Cross-stitch cafe 2010

Bubbles911

nope, I did it as 2 posts then copied the 2nd one into the 1st!

chickywiggle

Bubbles911 wrote: »

nope, I did it as 2 posts then copied the 2nd one into the 1st!

ahhhh clever!!!

Simac

Hiah, just a flying visit to send big hugs to those who need them and congrats to everyone who has finished their challenges! I'm still trying to do the bookmark but it's soooo boring! Hopefully with the last day of the challenge being a Bank holiday I might just scrape in.

Bubbles, if I finish my May challenge in time, please can you put my June challenge as . . .

No 4 Simac - To complete my letter U for the Quilt, and to try to finish 1 A4 page of Nightmare before Christmas.

OK OK I know its optimistic seen as I am probably the least motivated person on this forum but I'll give it a go :rotfl:

*Louise*

Ohhh - I am just back from hospital - my sister had a little boy, 9lb 1oz (first baby - omg) he is absolutely gorgeous, even though they haven't decided on his name yet.

So I REALLY need to get the afghan finished....I haven't done anything on it for ages, been too busy working on my house picture Got hubby and I stitched now, but am going to put it aside until the end of the month so I can try and complete my May challenge - made harder because we are going to be decorating for the next week as well

Ah well, I can but try!

chickywiggle

*Louise* wrote: »

Ohhh - I am just back from hospital - my sister had a little boy, 9lb 1oz (first baby - omg) he is absolutely gorgeous, even though they haven't decided on his name yet.

So I REALLY need to get the afghan finished....I haven't done anything on it for ages, been too busy working on my house picture Got hubby and I stitched now, but am going to put it aside until the end of the month so I can try and complete my May challenge - made harder because we are going to be decorating for the next week as well

Ah well, I can but try!

congratulatiions Auntie *Louise*

Bubbles911

BIG NEWS I have just emailed my story of the Angel off to Hannah at the world of cross stitching! I told a white lie and said that I did the conversion as it sounds better. Feel bad for admitting that. Anyway as you get a mention here it is (I removed the photos as you have already seen them):

In September 2009 I had a nervous breakdown and attempted suicide. Looking back, it had been a long time coming, I was struggling to cope with constant pain I was suffering from since a car accident in 2000 and felt undervalued at work, then when I had a large falling out with a friend which put a lot of other friends in an awkward situation and left me isolated everything just became too much. I spent 9 months writing letters for people I loved and putting something that belonged into the envelopes for them to remember me by. Looking forward seemed so hard and when I decided to end my life I felt elated, it was like I had this big secret and anything that happened no longer mattered. Old friends would encourage me to join swimming classes with them and I would refuse, a little voice in my head would say what’s the point when you wont be here to finish the classes, every time my brothers would come to visit I would sit watching my nieces and nephews playing and feel sad that I wouldn’t be there for them in the future but nothing took away the excitement I would feel when I would think about not having to live this endless stream of painful and lonely days.

It didn’t go the way I planned, somehow a stranger knew what I was doing and called the police, I begged them to leave me, telling them I couldn’t cope with the pain but obviously they couldn’t leave me. I was admitted to hospital and assessed by a psychiatrist. During the 9 months I planned my death I didn’t once think what would happen if it didn’t work. I near enough destroyed my parents. I was discharged after 1 night with monitoring from a Crisis team who were nice but I found it hard to talk about how I felt, I was convinced it all came down to my physical pain and if that was cured it would all be ok. I found it hard to look to the future, I could only look from one day to the next and not commit to anything. I didn’t like going outside incase anyone I knew saw me and saw what I had become because even I didn’t recognise me when I looked in the mirror.

One of the crisis workers suggested I start sewing to focus me on something and my mum said how I used to enjoy cross stitch which is something I had learned when I was 6 and continued to stitch until my late teens but then lost the bug. They suggested I might find stitching therapeutic but I didn’t feel up to it. I went through months of just living in limbo but then when shopping saw Cross Stitching issue 162 and decided as a surprise I would stitch my mum one of the mothers day cards in there. I really caught the bug again.

