MSE Parents Club Part 9

ManOnTheMoon

got-it-spend-it wrote: »

Just to add to the pro-men side of things, I think my OH has taken to this parenting lark far better than I have. He is devoted to Henry, so supportive of me, even when I am totally neurotic and unreasonable and I know we really complement each other. I couldn't have got through the pregnancy or the early days of Henry's life without him. Plus he let me have a lie in today . having said all that I am just as likely as anyone else to come on and moan about useless OHs when I'm having a bad day!

On the other hand, my Dad is a complete emotional cripple and utterly uncommunicative so I can see both sides of it. I really, really hope that Henry will take after OH not the men in my family.

MOTM- I'm sorry no-one remembered to ask about the disciplinary. To be honest I struggle to remember everything I am supposed to do in my life, let alone everything in everyone elses so I need people come on and report back. I am very interested in these things that are important to everyone on here, I just don't have the mental capacity to remember them all! Be grateful that males avoid the dreaded baby brain....it is a dreadful thing to those it afflicts.

I think i'm the opposite. I'd never bad mouth my partner, even on a bad day and even if I did for some strange reason, i'd feel the need to apologise to her, on here, where she never comes :rotfl:

Don't be sorry, I never expected a reply. I miss so much myself and know how fast the thread moves and that my life is full and busy. I was basically saying, I just didn't feel up to posting about it. The week i've had, if I had posted and it was ignored, possibly wouldn't make me feel any better I have no right to expect anyone to be interested, and I don't.

Trust me, I have a brain that saps all the time

BeenieCat wrote: »

I was 17 when i had my DS, and a single mother.

You'd be amazed at how people think it's okay to be blatant in their disapproval, and assume you're a chav slapper who will never work and belongs on jeremy kyle.

I used to thrive on proving them wrong, so i quite liked it that there was these sweeping generalisations about teenage mothers - instead of being upset that people assumed that way, i loved that i was better than expected. One old granny in town when i had my work suit on, commented on why my mother left me babysitting when i'd been to work all day :rolleyes: I thought - wut? Do i look 12? lol

Well, it's an admirable stance and I do thrive on being good at what I do when under fire from folk in real life.

Just to add to my bad week, I think i'm having a crisis with my own emotions :rolleyes:

feelinggood wrote: »

I think almost every feels judged. I know I've felt judged in real life and online for having a baby despite my Mental Health Problems. Very few people fit the 'ideal' and I think everyone feels looked down upon for some reason - wether it be working, not working, single, too many kids, spoilt only child, illness, bottlefeeding, late weaning, CIO, co-sleeping etc.

Well, it's clear to all of us here that you are a good mother. Plenty of mothers who don't get labelled with 'mental health' could take note from you and the way you parent your boy in such a good way.

SusanC_2

ManOnTheMoon wrote: »

Bruno probably has taken it the right way (thanks for making me look worse Bruno) maybe i'm just used to the single dad bolliocks and i'm ready for the fight before it's begun

I can understand given your situation why you might be more sensitive - everyone has their hotbutton topics. (Or at least I do and I'm sure a lot of people do.)

SugarSpun wrote: »

So I do get frustrated with him, but I know he's trying and that it's simply that his way of trying is not the same as mine.

I have that problem - I keep expecting him to be another one of me but he isn't. (Which is actually a good thing as he does lots of good/useful things which I can't/don't/never thought of.)

ManOnTheMoon

money_maker wrote: »

OK, this is really upsetting me now. I think everyone has got the wrong end of the stick

No need to be upset. Healthy debate and all that. After all it's me against you lot.

I wish I hadn't commented now. I didn't even comment aggressively, just pointing out that we aren't all the same. I didn't realise I was not allowed a voice, but if I do comment in future, rest assured it's not aggressive.

Enjoy the rest of your Birthday.

ManOnTheMoon

SusanC wrote: »

I can understand given your situation why you might be more sensitive - everyone has their hotbutton topics. (Or at least I do and I'm sure a lot of people do.)

Thank you for understanding.

Anyway, I wouldn't be brave enough to say 'most women'. Not with you lot

feelinggood_2

ManOnTheMoon wrote: »

After all it's me against you lot.

I really don't think I should reply to this. Hopefully another one of 'us' can reply in a more calm and constructive manner.

Glamazon

morning

MOTM - Thanks for your PM, I'm glad it worked out OK but am sorry 2 of your girls are ill. Please don't stop posting, I enjoy reading what you are all up to

mookie - things have got rather heated lately, hope things die down now so you post more!

fed Jack at 10pm, he woke @ 2.30am, don't know why so came in our bed, he then woke @ 5am & 6.30am but not for food he took 2ozs @ 8am and then slept til 10.30am! Does that count as going roughly 12hours???? Might tank him up this afternoon so tht he has a bottle around 8.30pm and see how long it lasts him.

right busy day of cooking ahead, haved written a list of jobs for the week so will do while mince is cooking.

