am i being "mardy" ?

Curious_George_2

venus1978 wrote: »

My husband of ten years has three neices and nephews. I have one nephew My Nephew refers to him as uncle and rightly so he is family and his uncle.

My husbands neices and nephews do not call me aunt, they have been told not to as I'm not family and I find it so hurtful, its silly but it does hurt.

Neither DH or I have ever been married before.

thats ridiculous! you have been married 10 years and they still dont accept you as family?
personally that would be a side of the family that gets no contact and gets called some choice names indeed!
but then... im harsh with my family... they pee me off!

venus1978

Curious_George wrote: »

thats ridiculous! you have been married 10 years and they still dont accept you as family?
personally that would be a side of the family that gets no contact and gets called some choice names indeed!
but then... im harsh with my family... they pee me off!

I just igonore that part of my husbands family and its not the kids fault, I wouldn't want them not to have anything to do with DH just because their parents are being difficult with me.

bestpud

paddy's_mum wrote: »

In this day and age of fluid relationships, don't you earn the title auntie by years of constancy and kindness? A man might be a biological father but some of them sure as heck don't deserve the honour and affection that goes with the word Daddy.

By what law or tradition has the biological aunt (of the child in the OP) the right to force her latest lesbian bedmate upon the OP and her family and friends at so inappropriate a venue as a 2 year old's birthday party .. or do others believe that the right place to introduce the pole dancing girlfriend you started dating last week to your grandmother is at your uncle's funeral?

Nothing against pole dancers or grandmothers! Just trying to point out that the child's wider family need to consider the feelings, and perhaps prejudices, of people other than themselves.

This has nothing to do with her being called 'aunt'. This post is about your prejudice!

Why on earth can't a lesbian attend a child's birthday party?

And what the hell have pole dancers got to do with it?

Assuming someone had a new girlfriend and they were a pole dancer by trade, there is no reason why they could not meet the grandmother at a funeral if that happens to be the first time they are out together in the company of the family. What job she does would make no difference.

Just like the partner being a lesbian would make no difference to the child's party!!

I'm assuming others would not know she has had several partners this year and the children would not care so it is just about them being a same sex couple!

Your post is ignorant and offensive and should not be allowed on these boards imo!!

Mips

Why would your daughter see your OHs sisters lady friends as anything other than friends.. or more people to fuss over them

Seriously... I am sure the kids are more interested in their presents and Cake.

I think you are clinging onto something/anything just to make an issue of it... and really, this is your husbands family. It's wise to put up and shut up in my opinion, I had to put up with listening to guff before .. I just plaster a smile on and say 'oh really' and 'thats nice' whilst am thinking 'oh shut the !!!! up you miserable old cow'

Curious_George_2

I cant believe people are so hung up on the lesbian side of this!
talk about the pc brigade out in force!
there was nothing in the OP to suggest she didnt approve of her sisters choice of partners (but that she had noticed they dont stick around for long... and we ALL know people who change partners quicker than most people change pants, thats hardly a trait that straight people dont have!)
all she said was she thought it was better not to meet her new partner during a birthday party with 20 screaming kids running about...
i dont know about any of you but ive held parties like that and i dont get time to sip a drink or hear my own thoughts let alone have a get to know you chat when im meeting someone for the first time!

I cant help but think the replies on this thread would be very different if we were talking about the tradtional girl / boy relationship...

Mips

Curious_George wrote: »

I cant believe people are so hung up on the lesbian side of this!
talk about the pc brigade out in force!
there was nothing in the OP to suggest she didnt approve of her sisters choice of partners (but that she had noticed they dont stick around for long... and we ALL know people who change partners quicker than most people change pants, thats hardly a trait that straight people dont have!)
all she said was she thought it was better not to meet her new partner during a birthday party with 20 screaming kids running about...
i dont know about any of you but ive held parties like that and i dont get time to sip a drink or hear my own thoughts let alone have a get to know you chat when im meeting someone for the first time!

I cant help but think the replies on this thread would be very different if we were talking about the tradtional girl / boy relationship...

If that were the case, why did we need to know what sex the partners were?

She could have mentioned the OHs sisters partners without saying what sex they were

bestpud

Curious_George wrote: »

I cant believe people are so hung up on the lesbian side of this!
talk about the pc brigade out in force!
there was nothing in the OP to suggest she didnt approve of her sisters choice of partners (but that she had noticed they dont stick around for long... and we ALL know people who change partners quicker than most people change pants, thats hardly a trait that straight people dont have!)
all she said was she thought it was better not to meet her new partner during a birthday party with 20 screaming kids running about...
i dont know about any of you but ive held parties like that and i dont get time to sip a drink or hear my own thoughts let alone have a get to know you chat when im meeting someone for the first time!

I cant help but think the replies on this thread would be very different if we were talking about the tradtional girl / boy relationship...

If the OP is so concerned about her child getting attached to the latest partner and really wants to avoid this happening, you'd have thought she'd prefer they came to the party as her dd would hardly know they were there and certainly wouldn't have time to get attached.

By the next time she met it would be a different one by the seem of it and her dd would probably be none the wiser.

But no, the OP would rather she had time to get to know her in a quiet environment... :think:

Bit of a contradiction, don't you think?

And as for being PC - paddysmum made comments that are out of order, or do you think it was ok to say that?

poet123

A two year old would have no idea/care even less if a lady at a party was an "auntie" or a "lesbian".

It would have been an ideal opportunity for you to meet the partner in a low key way, much better than all sitting round making small talk and trying not to say the wrong thing.

robpw2

to be honest does it matter what titles we give to our loved ones and their partners ? in families it should be decided what we are going to call eachother and be happy my partner is uncle matty to my neices etc but we are all happy .

maybe the op should talk to her sister and convey her reasons as to why she doesnt want this title to be used and then its clear understanding

robpw2

poet123 wrote: »

a two year old would have no idea/care even less if a lady at a party was an "auntie" or a "lesbian".

It would have been an ideal opportunity for you to meet the partner in a low key way, much better than all sitting round making small talk and trying not to say the wrong thing.

:t:t:t:t:t:t