Longstanding lack of motivation - how can I break out of this rut?

newstart2010_2

msb5262 wrote: »

Hello - I found the book (see my post#5)
It's expensive but my sister says she would really recommend it; I'm going to try to get it from the library.
Getting Things Done: How to achieve stress-free productivity, by David Allen.
MsB
PS actually can't be bothered to get from library - will order online instead, thereby wasting money...sound familiar to anyone?

Many thanks for this - I've just reserved it online at my local library, and whilst in my account renewed two books that are due back on Tuesday - that'll save me a few pence, I'm always paying fines!!

newstart2010_2

Many thanks to you all for your replies!!

Courgette: I've subscribed and unsubsribed with Flylady more times than I can remember... but just can't get on with it, I'm afraid!!

Dear Prudence: Yes, I know I'm not alone in this, but its been going on too long, I'm starting to get down about it. I like your idea of small targets, and will post something later on what I'd like to achieve in the next couple of days.

msb5262: Thank you, see my post above!

dieselhead: That's why I'll never sign up to an OU course, because I know I'll never complete it

Alikay & Karen_30: Thanks for your replies, I'll post a list later!

Errata: You've hit the nail on the head - clearly I'm incentivised at work, I want to do the best I can, and not lose my job!! I need to think about how I apply my project management skills (I do actually manage projects ) to my home life, thank you for this insight.

OK, so my goal from now til bedtime is to:

1 Swiffer and mop the downstairs flooring (10mins max)

2 Iron 10 items of clothing (20-30mins max)

Many many thanks for your input, I'm feeling a bit more positive!!

Callisto

Another fan of listmaking here! I usually make a weekly list on a Sunday evening and write down the deadlines for completing each. I tend to work on a reward basis, so for completing a task, I 'award' myself time on the internet, watching TV or reading, with a weekly treat for completing everything on the list (although this hasn't happened for about three weeks as there is a letter I need to write, which I haven't done yet!)

With housework, it's got to the point where I just do what I want when I want within reason as I work full time and I'm not going to spend the whole weekend cleaning. My OH is depressed and not currently working - at the moment, he lights the fire/gets the coal in/makes the evening meal, but that is it. Everything else is left to me, unless I specifically tell him what needs doing and he often won't do it anyway.

Therefore I make sure the kitchen/bathroom are clean, washing is done and that the bed is changed regularly. Everything else as and when. I barely iron anything now as I don't need to dress smartly for work and don't see the need to waste more of my weekend doing chores!

I am trying to declutter the house as fed up of the spare room being messy, but I just do a little each weekend. I'm also trying to get fitter, so now devote some time to exercising as well. I've just learned to accept that I can't do everything in the limited time available!

msb5262

Maybe we need an "Eating an elephant in easy stages" thread?

My goals between now and 5.30pm (62 minutes):

1. Prepare the meat and vegetables for dinner

2. Mark my children's handwriting books

3. Look on numeracy website to find some information I need for tomorrow.

4. NOT even look at MSE.

Will report back.

MsB

squirrelchops

My OH and I made an agreement that on a Friday we clean the house so is all doen and we can rest for the weekend. This week it took between us about half an hour to throughly clean kitcehn, including the floor ans sorting the recycling, tidy, dust and do floors in living rooms, do staris and utility and the bathrooms.

As we keep on top of it then it is generally easier than leaving it for ages and having to do a huge clear up. Ironing I must admit we do our own on an 'as and when basis' until I get fed up of the pile and have a blitz.

I find ironing in front of the TV is a good way as you feel you are doing soemthing but also watching TV so you then dont feel guilty by just sitting there!!!!

N.B. I have a HUGE boxful of paperwork that ought to be sorted and filed but hey f**k it!!!! Honestly this is the one thing I cannot findthe motivation to sort out!!!!!!!

caeler

It sounds like you put an awful lot of pressure on yourself. Maybe not doing the ironing straight away and being a little late with gifts isn't the end of the world and the only person who thinks its bad is you? I say this from personal experience.

mrcow

Newstart - you sound like you're bieng terribly hard on yourself.

You don't have to be a supermum (in fact there is no such thing). There's (much!) more to life than an empty ironing pile and up to date cleaning.

You sound like you're doing a really good job at work - so well done for that!

If you are going to make more time - then make time for yourself and your family rather than cleaning - go out, stay in whatever - just enjoying yourselves.

There's more to life than dusting!

newstart2010_2

mrcow wrote: »

Newstart - you sound like you're bieng terribly hard on yourself.

You don't have to be a supermum (in fact there is no such thing). There's (much!) more to life than an empty ironing pile and up to date cleaning.

You sound like you're doing a really good job at work - so well done for that!

If you are going to make more time - then make time for yourself and your family rather than cleaning - go out, stay in whatever - just enjoying yourselves.

There's more to life than dusting!

Thanks mrcow - interestingly, I have had feedback at work that I am very hard on myself if things don't go to plan, and have a tendancy to take on too much because I won't say 'no'.

And believe me, I'm well aware that there's more than life than dusting - the problem is that I waste so much time online or watching tv that I don't feel that I'm achieving anything.

newstart2010_2

squirrelchops wrote: »

N.B. I have a HUGE boxful of paperwork that ought to be sorted and filed but hey f**k it!!!! Honestly this is the one thing I cannot findthe motivation to sort out!!!!!!!

I decided a few months ago to simplify my paperwork / filing system - I bought a box file, labelled it 2009 and shoved everything in it, bar things like insurance docs, tv licence etc. I decided that the amount of time spent worrying about it and finally filing it far outweighed the unlikely event that I'd ever have to refer to anything again!

However, the office is still a mess and another thing that needs to be done...

ali-t

newstart2010, your situation is familiar to many. Personally I only get things done if I set myself goals that I will do x and y before watching tv or going online. TBH I don't put a huge amount of value in cleaning although I like to have a clean house so me for (when I find someone) is to get a cleaner. If you don't like ironing why not hire someone to do it for you?

Does your work give you the opportunity to do overtime? If so, you could do something productive at work and use the money to pay for someone to do the tasks you don't like doing at home. How about paying your daughter to do the ironing?

I think your OP reads as 'normal' don't beat yourself up about it.