Now What Would You Do In This Position?

SallyUK

Have done, thanks Daska

Will Steel have to edit their post too, now that I've edited mine?

Sal
x

daska wrote: »

you might like to edit that post to take out a job title or company otherwise he might find himself on your thread...

"very reliable"??

Money_maker

Yes, would pm them.

chirpchirp

Sorry to hear what you have been through.

Just a quick question, when you got your children to change their privacy settings did you get them to hide their friends lists? Many children have the name of their school showing under their name eg "Joe bloggs", "my school 2010." If he looks at their friends list he may find out the name of their school from what one of their friends has put

Emmzi

you don't have to pay for linked in but he would have to "friend" you back to get further information.

Keeping_Motivated

This vile man has obviously still not matured any..as if leaving and without contact or explanation is not one of the worst things you can do to your children but SUDDENLY popping up on facebook could be equally as shocking/damaging for the children.

I am appalled.

OP I cannot begin to imagine what that man put you through as a wife and mother and the long worrying nights you must have had about losing your home amongst other things...I hope 8 years later apart from this shock, that you have built a happy life for the 3 of you.

Take care
KM x

kindofagilr

SallyUK wrote: »

Hello Everyone

Thanks again for all the replies and helpful advice.

Busiscoming2 - I've had a look, but it says just his name and the name of his employer, not the place of his employment - I'm pretty sure he's still working abroad though as the company name is still the same as it was in 2002. I don't recognise any of the names on his friends' list at all.

Tickly1972 - they don't have that sort of information on their accounts, I've made sure they have the correct privacy settings now etc, thanks though for the suggestion.

Kindofagilr - The CSA would never get involved due to the fact that he was working in the Middle East and it was outwith their juridsiction.

Thanks again to everyone for taking the time to post a reply.

Sal
x

Yes but if he is back now they he will be eligable to pay surely?

I am not just some woman who wants to get at men like other posters are implying about some people.

I am from a single parent family, and I watched my mother struggle to raise me and my brother from the age of 1 and 2 without any help whatsoever "dad" didnt pay any CSA and mam couldnt claim benefit (only thing avaibale at time was family credit, and to get it you had to hand in 3 months payslips, well mam always had to do overtime for us to get by therefore wasnt able to claim family credit, we couldnt afford for her not to do overtime just to get family credit if you know what I mean?)

I just hate to see men (or women) leaving their families and not contributing when they should be.

I had a fab upbringing and I love my mam dearly but god it would have been nice for my mam not to have had to have loads of jobs and worked all hours god sent to just get us by

sorry rant over

Steel_2

I've now gone back and edited my post in light of Sal editing hers...

MichH

Sally you sound like a great Mum and have done exactly the right thing by letting the kids make up their own minds.

My Dad left my Mum alone with me and my brother (we were 5 and 3 at the time, now 39 and 37). Dad had access to us 24/7 but chose to leave and not look back. 2 years ago (over 30 years after Dad left) I got an email from a girl claiming to be my half sister, I have since found out I have 4 siblings I didn't know about and have met them.

I have since met with my Dad a few times, but it is a struggle - my Mum never once slated him, but I know he never gave her a penny after he left, nor did he bother with me and my brother. By allowing your kids to make up their own minds they will be grateful for that as they get older, they may or may not want to build a relationship in the future with their Father (my brother doesn't want to know our Dad). I always thought having my Dad in my life would fill the void that I felt was missing, all it has done is prove to me that my Mum did a great job of bringing us up.

I hope that this situation resolves itself without putting you under too much stress, you've had enough of that already! Take care.

SallyUK

Wow, what great people are on this thread and what some of you have been through too.

MichH - that must have been a huuuge shock after all those years for you too and what a great Mum you must have had, you're very fortunate and it's lovely that you realised this as well. She must be very proud of you and your brother. You've also mentioned something that I've wondered about too - are there any relatives out there somewhere. I know I often wonder this about myself, as I was adopted, but then that's another story! lol

Steel - thanks for editing your post.

Kindofagilr - Thank you, I'll mention that to the solicitor when I go see her soon, see what she says about that.

Keeping Motivated - thank you so much for taking the time to post x.

Emzi and Chirp Chirp - thank to you both too, I'll double check their Facebook settings, there's always the chance that something has been missed, isn't there.

Zazen999

Do you have to have the name of the department; surely just the name of the employer will suffice?