Help me be strong-I cant cope

lisa.m_3

Thanks everyone I'm feeling better today I seem to have got hold of my feelings slightly under control, he came home last night and has gone out already I wanted to check his phone so I could find out whats going on but decided I'm not, even though I was burning to!

Ive eaten a sandwich today which is all ive eaten the past 3 days, I'm trying not to feel guilty anymore and just get on.

I'm gonna have a clean up now and maybe go to devils dyke in a hour or so but havent decided yet, might just go to the park.

Thanks again xxx

Amber_Sunshine

Lisa, tell your child's school about the situation and instruct them not to allow anyone but yourself to pick him up, not even his father (if this can be done). I would be very concerned about the risk of abduction if he is a foreign national, especially as he is about to take a trip to his home country.

pammyj74

you should definitely not feel guilty about any of it.

lisa.m_3

Hi everyone,

today has been difficult he's in bed Ive spent the morning cleaning and have just made lunch then going to take my son to the seafront or library.

My son's been playing nicely and watching cartoons all morning he doesn't really seem to be phased by what's going on.

My husband hasnt spoken to both of us in about two days I feel like I'm walking in limbo.

Anyone have any suggestions of jobs I could do with school hours and term time ?

Mrs_Moc

lisa.m wrote: »

Hi everyone,

today has been difficult he's in bed Ive spent the morning cleaning and have just made lunch then going to take my son to the seafront or library.

My son's been playing nicely and watching cartoons all morning he doesn't really seem to be phased by what's going on.

My husband hasnt spoken to both of us in about two days I feel like I'm walking in limbo.

Anyone have any suggestions of jobs I could do with school hours and term time ?

Hi

Your doing great!! I love seeing how positive you are becoming, and making plans.

Is there any type of job you would like to be doing? I work from home selling stuff on ebay and doing carboot sales but my youngest is 6 months, so I dont have any child free time as such. If there was a particular type of job or career your interested in, you could look at training, or qualifications.

You have your whole life ahead of you, and the world is your oyster. Happier days are only around the corner, you just need to be strong and get focused on what you want from life because anything is possible.

Good Luck, I will reading your thread to see how your getting on.

Just a thought, but when I signed up for an OU course, they gave me the money to buy a laptop.

Counting_Pennies_2

I am sorry to hear your sad news, I know it feels like there is no where for you to turn but gradually you will get some strength back and you will start to cope more and more as each day goes.

Now you said you don't want to upset your son any more, but if you don't know anyone and he is at a ripe age for meeting new friends, then I would consider moving.

Do you get on with your parents, or any other family? If so try to see if there is a possibility of moving close to them. Believe me age 4 is a flexible age, you might feel bad at the moment, but he will settle. So if that is the only thing holding you back from moving don't.

Your loneliness will be harder for him to deal with. If you have alternative options do take them.

In terms of getting back on your feet, I didn't see whether you work or not, are you on benefits, how will you cope financially. These are the key things to get started with. I can't remember where it is but someone will point you in the direction of benefits and entitlements etc.

Take care of yourself, you will have low moments, but take this as your opportunity to work your way through the tough times to make a better life for you.

I read this article yesterday and I thought I would copy it in to give you some hope.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1239818/Lucy-started-decade-lonely-scared-single-mother-Today-blissfully-happy-loving-family-truly-uplifting-New-Year-story.html

MCMitten

I can sympathise totally with what your going through. 4 years ago i was in a similar relationship that was full of daily physical and mental abuse. He also was a controling pratt n didn't allow me to have any friends or contact with my family n like your husband nothing was his fault- it was always me! My confidence was so low that I just accepted what was happening n tried to get through each day walking on egg shells. The police were involved so many times but i was too scared to press any charges. Finally he started drawing my 6 year old into his nasty little world n that gave me the confidence to finally get help from the police- if your husband really loved your child he wouldn't be treating you, or him, in this horrible manor. My son had become withdrawn n constantly upset. I also found the strength to call my mum n tell her what was going on- she was quite upset that i'd not told her before. Your mum will always love you no matter what n she will only want whats best for you n her grandchild. My mum persuaded me to go n stay with her for a while, but the hardest part for me was that my son had just started school n i didn't want to leave my home. I found it difficult but I went to my mums n never went back!

I know it's hard (n very scary) to start over again, but it was the best thing I ever did. I don't cry myself to sleep at night, I work while my son is at school, I have a lovely house n I even learned to drive n got a car! But best of all my son is a happy child again who doesn't have to live in fear of what dads doing to mum. It's one of the toughest things you'll do in your life but is so worth every bit of pain your going through just now.

Like the previous threads state womens aid are a huge support n can help you with all the things you cant cope with just now, they can help you with your finances n with a safe place to stay away from the mental abuse, if that's what you want. If nothing else they can just be there to talk or be a shoulder to cry on. Change your phone number n try not to have any contact with your husband for a while- this will give you time to heal, clear your head n start on building your confidence up.

Make the break before it starts to affect your son- you don't want him growing up to be like his father. Young kids are so adaptable n any changes just now won't affect him.
Stay strong n see it through- NO ONE should put up with what your being put through.

So many women put up with abuse from their partners, be one of the ones who takes a stand n says enough is enough!!! And remember not one woman who has left a relationship like yours has said it wasn't the best thing they ever did!
Make a better life for yourself n your son- trust me you'll not regret it!

Thinking of you. XX

pammyj74

Like I said before, see at your local college and see if they have any courses you can do.

I agree that young children adapt easily. My 7 year old just moved schools and she is doing fine, when threy join new groups they make friends so easy at thsat age.
If you have nothing keeping you there why not move and make a completely new start.

lisa.m_3

got to get through another day now everthing is still so hard,

I keep thinking I cant wait to get to my doctors on monday but at the same time I'm going to be sad because my son is in school for the whole day leaving me on my own with no company.

I dont have no plans today which is going to make it hard Ive got to kepp myself busy.

thorsoak

If your son is going to be in school tomorrow, I would advise you to go to the school, explain the situation to them - especially about your husband about to go to his home abroad - and make sure that everyone knows that you are the only person who can collect your son from school - just in case.

You have hidden your son's birth certificate along with his passpor, haven't you?