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Longstanding lack of motivation - how can I break out of this rut?

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  • Primrose
    Primrose Posts: 10,693 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper I've been Money Tipped!
    I've always been a great believer in lists myself. At the beginning of this year I typed out a long list of the domestic/personal tasks which I wanted to be accomplished by the end of this year.

    But like you, I'm a great reader, spend a lot of time on the pc, and am also involved in voluntary work. And when the weather is fine, I procrastinate and do the things I prefer to do, like working in the garden., enjoying the sunshine.

    So my list is broken down with deadline dates to be achieved progressively throughout the year, with a column on the right hand side when I can award myself a self-righteous "Tick" when something has actually been achieved.

    I also recognise that my energy levels are lower in the morning than in the evening so tedious or physically demanding tasks are always tackled immediately after breakfast.

    My paper list is pinned up on the kitchen noticeboard. But I also put tasks which have to be achieved by a certain deadline, like searching out cheaper car insurance, booking the car's MOT, etc. into my Lotus organiser computer diary at the beginning of the year, a month before they need doing, with "repeater-reminders" once a week. It's surprising how these nagging messages which confront me regularly really motivate me to get off my backside and actually do them!

    I think the reality is that most of us lead very busy lives. Few of us achieve everything we set out to do, so we have to award ourselves a bit of slack and not beat ourselves up too much if not everything gets done. Prioritise the really important things which could have a severe impact on your family if they're not done, like making a Will, neglecting to take out life insurance cover, etc. and don't worry if the sideboard is covered in dust!
  • Steel_2
    Steel_2 Posts: 1,649 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    edited 14 January 2010 at 8:00PM
    Hi NewStart2010

    I haven't read all the way through this thread but thought I'd throw a couple of ideas into the pot. Forgive me if these have been brought up already.

    You have a demanding job, so chances are you probably get the stuffing knocked out of you on a daily basis. That doesn't leave room for doing much when you get in and at the weekends because you want to relax. Maybe you're expecting far too much of your body and mind.

    I suffer on and off with lethargy combined with SAD and chronic fatigue and I've found a few things work for me.

    1) All those things on your mind is paralysing it. I spent time writing down ever project I had on my mind, not matter how small, and then made a decision to dispense with a proportion of them.

    Those projects I know I will not do or are just not that into any more (old craft projects etc) I officially 'disband' and recycle on freecycle or ebay. That in itself is amazingly liberating. Letting go - it should be bottled and sold as a cure-all!

    Those projects I know I will do one day but are making me feel guilty right now are boxed up and put in the loft with a date on the side for checking. Then I officially declare "I will not be touching you for the next 3/6/9/12 months" and put them out of my mind. It does work! For example I got married 3.5 years ago and I still haven't put the photos in the albums. I got sick of staring at them lying around so I packaged everything up in a neat box and stored it in the loft. I know I'll do them one day, but it won't be this year. We have a house to finish renovating.

    2) I no longer watch TV and restrict my personal internet access to one hour after 7pm.

    3) I started learning Dave Allen's system of Getting Things Done (GTD). The major turning point for me was a) getting everything out of my head so it was clear b) finding a MAC-based software programme that was based on GTD c) adding all my existing and future projects into it and spending time considering each project and the components of them. I've been using it for about three days (although I work from home so I can juggle and devote some time to getting it up and running) and I'm starting to feel a difference. I have periods of clarity and the tight band around my forehead has gone.

    4) Do you take care of health? Do you drink enough fluid (dehydration can leave you lethargic) and do you ever suffer from the winter blues? What about comfort carbs? Do you eat a lot of those?

    I take a multivitamin/mineral every day and try and intersperse my cups of tea and coffee with glasses of diluted sugar-free juice or water. I eased back on my carbs a few months ago, switching white bread for a nice seedy wholegrain loaf, switching from white pasta and rice to brown, cutting back on sugar, and trying to avoid pastry covered things (which seems to cause me a variety of IBS symptoms anyway). I added two new veggie meals to week's dinners and cut out the meat. I ate big for breakfast, less for lunch and small for dinner. I found my energy increased and I no longer felt tired after meals. Oh and I got reaquainted with Marmite for the B vitamins :D

    5) I make myself go out for a 20 minutes walk a day. On snowy days I take my camera. I get my husband to download the piccies and print the good ones out for me to stick on the wall.

    6) I only do 1 hour of housework a day. No more. And I go like the clappers to get it out of the way.

    7) I take a long dip in the tub to relax with a book and then hit the sack by 11pm. As of this morning, I've starting forcing myself up at 7am now - the SAD would have me still in bed by 10:30am if I let it. And I want to spend some time working on clarifying my projects a bit more.

    Hope some of these help you. I must go...I'm at the end of my internet hour!
    "carpe that diem"
  • Hope everyone has had a slightly warmer day today! Definitley melting here a bit. Written a few more thank you cards from xmas pressies - only a couple left to do. Not done wardrobe yet - am going to break it down into baby steps - it is so awful!

    First am going to go through the floor area - huge and a complete mess......
    Target for MAD - 24:)
  • Steel, many thanks for such an insightful post!

    Re my job - you're right, by the time I get home at 6pm (having picked DD up from school) I'm pooped and definitely not in the mood for housework!