I spoke to my Dad about wanting to stitch a larger project and asked if he could buy everything needed for me to make a special design for my mums birthday in June. He agreed that he would buy the equipment and I would stitch it then it would be a joint present, then I just had to chose the design. My Mum is called Rose so when I came across “Angel of the New Dawn” by Mirabillia it seemed ideal, as it could symbolise a fresh start from everything we had been through. I have since been diagnosed with bipolar and some days have been so hard and I have been so irritable yet my mum has always been there, at times I have been horrible to her not intending to be. I wanted her to know that a New Dawn would come, maybe not today or tomorrow but it would come and we would be happy again. This design seemed so perfect with the double meaning of what it symbolised as well as New Dawn being a Rose the same as her name. There was just one snag, the design was in blue and we didn’t have a room the colour would fit in with but I had my heart set on that design. So I decided to do something risky, I read up on the internet and discovered how to convert colours and changed them all to shades of red. I had no idea how it was going to turn out but it just felt right.

I was so scared and intimidated when it all arrived, yet I also felt an excitement I had forgotten existed. With every stitch I became more determined to see it through. I started it on the 2nd March 2010 and my Mums birthday was the 12th June so I knew I was on a tight deadline. I would often be up until 2am, sometimes 5 or 6am and put every ounce of love I had in every stitch. I had discovered a thread about cross stitch on Money Saving Expert and built up a good group of friends there and we would have monthly challenges and post out progress every weekend and encourage each other when we hit a snag. I mentioned I didn’t know what I would do when the Angel was finished and they took it upon themselves to send me patterns, aida, kits and threads which they did not want. They restored my faith in human nature. Some days I felt like throwing it away and never looking at it again but they talked me round and told me to think of what it symbolised for my mum after everything we had been through and I would find the patience and enthusiasm to stitch again.

The more the Angel took shape the more confident I got in my stitching ability and I changed the wings to being in full metallic threads despite the fact I have always hated metallics. I started being able to see past the Angel, be able to list things I wanted to stitch, even planning to stitch coasters for everyone for Christmas. I could see a future for myself even if it only was planning what I wanted to stitch, for the first time in a year I wanted to be here – and that was because of stitching the Angel.

I finished the angel on the 15th May and as I finished adding the last bead I felt proud and happy but I also felt sad. The Angel had been what had driven me to get out of bed in the morning and I didn’t quite know what to do with myself now she was finished. I am now stitching Summer Music by Elsa Williams which I saw advertised in World of Cross Stitch and someone on Money Saving Expert kindly donated to me. Although I enjoy stitching it I don’t think anything I ever stitch again will live up to the Angel, when showing it on Money Saving Expert one of the posters said that she didn’t normally like Angels but that there is something about her and every stitch glimmers with love. I like to think that’s true and if I ever find myself feeling such despair again I will just go and sit in front of the Angel and remember how she made me start hoping for the future and how I’m so lucky to have a real Angel in the form of my Mum.

I know a lot of people with mental health problems find relief in stitching and I hope my story inspires someone to not go through it alone. I love World of Cross Stitch and can’t wait for it to drop on my door mat each month.

Bubbles911

*Louise* wrote: »

Ohhh - I am just back from hospital - my sister had a little boy, 9lb 1oz (first baby - omg) he is absolutely gorgeous, even though they haven't decided on his name yet.

So I REALLY need to get the afghan finished....I haven't done anything on it for ages, been too busy working on my house picture Got hubby and I stitched now, but am going to put it aside until the end of the month so I can try and complete my May challenge - made harder because we are going to be decorating for the next week as well

Ah well, I can but try!

Congratulations Louise!

chickywiggle

OMG Bubbles, I REALLY hope that gets published, you almost had me in tears......

maria_and_the_imps

congrates louise and well done bubbles i really hope it gets published and you are so brave to put how you felt into words xxx

*Louise*

Bubbles - I SO hope you get that published, what a heartfelt story, let us know if you hear from them

(((Hugs)))

xxx