Debt Free by 40 Debt Diary

oakdale_minx

you aren't out of order at all gettingthings done, I do keep wondering myself.....


Well, the Carlton has been winched onto a pick up truck and all I have left in front of me is all the paperwork from the MOT's etc over the years, the spare key and £30....how stupid am I to cry over a car?

It was a link to the past and my ex and although we split up over three years ago, it felt sad for a chapter to close as we had bought the car between us.

GettingThingsDone

Ahhhh, that's so sad... I'm crap at moments like this

kiwigirl

Hi OM

Just to say sorry to hear the recent bad news but things will get better soon.

Just a note to say if you're thinking of constructive dismissal route make sure you have a diary or something which you can put all your evidence in. I had 2 years of hell from my boss which in the end I went to see the union which were initially quite good but when I said I wanted to take it further than the cosy chat and I thought he was bullying me (he was threatened by me union confirmed to me - as your boss is with you).

The union backed off quickly and refused to help me in the end, so I seeked legal help, which although did cost me a bit of money I won my case earlier this year. If you'd like a couple of good reading books on bullying at work please PM me and I can give you a few ISBN's. Keep any nasty emails that she sends to you, if you do need to take this further your employer will ask for proof, and boy do they get a shock when as I did supplied them with 200+ different evidence - mind I wasn't being bullied though, did give me a cash settlement and a gagging order.... :eek: he kept his job, I still wonder what he had on the bosses to keep him there as he was sooo awful at his job - 3 years to complete a project which should've taken under 12 months! :eek: Considering what I had on one of bosses, bully must've got some real juicy info! I had a telephone interview for a job (via an internet job website) which paid better than mine today so fingers crossed!

KG

oakdale_minx

Cheers kiwigirl, your offer is much appreciated. I'm going to see what is said at the meeting on Thursday and then plan from there - I will drop you a PM if I think I need the books etc. Because she doesn't realise my new job description has gone through etc she is going to have to be extremely creative if she wants to write a new one that means I don't fit into it.

The union chappy is lovely and doesn't think she has a leg to stand on.

Part of me though thinks, why should I be feeling like this day in , day out. I leave work and I almost 'panic' about what she is going to be demanding the next day. i'm starting to feel it now about tomorrow and it is only 1.30!

In a way, going would be a huge relief. But there is the money side to consider (which will always be the deciding factor, for the forseeable future at least) and the feeling that I don't want her to win. But is it worth making myself ill just so she doesn't get a victory??

On another note, I've finished my online shopping and i'm ashamed to even say what I've spent!!! I really should go back to the list and do a cull, it is definitely a sign of the old me to see some of the items on the list!!

I'm trying to justify it in my head as it being Christmas, but I know i'm kidding myself!!

PercyPig

Hi OM, just catching up on a few threads - so sorry to hear about your exam, what a shame.

I've got some online shopping booked for next week and the bill is a lot higher than normal. I keep looking at it and taking things off but then put them back on so I know how you feel.

Well it IS Christmas :beer: :rudolf:

ZTD

oakdale_minx wrote:

In a way, going would be a huge relief. But there is the money side to consider (which will always be the deciding factor, for the forseeable future at least) and the feeling that I don't want her to win. But is it worth making myself ill just so she doesn't get a victory??

Would you deny yourself a victory, just to spite someone else out of what you perceive to be their victory?

You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.

Booker T. Washington

Your boss is less important than something you stepped in, because you might tread that into the carpet.

IMHO, you need to sit down and decide what you want. Even if that's going to the Peruvian rainforest to learn about monkeys - then that's fine, but you need to decide what you want. Then you need to decide what it is going to cost, in time, money and effort.

Then you need to sit and think and devise a plan to make it happen!

Don't be afraid of going for what you want out of life, just because someone else might be happy about it.

oakdale_minx wrote:

On another note, I've finished my online shopping and i'm ashamed to even say what I've spent!!! I really should go back to the list and do a cull, it is definitely a sign of the old me to see some of the items on the list!!

Go back and do that. You want to be working towards your goal. The old you, with all the baggage, is not part of that.

Did you phone up the OU to find out what your rights of appeal are, since their website appears to be a pile of rose fertilizer?

And I'm sad to hear about your car - but all things do come to an end, even we eventually. Looking on the bright-side, at least it was worth something...where would you get £30 for trading the BF in?

PercyPig

ZTD wrote:

IMHO, you need to sit down and decide what you want. Even if that's going to the Peruvian rainforest to learn about monkeys - then that's fine, but you need to decide what you want. Then you need to decide what it is going to cost, in time, money and effort.

Then you need to sit and think and devise a plan to make it happen!

Don't be afraid of going for what you want out of life, just because someone else might be happy about it.

Excellent advice from ZTD and some I shall be endeavouring to follow myself. There are some aspects of my life I am deeply unhappy with and I need to start putting things right.

Sorry to hijack the thread OM!

oakdale_minx

Hijack away Percy!!!

I've knocked £35 off the shopping.........:o

You are right ZTD........nobody likes my boss so maybe I should just walk away with my head held high.

I haven't phoned the OU, but the letter I had really spelled it out that there is no appeal procedure.

I'm ok about the car as well now. It needed work doing, it was heavy on petrol and was getting scary as it was cutting out regularly on corners.

Who would give me £30 for trading the OH in??....................hhhhhhhhhmmmmmm...........still thinking.......

Time to start looking at the jobs pages. I know what I really want, but it is weird as I've kind of got more scared as I've got older. I moved here in 1992 not knowing the town, the area, having nowhere to live before arriving and I just got on with it.

Gosh ZTD........you are so ever so clever.........swoon...........:happyhear :rotfl: :rotfl:

ZTD

oakdale_minx wrote:

I've knocked £35 off the shopping.........:o

See - think of it as a £35 payrise - after tax.

oakdale_minx wrote:

I haven't phoned the OU, but the letter I had really spelled it out that there is no appeal procedure.

That's really unusual, because they are taking the burden of perfection upon themselves.

The university I went to had to pay a number of students their costs for a year after incompetantly failing them. It only took them about 9 months to realise, and not all of them had re-taken the year, and some were on other courses...

oakdale_minx wrote:

Who would give me £30 for trading the OH in??....................hhhhhhhhhmmmmmm...........still thinking.......

Not tried Cash4Organs.com? :eek:

oakdale_minx wrote:

Time to start looking at the jobs pages. I know what I really want, but it is weird as I've kind of got more scared as I've got older. I moved here in 1992 not knowing the town, the area, having nowhere to live before arriving and I just got on with it.

Sometimes you go through a phase in your life where you think you're coping, but your self confidence is being worn away like a mountain by a stream. Then although you hate the current situation, the fear of change is overriding.

Sometimes you do have to make a leap of faith. Easier said than done though, which is why I would really recommend the detailed planning stage. You'll be better able to cope with the fear of the known and measured, rather than taking a blind plunge.

oakdale_minx wrote:

Gosh ZTD........you are so ever so clever.........swoon...........:happyhear :rotfl: :rotfl:

:shhh: :rolleyes2

peterg1965

oakdale_minx, I have just seen your thread/diary for the first time, I read the first page which you began back in June I think. Regretably I do not have time to read 28 pages (!) but was wondering what the outcome was of you reclaiming your bank charges, which amounted to over £3000?