Debt Free by 40 Debt Diary

SirSaverOBE

Hi, O_M!

I first started following your thread about a month ago and have learned so much from your experiences.

I am now battling Barclaycard to get my charges back, I have been accepted by AQA and returned my contract TODAY, and......have just clocked up £25.52 on Greasypalm (meaning I get paid next month) and £46.00 on QuidCo!

I don't know if any of the survey sites like Lightspeed offer good financial returns for doing the surveys. Can you advise?

Anyway, I am really chuffed about it all and am getting well stuck in to paying off my horrible debts. Can I ask one thing? How do you put your case accross in court if the claiming charges goes that far? What do you say? Is there anything on MSE to help with this?

Chin up! Work sounds tough but you sound like you have found Cruella's weak spot - and good luck with OH. I've been there too and you deserve a lot more support and attention.

Keep posting - I love your diary and it has really made a difference to the way I do things.

oakdale_minx

what a pants day.

Today was my 'performance' meeting with Cruella and HR and basically she dragged up every single comma and apostrophe she hasn't liked that I've written (I kid you not) for the last 9 months and sat and critisised me over every single little petty thing she could drag up. I couldn't get hold of the union rep and cruella had refused to move the meeting. I feel like I've been mentally beaten up and I can't even think of looking the Asst HR manager who attended to take notes inthe eye whenever I next see her. She was lovely but I don't know her very well and Cruella did an amazing job of making look like a complete waste of space. I came back at her on a number of points to which she never had a reply other than some fumbling of paper but basically she wiped the floor with me.

I then came out of the meeting and colleagues - and I know they are only concerned and want the best for me - wanted me to re-count the whole meeting to them. And it made it all feel twice as bad.

I know now I'll have to re-count it to my OH tonight and he will just be 'told you so'. 'you knew she would be like this' 'you should stand up to her more'. Which I know - believe me, I know - but sometimes you don't want to have it rammed down your throat.

Sometimes in life you just want someone not to say a single word but to just put their arms around you and that is support enough.

SirSaverOBE

I'm sorry you've had a pants day. People like 'Cruella' behave the way they do because they have serious issues, and their bullying always comes back to haunt them.

A saying I still live by since I was at school:

"Stand by the river for long enough, and your enemies will come floating by."

Nuff said.

BoingBoing_2

Bunnyinthelights wrote:

If I thought having a screaming tantrum would help, I would have...Corporal punishment was next on my list (JOKE! Would never hit them-God, some humourless OFSTED inspector may be lurking) But seroiusly, they were all little demons.

Bunny, I'm an ex childminder, and on my first inspection my Inspector came with us all on a trip to the local shop, I knew the shopkeeper very well and she joked that I beat all the kids with a big stick! She didn't realise the woman with me was from OFSTED lol.

Luckily the inspector took it as it was intended, a joke, and I actually got a good report lol. I know wat you mean tho, some days are just like being in hell!

O_M go for it with the chocolate! There can never be too many ppl selling chocolate hehe. How about making a chololate voodoo doll of Cruella, you can eat the evidence after sticking it full of pins? lol

GettingThingsDone

sorry to hear it OM - hugs all round

Bunnyinthelights

OM
She is a horrible horrible evil cow.
May she rot in hell.

Bunny x

Katyusha

This may sound really bad, but it's not intended to be - you know that everyone here is rooting for you all the time - but could it be that you should analyse why you seem to be 'engaging' in these rather unpleasant relationships with other people? I am sure that I am speaking for most of us when I say that you are better than that. Why do you take part in these emotional beatings all the time? Cruella, OH, etc. Why did you not insist that the union rep be there? You seem utterly resigned to the fact that OH does not and will not support you. Some mysterious form of caving in seems to be taking place after the successful moves of the past few weeks...

A real shame.

oakdale_minx

Hi Kat - you might well be right you know.....a tiny tiny tiny part of me almost believes that I am only good enough to be treated like this, it is weird.