My_Fathers_Daughter

SusanC wrote: »

I have that problem - I keep expecting him to be another one of me but he isn't. (Which is actually a good thing as he does lots of good/useful things which I can't/don't/never thought of.)

Susan and SS I was thinking the exact same thing yesterday - DH is not another one of me and I shouldn't expect him to be so. I LIKE the fact that there are certain things that DH doesn't do and that moulds our relationship with our son.

Benjamin is at that stage now where he can choose which parent he prefers for a particular part of his care and I LOVE the fact that when he is really upset and crying he wants me. If DH was another me, Benjamin might choose him instead

3onitsway

SeptemberBaby wrote: »

3, you allow V on the floor?!? :eek:;)

xx

And she's even allowed to suck the dogs ear for a treat occasionally! :rotfl::rotfl:

BeenieCat wrote: »

I was 17 when i had my DS, and a single mother.

You'd be amazed at how people think it's okay to be blatant in their disapproval, and assume you're a chav slapper who will never work and belongs on jeremy kyle.

I was about to say similar. I was older, 29 before I was a single mother of two, but the stigma was still about. People used to looked shocked that I worked rather than hanging around town (after Jeremy Kyle of course!) with my children munching on Greggs sausage rolls and bottles of tea! :rotfl:

When I was at little school, a very, very long time ago, I was the only child in my class who didn't have a dad! (how times change!) My Nan wouldn't let me have free school dinners because that would mean everyone knew my secret! :rotfl:

Things have changed a bit over the years - but not enough!

Without sounding patronising, I do think single dads are viewed in a better light than single mums, iykwim? But probably because it's more acceptable/usual in society for a Dad to !!!!!! off than it is for a Mum.


Also, having a disabled child myself, and in my experience and opinion, I agree with MM. I remember some professional involved in DS's life when he was a toddler telling me the incredibly high statistics of the amount of couples with a disabled child who separate! (Looking on the bright side! :rolleyes: I was still with Ex at this point). And because in most families it is the Mum who does all of the running around with appointments it is usually the Mum who is left with the child.

money_maker wrote: »

I think its harder for men to come to terms with though. Not in a bad way, but mums tend do deal with ''issues'' better than dads. I guess he always just assumes everything would be OK in the end ..

Chris keeps telling me there is nothing wrong with Dylan, he is just a bit slower developing, but I am not so convinced ... he is definately still in the denial stage ..

MM you could be describing my Ex. He wouldn't accept anything was wrong. He had an almighty fall out with his sister when she suggested to him that something might be wrong.
I liked to think everything would be ok - but I was also more prepared in case it wasn't.


Anyway - enough of all this depressing talk. Go and have a lovely day, a relaxing massage, and enough Vodka to numb your bum for later.

aless02

SusanC wrote: »

I have that problem - I keep expecting him to be another one of me but he isn't. (Which is actually a good thing as he does lots of good/useful things which I can't/don't/never thought of.)

Ooo, yes, really struggled with this one yesterday. DH was off and I asked if he could "mind" Finn yesterday (as in, be the one who picks up when he cries, changes him, etc.) to give me a break. I kept getting really grouchy with him because when he does stuff with Finn he's always saying "help help!" and I can go and help him, whereas when I'm home with Finn without him I don't get that luxury IYSWIM? Guess I wanted him to get a taste of what I deal with, which is a wee bit spiteful, but was just frustrating as it defeated the whole purpose of him taking charge. That's just how he is though, and I know I have to genuinely leave the house to get a real 'break' (which I will do next time).

Anyway, he's generally lovely and even when he misses the mark I know 95% of the time he's at least trying.

Glam - sorry Jack was a wakey baby! maybe you guys can get a nap today?

happy a great birthday mm!

Sami_Bee

angela6834 wrote: »

Spag Bol in the slow cooker....I hate spag bol from a jar and much prefer making my own. I think from what i know that this has to be left a few hours for the flavours to taste their best. I brown the mince, then stick everything in the slow cooker. Mine is huge so i can make about 6 batches for 3 of us and then use these for chilli, lasagne etc. It is the best bolognaise ive tasted.

if you do say so yourself Jamie O has a bol recipe that calls for long slow cooking in the oven, BIL made it once and it was lush so that would be good in a SC I assume

on the cup I believe it is important to intruduce the cup by 6mths not for them to actually be able to work it, if she's better with an open cup then why not try her with a doidy cup or that amadeus 360 contraption that I hate but others love or a straw

chopsticks wrote: »

Sami - I know this was aimed at Glam, but what a good idea for freezing the juice. We've been buying the juice and I was at the amount of sugar in it. I've been diluting it loads as Caitlin plain refuses to take water (although I'm still working on it)

I got the idea from Weezl's USDA thread that she told me not to bother reading - silly weezlie aparently you can buy frozen juice concentrate in the US.

we strted to tackle Christopher's apaulingly late bed time this weekend and last night got him settled at a decent hour so he dragged me out of bed at 8:30 this morning - god I'm sleepy!! doesn't help that Edgar wakes me a million times a night at the mo too, woe is me