Relationship advice: my OH didn't defend me!!

slinks

Tribal wrote:

Dump the big sissy and find a real man like the many men who have responded. There is no excuse at all for leaving a girlfriend to fend for herself against mad antagonists -- or even sane ones. Most of us find out what other halves do too late to make The Big Decision. You know what your boyfriend will do: sweet fanny adams. And you want to stay with Mr Wimp?? How could you ever feel safe with him again? The mugger toddles up, rips your bag off your arm, and Mr Man just sidles away and pretends he hasn't seen -- but does say he believes you? Big whopping deal. By now you're beaten up and left for dead?

-- To the kerb!

lol

he has said that if i had been attacked then he would be right by my side sorting it out. i replied i was actually attacked. he doesn't think what happened was an attack and i should have walked away from the situation...

i said i needed help from him at the time but he said he didn't realise what had happened until i told him. fair enough until you add into the equation that i already knew i'd been attacked. at what point is it an attack in his eyes? after the first punch from a 25 stone Vicky Pollard freak? i'd rather someone had my back BEFORE that happened, not afterwards when i'm already in a coma :mad:

slinks

Daytona_nev wrote:

Dump that zero & get yorself a hero!

slinks

jazzyjustlaw wrote:

I am absolutely staggered at your treatment.

Firstly, your OH is not worthy.

Secondly, you should call the police, that was an assault.

I do not understand what happened to make these people irate were you in the way of their 1 p chairs?

I would make a big fuss at Ikea and get a new partner, I cannot put on here what I really think of him but you can kinda guess.

he is worthy in so many ways, i could gush about him on here endlessly...

however, this episode has hurt my brain so much that i now don't know what to do...

all 4 'women' (monsters?) kept going on about other people pushing in and getting chairs before them. screaming at people, calling them names, etc, swearing blindly that they had been in the queue first. it was crazy and stupid and i'm still in disbelief. this was for a few plastic chairs, not starving people scrambling for food...

so when i got seperated from my OH and wanted to be by his side, either they thought i was lying and wanted to punish me or they were just sneakily trying to move 1 person up the queue... how incredibly sad, either way.

slinks

Quackers wrote:

Hi Slinks,

Have you spoken to him yet?

Dont forget to let us know how you get on

Hope it all goes ok & you get the outcome YOU want xx

sorry Quackers, been replying to all the fantastic replies i've had!!

i made him read the thread - not in its entirety as he had to go to work but he spent a good 20 minutes reading most of it.

his explanation afterwards wasn't good enough for me - i didn't see, i didn't hear, you can handle yourself anyway, you should have walked away and ignored it all...

so i ended up screaming the house down, crying my eyes out and made the situation a hundred times worse.

so much for asking for advice and then ignoring it all!!!!!!!!

thanks for the support - it helped me sort some parts of my brain out and gave me additional points to ponder (and scream about)

here's to a happy ending :beer:

i hope

slinks

Miroslav wrote:

If I had a g/f and she acted like your b/f, she wouldn't be my g/f anymore.

And I would say you had grounds for assault. Just make sure you have support from someone, although by the sounds of it, your b/f is not the one to ask!

that's one reason i want to find out if i can get security tapes - he didn't see any of the 'assaults' as he was facing forwards...

slinks

Neil0 wrote:

Had to look twice at you user name after reading what Crazy Lady called you:rolleyes:

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Miroslav

slinks wrote:

that's one reason i want to find out if i can get security tapes - he didn't see any of the 'assaults' as he was facing forwards...

Good Luck in getting them

Although from what you write, it sounds like your b/f should be more supportive of you (He doesn't need to be Lennox Lewis to do what's right and at least support you), I guess only you know him on here, and he must have his good points for you to 'court' him in the 1st place.

I say only you know him on here, but i've seen a few posters that resemble your 'Pollard' family :rotfl:

Sallys_Savings

Sllinks...I'm married to someone I love dearly for the last 20 years....but I'm he would of probably done the same as your oh in the same circumstances.

I like you would of taken it as a way of him not caring etc ...but he just doesnt see it in the same light. Saying that I was ok and against women I could hold my own. But just a little word or a hold of the hand would of made me feel better if I'd been in your situation.

Lack of sleep and not listening I know would definitely be the response of my oh too (he was a nightmare when he worked nights, we'd have a conversation about something and he would swear black and blue 4 hours later that we hadnt lol) So that could be playing a part in your oh reaction.
If he was really tired, he was probably standing there in a bit of a daze.
(I remember my oh watching my daughters footie match in a state like this lol and he couldnt remember most of the game when she commented on it)

I wish you all the best ...give it time and dont give up on your relationship if this is the only thing between you.
I would love my oh to be more supportive and a super hero lol but it just isnt him.
I can only imagine that the whole event has been traumatic for you and your ohs reaction is adding to it. Take it one step at a time, report the people at IKEA (or the cast of little britain ) Getting it off your chest may help in this way too and then have a quiet word with him when you've calmed down yourself.

Sallys_Savings

apologies for my jumbled post...I think I'm more tired than I realised lol

slinks

Miroslav wrote:

Good Luck in getting them

Although from what you write, it sounds like your b/f should be more supportive of you (He doesn't need to be Lennox Lewis to do what's right and at least support you), I guess only you know him on here, and he must have his good points for you to 'court' him in the 1st place.

I say only you know him on here, but i've seen a few posters that resemble your 'Pollard' family :rotfl:

aw bless, i was talking to a friend recently about how sweet it is when someone says 'courting'!!

OH has endless good points, otherwise i wouldn't be with him. we've discussed many times that i want him to be more supportive of me, although it's never been to this extent and because of something that i think is really dreadful.

:rotfl: :T @ 'my Pollard family' - ooh, i wish they were reading this thread!!!!