Well, it is decision time. I have had all the points I raised about the re-structure clarified and I have until Monday to decide. Take the trial (and after a month either of us can say it isn't working) or turn down the trial and start my re-deployment/notice clock ticking.

I think if I take the trial (doing basically my own job - still insulted about that!) she will want to keep me on, but at the same time won't let up with the daily flogging. I don't think she would say it wasn't working, but I wouldn't be bothered if she did. I'd be leaving on the 18th May if I take it and I or she then decides it isn't working.

If I don't take the trial, HR have 7 weeks from Monday to find me something inhouse otherwise I will be leaving on 20 April.

I won't gain anything financially by hanging on until May, it won't qualify me for any more money so I don't think it is worth putting myself through any more hell than necessary.

I have to start planning for the worst.

I've worked out that £1000 a month on AQA and topping it up with £500 a month redundancy will keep megoing for 3 years, so there is no immediate panic about a job.

Ina weird way I'm a bit excited about the prospect. I could work part time and then do AQA to top the money up. I could start my own business in a small way and alsowork on AQA.

I might even sell up, clear the loan with the redundancy money and move up North with £100k equity and start again - who knows!

Ok, I admit it, I'm also a bit terrified about taking the plunge and giving my decision..........I keep getting this slight 'panic' feeling that oh my god, I won't have ajob, I won't have any money, i'll lose the house etc etc etc........I have to remember - I have no unsecured debt. I have AQA as back up. I still have well over £2,500 in the bank from my bank charges etc. I will have almost £17,000 in redundancy (re-worked it out today - not the 19k Ithought it would be).

I just remember all the horrible feelings from years ago with my ex after I was ill and the finances fell apart. Dreading the phone ringing, getting to the post first every single day, trying to sort it all out, not sleeping.

I was stupid with my money last time I was made redundant. I've learnt a lot since 1999 and I have to see it as going forwards and looking to embrace new opportunities.

Gulp.

Seaxwyn

HI oakdale minx

I don't think I've posted on your thread before, but I have been reading it with interest all year.

I think you should just leave the job the quickest way possible, so long as you get redundancy money. I am sure you will feel really liberated not to have to face Cruella every day. I recently left a job with a Cruella-ish boss (different set of personality flaws but still unpleasant to work with) and now I'm out I can't believe I stayed there for six months.

I can't see you've got anything to gain from staying. You did the job well for n number of years before, so you don't have to prove that to yourself or anyone. Give yourself a month's holiday from decision-making, and see how you feel after that.

angelavdavis

oakdale_minx wrote:

I couldn't get hold of the union rep and cruella had refused to move the meeting.

I am sure that having the rep there is your legal right and it is not trog-face's choice to deny you this!

I think you need to have a chat with the union about how you are being treated to see if you can speak confidentially with a solicitor. I think you should have a chat over the phone with a solicitor because I think this treatment is tantamount to constructive dismissal!!!!

Have you spoken to the rep since? What union is it - can you not escalate to a regional level?

oakdale_minx wrote:

a tiny tiny tiny part of me almost believes that I am only good enough to be treated like this.

That is the last we want to hear of this - the time to change is NOW!!!!

Take the redundancy option and then go off sick (get GP to sign you off for stress) so you can look for a job. The organisation obviously doesn't deserve decent staff!!!!!

oakdale_minx wrote:

I have to see it as going forwards and looking to embrace new opportunities.

That's the spirit!!!!:T

I did a similar thing five years ago - I was being bullied because a VP wanted to put his blue eyed boy in my role. So I told him where to stick it (literally) and walked out! It was a fab feeling (I had money in the bank by the way - so not completely mad!). I sold my house in London, cashed in the equity and bought my house by the sea. I then lived on my savings for a few months to recuperate and then got another job paying a lot less but one that gave me the opportunity to do my MBA! They say when one door closes another one opens....!