Rant about unsuitable xmas gifts

aliasojo

Daughter (10) has a friend the same age, who is way ahead of her years (imo). Her parents seem happy enough to have her as an adult before her time. She wears high heels, make up, adult clothes and plays 18 computer games. Her parents see her as fashionable and see no issue with any of it, which is fine and they obviously can raise their daughter in any way they want to.

My problem is that they are now treating my daughter in the same way and have given my daughter some Xmas presents which I feel are much more suitable for a 16+ year old at least. (I opened them AND REWRAPPED THEM whilst daughter was at school as I had a bad feeling about them.......shoot me )

I'm a fairly strict Mum who thinks kids should be kids and there's plenty time for acting older when they are older and there is no way on God's green earth will my daughter be allowed to use/have these things, nice as they are.

Whilst they are kind in thinking about my daughter, their kindness is causing problems for us as she will obviously want them and isn't going to be allowed them. Cue WW3 in our house after Xmas. :rolleyes:

Next year I am going to make sure I go down the 'we're skint, how would you feel about agreeing to give cards only' route but that doesn't solve this year's headache.

When you give gifts do you always choose them with the recipient in mind...or do you just give whatever you like? Have you been in the position of being given unsuitable things? How did you deal with it?

mrcow

What on earth have they given her?!

Is it something that you can shove to the back of a drawer for 6 or 7 years?

mrcow

In terms of being given something unsuitable, did once get a size 22 top of my MIL (I had just had my first baby and was sized 14 at the time). I was really insulted and registered my disgust at the time (but that's because I thought she needed telling as it was a really rude present and she knew it).

flybynight

mr cow to be honest i once did a similar thing by accident. i got a t shirt for somebody at work who i guessed at the size so got her a 26, coz i thought that it was the width across the shirts (girl sizes are not my thing) luckily it was waaaaaaaaaay to big when she got it out of the packet. and she saw the funny side.

aliasojo

LOl mrcow...I really dont want to say just in case they are members here. The items themselves are nothing weird or dodgy in any way....they're just not suited to a 10 year old. They are the kind of things I would have bought for myself or for my son's g/f etc.

bestpud

I'm wondering what they are as well as I think that makes a difference tbh.

Is it something labelled 'over 16s only' or something you'd just rather not have her use/wear?

If the former, I'd probably tell the parents straight that I don't appreciate her being given gifts like that.

If the latter, maybe you can compromise with your dd, depending on what they are of course? If make-up, for example, then she only experiments with it at home - that kind of thing?

aliasojo

bestpud wrote: »

I'm wondering what they are as well as I think that makes a difference tbh.

Is it something labelled over 16s or something you's just rather not have her use/wear?

Ah I see. Ok, no they are not labelled for a specific age. That said, one thing is something that will clearly only fit an adult and my daughter is a skinny petite thing so why they thought it would do her I don't know.

I'm wondering if last year's sales were the reason for this year's presents iyswim.

peachyprice

I wonder if they've bought them for her because she's expressed an interest in her friends ones (whatever they are). :rotfl:

They may be thinking poor little alias jnr, she hasn't one of these 'things' she loves so much, we'll get her one for xmas. In which case, come the new year and they ask where the 'things' are she's going to have to say that her mum took them away.

So, bearing that in mind it might be kinder to your DD to have a word with the mum now and get her to change them for something more suitable before xmas.

kegg_2

Without knowing what they are it is hard to say what to do about it.

Is it something that could be limited to use in the house?
Or a underwear set? with bar ect which could be worn under a vest?
Can it be adapted in anyway so she can still have it but under your rules?

kegg_2

bar should read bra

LJM

my daughter is coming up for 9 and she has friends who dress very old for their age of which me and her dad dont want her doing, we refuse very short skirts, high heel shoes etc. she does have make up but wears it at home when playing dress up which is fine. i would simply even if it causes trouble quietly give back the present and say thanks but no thanks. kids should be kids for alot longer than they are nowadays i dont want mine growing up too fast and i would not encourage it either