am i the only single parent on here

loopy_lass

Prudent wrote:

You have obviously put a lot into giving your daughter a good upbringing in very isolated circumstances. Good luck with the degree.

what a lovely reply .... thank you .... i have put a lot of effort into bringing DD up but even tho i say so myself, she a good kid... so its been worth it, ive just been honest with her and told her when im struggling, when im sad and given her as much help and attention i can without judging her as i realise her generation is very different to mine..

all i can say is keep the lines of communication open, dont judge them and allow them to be themselves, they are not us... seemed to have worked so far..

thanks again xxx loops

A11yson

bestpud wrote:

I am about to seperate after 19 yrs and will be on my own with our 3 children. I'm obviously frightened, even though I know things can't really be worse in the long term, but it's reassuring to hear the good points and know people do manage to move on and enjoy life.

So thanks for making my day a bit lighter,

bestpud

Hiya,

I was on my own for nearly 5 years before I met my gorgeous OH last year - and in the beginning it was sooo tough. Shared custody of my 2 with ex hubby - so that helped - but I'm glad now that I lived through that experience. It has made me stronger, more confident and less compromising for me and my children.

I know it seems like the end of the world right now, but I promise you it will get better and you will make it!!!! :T

Sarah1971

I'm 35 and a single mum to 2 boys now 6 and almost 2. Ex husband left me when our youngest was 10 days old and in special care.

Lifes really tough a lot of the time and I miss having someone round on a permanent basis. I have made lots of new friends since and a few male friends, but I will not let myself get into a serious relationship until I'm totally over my ex and know what I want from life.

Lots of love and luck to all fellow single parents out there
x

kate1976

I've been a single parent ever since son was born 11 years ago, it's been a hard slog but he's a good kid (apart from the odd pubescent mood swings) with glowing reports from school and I'm very proud that I can say I've brought him up alone!

I do get lonely though especially birthdays, christmas and new years, I guess I just miss those special kisses and knowing I have someone there to celebrate with! I do have a male friend who calls once or twice a month and I wish it could develop into something more but I don't think he's the relationship type (I'm not sure I could do the relationship thing either after so long)

Being a single parent is hard work and those that are have all my respect!

TIGs

I think what scares me the most at the minute is if i will ever find anyone else who will make me feel like my ex did if i ever meet anyone at all. Plus will i be able to love them in fear of hurting like i do now???

I suppose its early days yet but hate to think i'll spend the rest of my life on my own.

kate1976

TIGs wrote:

Plus will i be able to love them in fear of hurting like i do now???

Hugs to you tigs, I suppose that is my fear deep down which keeps me from looking for a 'real' relationship, my ex made sure I put my barrier up good and proper and although that was 11 years ago I guess after all he put me through I just can't find it in myself to let it down completely!

Everybody's different though and I'm sure you'll find somebody in time who you feel comfortable enough to let in it's just a case of being patient and gaining more confidence in yourself which I'm slowly beginning to do, I've wasted enough years worrying about hurting anymore, I guess we just need to take risks, Life's too short!

Good luck and I hope you find happiness soon.

bestpud

A11yson wrote:

Hiya,

I was on my own for nearly 5 years before I met my gorgeous OH last year - and in the beginning it was sooo tough. Shared custody of my 2 with ex hubby - so that helped - but I'm glad now that I lived through that experience. It has made me stronger, more confident and less compromising for me and my children.

I know it seems like the end of the world right now, but I promise you it will get better and you will make it!!!! :T

Thanks for the reassurance. I'm on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster at the moment, so it's good to hear it gets better. Glad you've found someone who makes you happy now.

My biggest worry right now is whether my OH will have anything to do with the children - in some ways it might be better if he doesn't, but he is still their dad and I don't know how they'll take his rejection.

As far as a new partner goes - I don't know if this will change somewhere down the line, but at the moment, the thought of ever being in another relationship fills me with dread. It's very early days though, so probably understandable.

Best wishes,

Bestpud

comping_cat

TIGs wrote:

I think what scares me the most at the minute is if i will ever find anyone else who will make me feel like my ex did if i ever meet anyone at all. Plus will i be able to love them in fear of hurting like i do now???

I suppose its early days yet but hate to think i'll spend the rest of my life on my own.

I still have those barriers now, but once i had gotton over the fact that my OH had gone, pulled myself up from where he had left me and decided that i wasnt going to let him win, i was able to grow stronger, and i think a better, happier person. Im 34 now, have been on my own for 7 years in November, and apart from a couple of male friends, ive spent most of it on my own. the reasons ive not been able to stay with anyone has been my own insecurities and those silly old barriers, but, i think im not really old, my children are growing up faster than i want, and one day i will have a life of my own again. I can cope with being hurt, but i wont put my children through it. At the moment i take pride in earning my own money, buying my own house and bringing my children up the best way i can, and all without him, and doesnt he know it!!!!!!
If you want to pm me, or mse, please do, its good in these early days to have people to talk too, just in case you need it!!!!

QuidsInn_2

Hello, another single Mum of 3 here and loving every minute of it.

My kids are happier too and we are lucky that they see their Dad regularly.

From a money saving point of view - its the best thing I have done - My working families tax credit has doubled and I dont have to fill my shopping trolley with the rubbish that he used to eat! I get 25% discount on council tax too! :rotfl:

I did go through a bad patch when my ex kicked me and 3 kids out, but I quickly found my feet and am enjoying life so much. Yes, I would like some passion, but as someone else said, I enjoy sleeping diagonally across the bed and not fighting for the quilt!

I wish you lots of luck and happiness.

Becles

TIGs wrote:

I think what scares me the most at the minute is if i will ever find anyone else who will make me feel like my ex did if i ever meet anyone at all. Plus will i be able to love them in fear of hurting like i do now???

I suppose its early days yet but hate to think i'll spend the rest of my life on my own.

I felt like that too.

When I met my current husband, I wasn't looking for a relationship. I'd chatted to him on the internet, and met him with the intention of meeting a friend who made me laugh for a bite to eat. Once we met in person, it was love at first sight (cliche I know!).

Early days were tough. Sometimes I reacted funny to things he said or did, and he didn't understand why. I felt I had to explain exactly how my ex treated me, and it was hard opening up and telling him about at the stuff I'd bottled up inside, as I'd never told anyone else about it.

Once it was out in the open, he helped me deal with it and put it behind me. Things grew a lot stronger between us, and the relationship is brilliant.

Once you find someone who loves you greatly, he will help bury your past problems and help you move on. It's finding him that is the hardest part!

Hope things work out for you xx