Death of a friend

[Deleted User]

Hey Jill, I just stumbled upon your thread, I am so sorry for your loss, you have been an amazing friend. I wish you all the best, be kind to yourself, it takes time to grieve.

Errata

Thanks for the update. Best wishes.

Savvy_Sue

Jill_ wrote: »

Sorry I have not been back for a while, I have been busy clearing my friends flat and looking at his old memory box, He lead a really quiet life didn't have much to his name. I also took a week away and went to Cornwall to think about things and get my head round everything.

I am glad you are taking care of yourself as well as sorting things out. Carry on doing that.

Jill_ wrote: »

I've cleared his house and boxed all his stuff up, Although I did burst out crying when his postman handed me a card from his local church.

An entirely normal reaction!

Jill_ wrote: »

I still can't believe he might have known whats going to happen and not tell me

Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. But it wouldn't have changed what DID happen, so I think I can understand why he might have chosen not to tell people.

I know it's not the same, but I had brain surgery a few years ago, and I chose very carefully who I told about it, and when, because I really couldn't deal with 'Oh-no-how-awful-for-you-you-must-be-so-worried' reactions. IF your friend knew he might not live to a ripe old age, he might have felt the same.

Jill_ wrote: »

One thing I have found strange, Barclays are dealing with his estate yet they still mail him letters (and a new card) which I'll be handing into Barclays next time I pass a branch

:rotfl: Nothing about banks is strange to me, the right hand very rarely knows what the left is doing!

However it IS surprising that one of the first acts of the 'dealing with the will' hand wasn't to freeze his bank account, and you would have thought that would stop new bank cards being issued. As well as dropping that card off to a branch, I would ring the 'dealing with the will' people and check they've done that - unless the branch will tell you, which I don't think they should since you're the beneficiary not the executor.

If they haven't yet frozen his bank account, you could point out that for all THEY know somone else has his PIN and could be spending away!

But equally it could be that there's a lag between freezing the account and no more correspondence being sent. Sometimes mailings are prepared WEEKS in advance.

Jill__2

Hey

Thanks for your replies! I am feeling a bit better, things remind me of him, (this sounds really embarrassing) the new Barclaycard advert really does remind me of him, I'm looking after myself more now, I'm eating and sleeping as "Normal" however its strange not going round every week to see him or he come round here. I'm still thinking "Oh I can watch that with..." like I bought the whole Only fools and horses boxset and though I could watch it with my friend, then it hits me later on

As for the bank card I rang up "Premier banking" (What they answered as) and they said the cards expiring are added to another database for sending new ones out as the account is "Frozen" they didnt realise the system had already ordered a new card. I'm to cut through the chip and strip and hand it back to a branch and they'll dispose of it.

Tomorrow is our movie night so I might end up on here teary.

Stephb1986_2

Hi Jill,

I hope your ok. You should put a cracking film on tonight and have a good laugh your friend would want you to.

I'm glad your getting back to "normal" it takes time I know but you will get there.

Thinking of you

Steph xx

Carrera74

I've just read your thread with tears in my eyes. Sorry to hear of your loss. You sound such a fantastic friend. Continue to look after yourself. I'm sure he's with you in spirit xx

Stephb1986_2

Hi Jill,

I was just wondering how you were doing? I hope your ok and taking care of yourself

Steph xx