MSE Parents Club Part 9

weezl74

redmel1621 wrote: »

Thanks Weezl...It wasn't 'exactly' those things that he said, but something along the lines of one. I just thought I would try not to be too specific.

But would you carry on doing the 'thing' anyway and carry on as you were, or would you try to prove the criticism wrong, or (as I have effectively done) say go screw yourself (sorry for the bad language)

Obviously my way is not the ideal and will cause hostility, possibly worse, in the long term but that is just the way I feel....

I guess it would depend if I was doing the thing 'for' him in the first place. If it was, say cooking, and DH said 'you're a rubbish cook' I'd probably try a bit to see what he'd like differently, but if he said it repeatedly or once really horribly I think I'd probably say: 'Enjoy finding lots of delicious recipes for yourself and cooking them. The kitchen needs to look as I left it when you're done and your weekly budget is £20 '

If it was something I did for wider reasons: childcare, going to work... then I guess I'd carry on but I'd make it clear how his criticism was affecting my performance: (not that I think you are performing badly IYSWIM) like: 'the women who give the best start to their children are the ones who feel the most support and encouragement from family and friends, research shows. What do you think you could do more of to help me be better darling? '

:rotfl:

I'm not surprised you feel like giving up though. I only have 1 baby and am pregnant like you, and I HATE it if DH criticises me in any shape or form. I am nasty and cold and grumpy until he relents (naughty weezl!)

aless02

morning - see I wasn't the only with a rough night. After going 4.5 hrs before waking up for his 1st night feed, Finn then decided he wanted it every 1.5-2hrs after that.

will catch up in a tic, but need to shower while he's still sleeping as my dad should be in from the airport within a couple hrs.

*hugs* to Beenie...*hugs* to Mel...can't help on the older babies q Weezl, sorry...morning to all else hanging about

weezl74

Interesting about the sick guys, thanks. It's never really occurred to me to ask friends whether it's normal before!

I guess we've never thought of reflux cos he's never minded lying down and I know that's a sign?

SB, hiya The mammoth list is slightly less mammoth but a few tasks have been rolled over for today :rotfl:. Was Jamie BF or FF SB? Sorry, I know I should know that!

weezl74

oooooh SB, I know I've been meaning to ask you this for ages and never manage to ask when you're on! You and DH regularly have some time off together in the week right? How does he create this work-wise? Like is he part time, or has he earnt a flexiday or.....?

Just intrigued as it's something I'd like if we can afford it

searching_me

morning .. mel my reaction is philip ever said that would be do it your f***ing self then .. you do the cleaning, cooking and everything else i do and see how great you do ... but thats just me ...

really need to sort the house out but i'll do it tomorrow as i start a huge declutter then so may just chill and go through some threads x

BrunoM

weezl74 wrote: »

Interesting about the sick guys, thanks. It's never really occurred to me to ask friends whether it's normal before!

I guess we've never thought of reflux cos he's never minded lying down and I know that's a sign?

SB, hiya The mammoth list is slightly less mammoth but a few tasks have been rolled over for today :rotfl:. Was Jamie BF or FF SB? Sorry, I know I should know that!

Just to be clear Weezlie, I have no idea if vomit at that level "must mean reflux" or anything like that - I just spent quite a time looking at vomiting symptoms and such earlier in E's life, and I don't think I heard of anything or any babies who threw up proper sick regularly at that age, who didn't have reflux, iyswim. There might be lots of reasons and some of them might be perfectly non-traumatic. If there are none of the other symptoms of reflux then... yeah

SeptemberBaby_2

Weezl, both were FF (Cow & Gate). Good luck with List Part II!

DH visits clients quite often so arranges for it to be mutually convenient! . He does a little bit from home too and we also meet near his office quite alot for lunch when my parents have the children.

Part time? I think I would have to go back to work! :eek::rotfl:;)

xx

harley1

redmel1621 wrote: »

Question, if someone (close to you) told you that you were crap at cooking/keeping the house clean/in bed/raising the kids, would you try to prove them wrong or would you think F..k you then and not do those things they said you were crap at. Even though they said them in an argument so 'possibly' only saying it to hurt your feelings??

Mel x

Well, I was going to offer you the benefit of my opinion;) but I'm probably single for a reason so my retort would most likely leave you in the same boat. Besides Weezl is a much nicer person than I and has given you some much more tactful suggestions that I could ever hope to come up with:A

Beenie, I went to boobie group the first time out of sheer desperation having walked around Asda the night before in tears buying formula that I really didn't want to give her. It was the best thing that I have done. It wasn't clique-y and I didn't have to get my boobs out, though if I had needed to no-one would have batted an eyelid and would have just tried to help out with suggestions if I was doing something wrong. In fact, they have helped other mums since and none of us worried about what was going on on the sofas, we were much more interested in making the most of having a hot cup of tea :rotfl:. I've made some lovely friends there, and after being snowed in last wednesday I've really missed not going this week.
Try that number again today, rant at us if it helps, and see HV as soon as you can. If you end up on formula, don't beat yourself up about it - you need to do what is best for both of you and that includes amber having a happy mummy. xxx

Snowing again here, only a little bit at the moment though.

Tooth still rough on my tongue but not hurting itself yet. Starting to think it might be one I've had root treatment in as I could taste that antiseptic stuff they use last night. Was a lovely accompaniment to ravioli on toast (I know but I was struggling as to what didn't need serious chewing). Not sure how I'm going to get to dentist as they are up stairs with no easy way of getting pushchair up there. If I use the Kari-me I'll have nowhere to put Kezia whilst I'm in the chair and if I try to take her out of it she'll wake up. Can't really get mum and dad to look after her as the snow is too much on each of our cul-de-sacs to get in and out of easily. No idea how bad the main roads are but assuming they are probably ok by now. And still not got the car back from the garage.

Sorry, not sure where that little rant came from. Sometimes I think I could do with a partner just for someone to listen to me whinging.

Hope all are well and warm
xxxx

weezl74

BrunoM wrote: »

Just to be clear Weezlie, I have no idea if vomit at that level "must mean reflux" or anything like that - I just spent quite a time looking at vomiting symptoms and such earlier in E's life, and I don't think I heard of anything or any babies who threw up proper sick regularly at that age, who didn't have reflux, iyswim. There might be lots of reasons and some of them might be perfectly non-traumatic. If there are none of the other symptoms of reflux then... yeah

that's ok Bruno, I know you weren't saying it was reflux.

How is OH today? Any further chats about a way forward for her or is it all a bit early for that?

Thanks SB, that's a creative way of DH doing it. For us, I think if I work a 0.25 contract I can justify OH going to .8 (one day off a week) I earn 5k a year less than him. So I think that might be doable after my second maternity leave.

Advanced planner? Moi? Mais non!

Harley, I'm not that nice really, I just fake it to make my internet friends like me

xxx

weezl74

ps Harley, if the out of hours dentist has better access facilities, maybe you could go today, explaining that your usual practice is not accessible with your baby? The phone number will be on your usual dentists weekend answerphone message

Disability discrimination laws mean they have to offer anyone an alternative who can't access their normal service for whatever reason, pram, wheelchair, crutches....

HTH