am i being "mardy" ?

mrcow

mommyme wrote: »

lol its veen 7 years since I was a teenager! I don't understand how there's a lot of people who are willing to introduce new people to their kids as 'famiily' members without actually knowing the person.oh's sister isn't cloe to dd, dd is 2, she's probably only seen dd 6 times at most. I haven't met the girlfriend - I don't even know her name - they've only been together 2 and a half months. she never seems to settle and keeps jumping partners - if she was introuducing them as friends I wouldn't mind but I think it is so confusing for dd to be told one month "this is aunty xx" and then the following month 'oh me and aunty xx aren't together, this is uncle xx' I know dd doesn't quite understand but she will do one daym

Why are you even getting yourself worked up about it? You said yourself you hardly ever see her. What does it matter what she wants to call herself?

My kids call loads of different people Aunty or Uncle - it's a term of endearment - not a title awarded by some sort of regulation over who married whom first (or didn't as the case may be).

Chill out and enjoy Christmas. You only making yourself look childish and petty - if the whole family have noticed then perhaps it's time to start looking towards yourself for the fault rather than everyone else.

seven-day-weekend

I would not want a casual partner to be introduced as Auntie - she is just the person's friend. However, I would say to the child that so-and-so wants her friend to be called 'Auntie'. but that she isn't really, it's just to be polite.

Other than that I can't really see what the fuss is about here.

I'm always glad when I read these things that I don't have a big family.

paddy's_mum

I don't think there is anything "petty" in the OP's stance at all. I feel that the same sex thing is a red herring - a convenient excuse to hang a row upon rather than admit that they don't like the 'daughter-in-law' nor anything she does.

Surely the issue here is that a young couple are trying to set out ground rules for their life/family, and are being over-ruled by the wider family! Exactly why is an aunt who has seen a child just six times so insistent on forcing the introduction, and at a time and place that she has already been told is neither convenient nor practical?

If this was the typical mother-in-law thread, the OP would be told to put her in her place and stick by what she feels is right.

burnoutbabe

i've never heard such rubbish, of course the person married to your parents sibling is an aunt or uncle?

does anyone actually think they are not, just as not blood relatives?

my "aunt" is 60, been married to my mums brother for 40 years, never thought of her as a lesser relative due to that.

weird.

Morglin

mommyme wrote: »

OH's sister sent DD xmas pressies - She hasnt seen DD for over a year even though she lives 10 miles away - any OH's sis gets a new partner, She is currently with a lady whom we have never met, she wanted to introduce us to her at DD's 2nd birthday party and me and OH said no, could they come before so we could meet her rather than try and talk when theres 20 odd kids running around. Anyway this caused up roar with OH's family and we was essentially disowned, called some crappy names and DD never had any of OH's family at her party. Thngs got petty - They only rang OH the day before a funeral to tell him his great aunt had died and he was expected to turn up, and other things like that. Anyway, OH's sis has introduced her girlfriend to my DD as "this is your aunty xx" which im not happy about. And no - not because its a same sex relationship before any one asks. I get annoyed when my friends say to their kids "Aunty xx is here to see you" when ive gone to visit - its the same as if an uncle remarries, I wont call his new wife as "aunty" but rather just her name. The other issue i have is that OH's sis doesnt stay in relationships very long. Mentioned to OH and he has texted his sister saying "can you not introduce people to DD as "aunty / uncle" as we dont this" and we havent had a reply. OH has stood by me but has said "do you think we are being a bit mardy?"

Are we?

You all need to loosen your corsets and concentrate on the important things in life - it doesn't matter what your kids call her, (why are you concerned??) and introductions should be made at a quiet time, although it's her business how long she stays in relationships.:rolleyes:

Concentrate on the important things in life.;)

Lin

paddy's_mum

In this day and age of fluid relationships, don't you earn the title auntie by years of constancy and kindness? A man might be a biological father but some of them sure as heck don't deserve the honour and affection that goes with the word Daddy.

By what law or tradition has the biological aunt (of the child in the OP) the right to force her latest lesbian bedmate upon the OP and her family and friends at so inappropriate a venue as a 2 year old's birthday party .. or do others believe that the right place to introduce the pole dancing girlfriend you started dating last week to your grandmother is at your uncle's funeral?

Nothing against pole dancers or grandmothers! Just trying to point out that the child's wider family need to consider the feelings, and perhaps prejudices, of people other than themselves.

burnoutbabe

paddy's_mum wrote: »

By what law or tradition has the biological aunt (of the child in the OP) the right to force her latest lesbian bedmate upon the OP and her family and friends at so inappropriate a venue as a 2 year old's birthday party
.

bringing a new partner to a childs birthday sounds a nice low key way of introducing a new partner to your family?

sounds like you have issues with gay people though?

Morglin

"In this day and age of fluid relationships, don't you earn the title auntie by years of constancy and kindness? A man might be a biological father but some of them sure as heck don't deserve the honour and affection that goes with the word Daddy.

By what law or tradition has the biological aunt (of the child in the OP) the right to force her latest lesbian bedmate upon the OP and her family and friends at so inappropriate a venue as a 2 year old's birthday party .. or do others believe that the right place to introduce the pole dancing girlfriend you started dating last week to your grandmother is at your uncle's funeral?

Nothing against pole dancers or grandmothers! Just trying to point out that the child's wider family need to consider the feelings, and perhaps prejudices, of people other than themselves."




I dunno - I never told my kids to call anyone 'aunt' or 'uncle' (even relatives) because I found it very outdated, but in the great scheme of things, does it matter?

Children have the attention span of gnats, and won't be affected by whatever anyone is called or whether they share a bed.:rolleyes:

Life is a bit short for this.

If any relatives are prejudiced/homophobic, perhaps they should be dealing with it.

Lin

venus1978

My husband of ten years has three neices and nephews. I have one nephew My Nephew refers to him as uncle and rightly so he is family and his uncle.

My husbands neices and nephews do not call me aunt, they have been told not to as I'm not family and I find it so hurtful, its silly but it does hurt.

Neither DH or I have ever been married before.

Curious_George_2

burnoutbabe wrote: »

i've never heard such rubbish, of course the person married to your parents sibling is an aunt or uncle?

does anyone actually think they are not, just as not blood relatives?
weird.

does a new girlfriend or boyfriend of only a few months automatically become auntie or uncle though? thats whats the OP is asking opinions about...
what she decides to call people in her family who are married to her uncles is totally up to her.

My DD calls one person who is not "family" aunty and always has done, because she is a great friend of mine from before DD was born and always will be my friend... so she was given this honourary title, its a term of endearment for us...not a name give out randomly to any tom !!!!!! or harry that wanders into our lives for 5 minutes,
on the other side of this, DD's only blood relative aunt has totally ripped the family apart and is now only known collectively (with her unknown husband) as 'the germans'