Longstanding lack of motivation - how can I break out of this rut?

newstart2010_2

Hi all

I post on the forums using another user name, but would prefer to keep this issue separate from my other posts.

I have been unmotivated and lacking direction for so long I can't remember. I work full time in a demanding but enjoyable role, and have just been given a sideways move to develop me further, which I'm really excited about. At work I'm seen to be quite dynamic and very organised - in fact, I coach colleagues on time management skills!!

However, at home - the complete opposite. I only do housework sporadically, although my OH has started to do more recently, mainly because I told him I wasn't happy with the way he took me for granted and was thinking of leaving. The washing is always up to date, though I can't remember the last time I tackled the ironing pile!

I have lists of things that should be done - I've not organised the photos from our big holiday last Christmas, much less printed any off, an accountancy qualification I bought 4 years ago sits barely started...

I always leave things to last minute, to the extent that my DD is still owed christmas presents because I didn't get round to ordering things early enough, which makes me feel like the worst mother ever.

I can't say that I don't have enough time, as I've spent about 4 hours on the pc so far today - I just can't be bothered to do anything!!

Does anyone have any ideas on how I can drag myself out of this rut that I've fallen into - I feel my life is passing me by and I can't see how I can sort myself out.

newstart2010_2

bumped cos my original post was so long ago no one will see it!!

Courgette

you could have a look at the flylady post on Oldstyle - that gives me a bit of a shove to get some stuff done around the house. You get told every day what housework you have to do then get stars when completed! :j:rotfl:

Will be following this thread as I have a similar problem (and am now pregnant so have the perfect excuse to indulge it! :eek:)

Dear_Prudence

Maybe start off by setting yourself realistic little targets and make a list, e.g. my ONE thing to do today is iron X number of clothes' or my one thing to do is order this one present online... that might sound silly but maybe it would help to just have little goals to tick off and then you can build up?

I think everyone has this problem in different degrees, even the most organised people constantly feel like they have things they need to be doing!

Also maybe with leisure things you could plan for this time so allow yourself e.g. 1 hour on the PC if that's what you enjoy, then you will feel like you are more in control of it...

Don't know if any of this will help at all but hope you manage to find a solution!

msb5262

Hello OP,
I feel exactly like this - you are not alone!
This is the very reason I'm sitting at the PC...it was really weird to see my own dilemma appear before my eyes.
My sister used to have a similar problem but she found a fantastic book which I know really helped her to change things. When I get round to it, I'll ask her what the title was and get back on here.
MsB

dieselhead

Gosh I could have written that post about my uni work, I work and am doing uni stuff at the same time, I have wasted all 5 days of my time of work and now am dreading seeing my tutor as I haven't got any work to show him.

I simply can't discribe the brick wall that seems to stop me getting on!

Alikay

I'm like this too! I manage myself by making"to do" lists which works very well. Like Dear Prudence, when I'm particularly lethargic (am always bad in January) the lists get more detailed and specific...and could read like this:
1. Iron 10 things
2. Clean bathroom
3. Do banking
4. Peel potatoes
and so on. Sometimes I'm quite motivated so I only need to put the "nasties" on the list like cleaning the oven .

Of course there's always the very odd day when I can't even be motivated to make a list:o ...

Karen_30

I'm the same - i'm trying to have a new 2010 start and find taking small baby steps and achieving one thing a day organisation wise works and then slowly build up. I'd say as someone suggested on an earlier post, make today a day you will clear your ironing.....then think of one tomorrow to achieve.

Good luck x

msb5262

Hello - I found the book (see my post#5)
It's expensive but my sister says she would really recommend it; I'm going to try to get it from the library.
Getting Things Done: How to achieve stress-free productivity, by David Allen.
MsB
PS actually can't be bothered to get from library - will order online instead, thereby wasting money...sound familiar to anyone?

Errata

You have deadlines to meet and a boss on your case at work, and the sack if you prevaricate. All these things are excellent motivators.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

You actually manage your domestic time very well indeed, because you manage to give yourself a lot of 'me' time - quite a good trick.

If you want to be as effective at home as you say you are at work then why not start treating home jobs like work jobs ? Use your project management and risk assessment skils and ensure failures are penalised. You're already in danger of being penalised for not buying your DD's christmas presents - either by her, your OH or yourself, so the penalty for failing her could be doing what you need to do to make it up to her. Use your creativity skills to figure out what that might be.

Good luck, you're going to need it.

aliasojo

Errata wrote: »

How do you eat an elephant?

By proxy, would be my answer. :rolleyes::p:D