. Last night, although I really want to have goose on Christmas Day, I changed it to a turkey and have lopped another £35 off the bill. I've still treated myself to buying free range, but i've been sensible. I have until 10pm on Wednesday to resist the temptation of putting the goose back on the list instead of the turkey.

On Friday I was approached by a manager who I know really well and who is really lovely. She said that there may be a new post coming up which would be suitable for me if I wanted to escape the dragon and to take the re-deployment route.

It is on the pay band below what I currently earn, but if I could be re-deployed I would keep my current salary for the next two years and then drop down a little to the salary of the job. Although taking a pay cut is not what I want to do (or can afford to do), it would give me two years to look for something else and, depending on what happens in life generally something could make me debt free - who knows?

She won't know for a little while if the funding will happen, but I have asked her to let me know as soon as she does. I would take it. It would be people I know, a new direction in my career to focus on (Research and Development work) and it would mean escaping 'her' and not taking an (immediate) pay cut........I'm almost relieved thinking about it, but I need to stay realistic and think it may not happen.

oakdale_minx

A little note to susu1871 - thankyou, you made my day using your first post on me.

SuSu1871

Hi OM

I think the offer of a new job, at the same (increased) salary for two years, sounds marvellous! It gets you out of the way of the dragon and I really think that the way you're going, you'll be almost debt free in two years anyway :T

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the funding becomes available. This would be such a turn-around for you, as it would reduce your stress levels MASSIVELY, and you can't put a price on that.

***

I'm so glad I took the time to read your entire diary last night. It's given me the inner strength to focus on sorting myself out. Going to wait till new year, but have already earmarked tons of stuff to sell on eBay. I'm so looking forward to getting myself out of debt, and am enjoying the challenge of chipping away at my monstrous debts.

I LOVE this forum! Everybody is so supportive and I no longer feel ashamed of my state of affairs. I'm proud to be dealing with my debts.

Thank you OM and thank you everybody else.

Big hugs
SuSu

beanielou

OM Really really hope that the job comes through for you:A

beanielou

SuSu1871
Just wanted to add a big welcome to MSE.
Glad you feel so at home.
Lou

ZTD

oakdale_minx wrote:

I was quite shocked with myself when I heard my mouth tell him he had been a !!!!!!.......:o

I would have been as well. That's just so mild - that's like calling him "sub-optimal"... :eek:

oakdale_minx wrote:

Although I reduced my online Christmas shopping by £35 a few days ago, what I didn't say was that there is (well, was) a free range easy carve fresh goose still on my order. Last night, although I really want to have goose on Christmas Day, I changed it to a turkey and have lopped another £35 off the bill. I've still treated myself to buying free range, but i've been sensible. I have until 10pm on Wednesday to resist the temptation of putting the goose back on the list instead of the turkey.

Sit down and decide - is the goose really worth that much more than the turkey - TO YOU. Don't think about any one else - unless they're paying.

If it is worth it, then buy it with a light and happy heart and enjoy it.

oakdale_minx wrote:

Although taking a pay cut is not what I want to do (or can afford to do), it would give me two years to look for something else and, depending on what happens in life generally something could make me debt free - who knows?

Could you not afford to take a single-scale pay-cut? It's only been very recently that you've had a multi scale-point pay rise. Perhaps preparing an SOA and seeing what's what would help you. It might save you prescription costs, and might just be the change/break that you need.

In short: If the confirmation arises, then do the sums and have a good think about it.

oakdale_minx

The goose.......

Do I want it? Yes
Do I need it? No
Can I get it cheaper anywhere else? Possibly, maybe Lidls.

Can I afford to pay £64 for something that is going to be eaten? No, I flippin' well can't!!
Am I going to stick to turkey? YES (keeping away from the supermarket website so I'm not tempted!!)

Yes, I could afford a pay cut ie, to go back to where I was before this month. I wouldn't take anything which would mean more than a £2,000 a year cut as I want to ensure I have the money to pay off the secured loan faster.

I've had the paperwork through from them and the payments increase, but the term decreases to 5 years on 1 Feb.

Boss has been worryingly and suspiciously nice today. Asking me what I was doing over New Year etc and telling me her plans......

Paid for my last present today, some flowers to be sent for my nanna (used a code from MSE obviously!!), so that is everything bought and sent. Phew.

I think just about every present I have bought this year has been with a code found on MSE, even the present from my grandad from NEXT, I used a free delivery code I found!

I was just reading a thread on the Christmas board and some MSE'ers have spent a frightening amount on presents, I've spent about £275 in total for family and OH, and I started buying back in May!

ZTD

oakdale_minx wrote:

The goose.......

Do I want it? Yes
Do I need it? No
Can I get it cheaper anywhere else? Possibly, maybe Lidls.

Can I afford to pay £64 for something that is going to be eaten? No, I flippin' well can't!!
Am I going to stick to turkey? YES (keeping away from the supermarket website so I'm not tempted!!)

So your mission Minx - should you choose to accept it - is to have a look in Lidl's and see how much it costs there. Then go throught the same selection process.

oakdale_minx wrote:

Yes, I could afford a pay cut ie, to go back to where I was before this month. I wouldn't take anything which would mean more than a £2,000 a year cut as I want to ensure I have the money to pay off the secured loan faster.

But this prospective job only entails a single scale cut doesn't it? Which should only be a few hundred quid cut (less after tax).

oakdale_minx wrote:

Boss has been worryingly and suspiciously nice today. Asking me what I was doing over New Year etc and telling me her plans......

You should be suspicious - but not worried. She needs you more than you need her.

oakdale_minx wrote:

I was just reading a thread on the Christmas board and some MSE'ers have spent a frightening amount on presents, I've spent about £275 in total for family and OH, and I started buying back in May!

I've spent about that too. Depending on how you count it. :rolleyes:

That's with spending - on one hand - approx £200 on parents, and having a Christmas denying GF, so anything I spend on her will come out of a different budget...