    Re disbanding projects - I like that idea, although I'm not particularly 'crafty' I do have loads of photos that need to be put into an album, and I'm actually looking at the part finished project now :rolleyes:. I think I'll pack it away (having added it to my list of things to do!) so I have it at least no longer cluttering my mind or dining room!

    Re Getting Things Done - an earlier poster recommended this, and I've reserved it from my library. I've looked at various websites and like the look of it - I think it could also help me at work.

    Re my diet - I am the ultimate sugar addict! I know its not good for me, and I do choose complex carbs over simple when preparing a meal, but I just can't say no to sweets & chocolate :( Any ideas?

    Re exercise - I'm waiting for this snow and slush to clear because I want to go back to running - I managed to get to the point a couple of years ago where I could run for an hour without stopping, and felt absolute amazing because of it, but then got injured. I love the sense of achievement in building up my runs, and feeling my body get stronger.

    Re housework - OH is currently taking care of most of this, but I do make sure that I 'shine my sink' a la Flylady after our evening meal, and ensure that the washing is up to date.

    Re TV - I need to work out how to tackle my OH on this one - we sit and watch TV most nights (and of course, I'm quite happy to), but he doesn't like it when I want to do something else - like work on a project, study etc, as he feels that that is 'our time'. However, I can see my life slipping away (as it has for the last 10 years or so) in an endless cycle of working, eating & watching TV, and I don't want that to happen!

    Thanks again for a great post Steel, I appreciate you giving up some of your precious hour online to reply.
  • Did another 30mins or so after work yesterday!!


    * Sort through boxes in spare room & freecycle / ebay / advertise on intranet as appropriate

    * Buy camera case & spare battery for new camera

    * Fix the treadmill (so I can try to get some exercise!)

    * Sort through DVDs and CDs

    [STRIKE]* Sort out DDs wardrobe, in particular top shelf that I have commandeered![/STRIKE]

    * DD to sort out and chuck cuddly toys!

    [STRIKE]* Tidy round in office[/STRIKE]

    [STRIKE]* Sort through papers in office and file[/STRIKE]

    * Action stuff in the 'Action' folder :rolleyes:

    [STRIKE]* Weed out the spare coats in office wardrobe[/STRIKE]

    * Sort through shelves in office wardrobe and get rid of stuff

    [STRIKE]* Reorganise stuff in the main office shelving unit, in particular[/STRIKE]

    [STRIKE]* put magazine fodlers on bottom shelf[/STRIKE]

    [STRIKE]* sort through PC box
    [/STRIKE]
    * Sort through my bedside drawers & organise

    * Buy energy saving thingy for TV

    * Sort out understairs cupboard

    * Sort out kitchen cupboards
  • Newstart

    Sounds like you are on a roll! I did her room - just about killed me - but you know when it is done you just feel great and it is so much easier to tidy. I have done utility room today - I have bagged up outgrown shoes/trainers for recyling - 3 bags of bits for charity shop and two carriers of rubbish for bin from playroom - hurrah.

    Rushing now as school finishes soon.......

    Back later -

    I x

    Wow, hollie, sounds like you're on a bit of a roll too!! You're right, I do feel great that I'm finally getting some of this stuff done - its almost addictive!!
  • lolly1981 wrote: »
    hey...ive done some but not all....cancelled lots of things and sent the letters i needed to send...im still yet to go through my mountain of paperwork...teh washing has had to be put on hold as ds2 has D&V so am spending alot of the time cuddling him as he gets very clingy and washing his bedding poor lil thing :)

    Sorry to hear you're little one is poorly, hope he's feeling better by now.

    And well done on getting some things done - have you thought about my way of dealing with paperwork on post 20 - I'd been struggling for years and years to keep on top of it, and continually felt like a failure, but now, its dead easy!
  • lolly1981
    lolly1981 Posts: 746 Forumite
    he's still quite poorly...very clingy too :(

    i put all my paperwork ina big box....and after a few weeks i trawl througjh it and discover things i shouldve done 3 weeks before lol....i dont know why i cant just put it away or do it when i get it....hmmmmm never mind!
  • LoLo
    LoLo Posts: 545 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts
    Hi all,
    I stumbled across this thread last night whilst I was meant to be doing my uni work. Anyhow, I am another one who feels like I could have wrote your first post.
    I am glad I found the thread as it gave me a little gentle kick up the bum and I am pleased to say that I have had quite a good productive day.
    by no means have I totally sorted everything I want to be am slowly learning to take small steps to get things done.

    Well done on your achievements so far Newstart. Am sure together we can all keep up the motivation.
  • Hello All

    Not much to report today - hospital appointment today for dd and then school so not much time to do things around house. I have done the bottom of the wardrobe though (just recycled most of it into big bags!!)

    Will go through the hanging rails tommorow - mmmmm!

    Going to do childrens files tommorow - these are A4 files that I keep for each child where certificates, awards, newspaper clippings, programmes from Harvest festival, assembleys. carol services etc all go - they like to look at them and it keeps them all neat. I put each sheet into those double sided plastic pockets. Works for me!
    I x
    Target for MAD - 24:)
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