MSE Parents Club Part 9

redmel1621

Morning

Well I got a whole 3hrs of unbroken sleep and not much else...He is sat playing with his empty bottle chattering away to it, while semi-watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse:)

I am soo tired, I really want to go back to bed but I am not going to ask dh to watch the kids after his remark when we were arguing the other day...i'll just do it all myself if I run myself down then tough!

Question, if someone (close to you) told you that you were crap at cooking/keeping the house clean/in bed/raising the kids, would you try to prove them wrong or would you think F..k you then and not do those things they said you were crap at. Even though they said them in an argument so 'possibly' only saying it to hurt your feelings??

Mel x

weezl74

redmel1621 wrote: »

Question, if someone (close to you) told you that you were crap at cooking/keeping the house clean/in bed/raising the kids, would you try to prove them wrong or would you think F..k you then and not do those things they said you were crap at. Even though they said them in an argument so 'possibly' only saying it to hurt your feelings??

Mel x

I'm guessing we're talking about OH here!

What I'd love to be able to think/say would be to think, 'here's a man who lashes out for his own reasons. I hope he can find a better way of saying when he's upset, or he'll alienate the 5 people who are keeping him alive'.

And probably to say outloud 'you haven't ever been where I am, so you can't know how well I'm doing. My body is drained all the time from creating a new human and sustaining 3 more. If I manage ANYTHING else and I frequently do, then I am an amazing goddess. (because you are Mel x)

weezl74

and onto a more mundane matter...

I know little babies are sick (well possetty) a lot. But when does that usually end?

Fergie is sick 3-8 times a day still, and it smells more like real sick IYSWIM? How does that compare with the norm? He's 10 months old.

weezl74

tiamai_d wrote: »

Anyone know about the cold weather payments? Apparently we are eligable for 4, but how do you get them?

this has probably been answered Tia, but it says on HMRC site:

How to apply

You don't need to apply; you'll get a Cold Weather Payment automatically as long as you qualify.
Tell your pension centre or Jobcentre Plus if you think you should have received a Cold Weather Payment but you have not had one.

redmel1621

Thanks Weezl...It wasn't 'exactly' those things that he said, but something along the lines of one. I just thought I would try not to be too specific.

But would you carry on doing the 'thing' anyway and carry on as you were, or would you try to prove the criticism wrong, or (as I have effectively done) say go screw yourself (sorry for the bad language)

Obviously my way is not the ideal and will cause hostility, possibly worse, in the long term but that is just the way I feel....

redmel1621

weezl74 wrote: »

and onto a more mundane matter...

I know little babies are sick (well possetty) a lot. But when does that usually end?

Fergie is sick 3-8 times a day still, and it smells more like real sick IYSWIM? How does that compare with the norm? He's 10 months old.

Not sure what the 'norm' is but Kai is very rarely sicky. Is it after his milk?

weezl74

elle_gee wrote: »

I'm not AWOL, I'm here! :hello: Sorry, been here all night.. feel included without opening my mouth! I'm doing a weezl, sat in the corner, nodding along in agreement

:rotfl:you're right! I do that a lot at night! And in the morning I post post post! I think I go a bit introverty in the evenings Yours seems more linked to tireder days and when you've got stuff on your mind elle, is that right?

BrunoM

BeenieCat wrote: »

Ahhh thank you! And thanks for pasting that info, not sure if my phone can handle the site it wouldn't load- Orange internet is slowww! I feel a bit like a pain in the backside if i disturb someone from something but i suppose that's what they signed up for :eek:. I am a bit nervous about going to the group i hate those kind of setups usually but i need to get over myself and hope it's not too cliquey! If i post to say i'm not gonna go then someone needs to kick me up the bum cos i will go insane if i isolate myself for much longer. My only 2 supportive friends don't have kids. And my friends with kids are too busy with their families and work for me to see much. Well she's finally asleep, hate not knowing if it will be for 5 minutes or 5 hours, but i should try to sleep anyway.
Night elle and thank you x

Hi Beenie
Something I don't think anyone specifically mentioned which really helped my OH, was getting an appointment with a breastfeeding counsellor, through the HV system. In our area HVs hold Wednesday afternoon clinics and a BF counsellor rotates around the ones in the area on different weeks. So we were able to just call up and make an appointment to see her the following week. That got OH one on one time for half an hour with someone who was happy to talk through all her concerns, different positions, latches, nutrition for mum, and so on.

I don't know if your NHS area will do this but I expect they might and it's worth asking! Not a short-term fix I know. Good luck!

Keely, is Elliot any better this morning? Did he sleep ok?

Mel... I would want to understand why they had said it because the reaction would really depend on that I think. Could be: heat of the moment throwaway comment that they've already forgotten; underlying frustration coming out and they really mean that they have problems with how you are doing a b and c; a calculated attack trying to hurt you where they know you're sensitive... etc.

Having said that, doing a good job with house and kids is the sort of thing that makes anyone (including men in at least some cases!) feel good about themselves anyway. Sorry things are so strained for you recently

BrunoM

weezl74 wrote: »

and onto a more mundane matter...

I know little babies are sick (well possetty) a lot. But when does that usually end?

Fergie is sick 3-8 times a day still, and it smells more like real sick IYSWIM? How does that compare with the norm? He's 10 months old.

Weezl, that seems quite a bit more than normal. Not sure if it falls within the 'no need to be concerned' range or not honestly. Any other signs at all that could suggest a reflux cause? I'm not sure what other reasons there are for babies to be vomit-y.

SeptemberBaby_2

Mel, I would tell him whatever I was rubbish at he could take over as obviously he would do a better job than I :rolleyes:. Hugs, hope you're ok.

Weezl, Jamie was very rarely possetty sick so I don't know if thats 'normal' or not. How did you get on with your mammoth list yesterday?!

xx