Help me be strong-I cant cope

lisa.m_3

daska wrote: »

RISE is local to you.


"Rise, formerly the Women’s Refuge Project, was founded in 1994 and is an independent, registered charity providing services for women, children and young people affected by domestic abuse to help them recover and reclaim their lives. Rise stands for refuge, information, support and education. Rise currently provides services in Brighton, Hove and West Sussex and every year supports over 800 women and families. Rise operates a helpline for anyone affected by domestic abuse:
01273 622 822."

Thanks for this xx

lisa.m_3

frannyann wrote: »

Lisa, I've been a single mum for over 10 years now, it feels scary at first but honestly now I think its been lovely! Not having to worry about another adult in the house meant that I gave my daughter the one to one attention which has meant she has thrived. You're still young and you will regain your confidence and you will find someone who actually deserves to have you in their life!
While it is all a bit scary now, you will get through this and will be a stronger person. x

ETA, I just noticed you are in Brighton, great place full of people living an alternative lifestyle. You will meet lots of other single mums and dads there. Here is a support group in Brighton for single parents: http://spinbrighton.org/default.aspx

Thanks your support means alot, thanks for the link xx

toniq

Lisa u say he is going abroad? if im not prying is he a uk citizen? the reason i ask is that it could be a reason why he is being vague with u, im sorry if i pryed xxxx

lisa.m_3

I dont think I'll end up replying to everybody I think the thread would go on forever but thank you everyone for helping me, I will update soon ?

lisa.m_3

toniq wrote: »

Lisa u say he is going abroad? if im not prying is he a uk citizen? the reason i ask is that it could be a reason why he is being vague with u, im sorry if i pryed xxxx

Yeah he is uk citizen he's been here 10 years, this trip was planned a while ago.

choille

Try & eat & rest & think of yourself & son - don't need to reply.

All the best.

daska

You have a young child to support and protect, if you know in your heart of hearts that he will leave you destitute then take control now, ring the refuge. Your OH is a big boy, he can start over.

the_rottweiler

Lisa sorry you have problems and please take the advice given. I only have on thing to add.
My ex held it over my head that he would take my boys to another country and when I finally kicked him out, he took their passports. (I reported them lost) He didnt carry out his threat as he had nowhere to go
Your ex is in a position to take your son to another country and maybe have family to hide with, so if your son has a passport please hide it

thorsoak

Phone the Refuge, go there asap, taking your son (and laptop!) with you!

Good luck we're behind you.

elisebutt65

Can I ask whether your home is rented or owned? Makes life a lot easier if it's rented!
See if you can get the lease changed so thatit's just your name on it when he's gone and ask you land lord to change the locks for security.

Then you can also get LHA to help with the rent.

If it's a mortgage and in joint or his name then you'll need to see a solicitor asap.
Make sure your son's passport is well hidden and let school etc that he is not to collect him.

One thing though - my ex was horrible the last year of our marriage. He threatened leaving for nearly 12 months and dragged it out as long as he could. In the end I went away and told him I'd changed the lease on the rent to my name only and I expected him to be gone when I got back from a trip with my son to Australia. I then rang up all his family and let them know - and about the bit on the side that had rung me a month before and I said that I expected them to help him move out (obviously not possible in your circs. ) and I would hold him responsible for any damage or missing items. His mum is a bit controlling and she went ape!!!:rotfl: I just snapped after he said he was leaving for the final time and told him to get out and never darken my door again.

Have to say though I got a new bf within a few months and I'm still seeing him once or twice a week 6 years on - I can't do living with anyone now - I love my semi-single parent life and independence way too much but may settle down again when kids have flown the nest.

Oh and hide anything of value - like the laptop, in a very safe place where he can't get it - talk to your neighbours, even if you aren't friendly with them yet and maybe stash some stuff with them?