Tight-a**** hubby driving me insane!

willa

Mutter wrote: »

This can be a strange place at times.

Errata commented on the basic food situation. LegalBlonde asked what that had to do with anything, 13 people thanked her post, so agreeing.

Then followed 31 posts all comparing notes on shopping and diet!

What?

OP, you are not living, you are existing, or are you a celeb in training for a jungle stint on rice and beans?

You say you have put weight on. I'm not surprised with all those carbs. Bread, potatoes, rice, oats.
You are Vegetarian? Then an omelette, and broccoli would be far better than all those carbs. If you don't already, then you should be eating plenty of lentils as in soup and patties.

You are simply not getting enough protein in your diet, and yes it is relevant to how mean your husband is. If you lived with a normal spender, you wouldn't be living this way, and you are impressed by him warming your side of the bed!

He's thinking, "I'll warm her side, then she won't ask me to pay £4.00 for a hot water bottle." Beware of him warming the loo seat too, rather than heat the bathroom.

You may not have suffered yet, but you will unless you up your protein and cut the carbs. Protein is your foundation, carbs are instant energy. Heaven knows where your B vits and iron are coming from. if you can, get a jar of Marmite and make a drink from it, good Vit B source.

Google "nat med forums" post your daily diet and see what they say.

What I found really telling was that OP's husband eats a meat meal at work.:rolleyes:

Yes the diet is highly relevant to the thread as Errata pointed out.
There is much adulation on the board for those surviving on £10 or £7.50 a week, but what sort of life is that? Borderline OCD I'd say.

" Right, let's see if we can get it down to £7.00, then I can post it on MSE. No matter that we have no life and I am feeling lethargic. Let's go for it. You work out the menus, I'm too tired"

You're right there! Lots of soapbox moralisers who pile on to posts whether it's relevant to what the OP was actually talking about or not. It's really patronising, and we don't know every single detail of the woman's diet and why should we.
The woman (OP) sounds quite clued up about nutrition to me and it sounds like she tries to get the protein requirements in. I didn't get the impression she was being forced by her husband to not spend enough money on food.
I actually do have OCD but I have no desire to spend huge amounts of time and energy trying to live off £10 or less food money for two people a week.
I looked at Weezl's site that someone supplied a link to and no offense, I simply couldn't be @.rsed going to those lengths myself and I wasn't convinced by the health benefits of the food I saw frankly. I'm not going to get into any debates about that either!
I do, however, as I said before admire Sakura (who hasn't been back so this is getting a bit pointless all this telling her what she should be doing with her diet) because she seems to be happy to put the effort in to do what she does and it sounds like she does pretty well to me.
As for the second bit of your post that I have highlighted, I don't really get this lady's manner, which I have encountered before.
So, in conclusion, please don't include me in your moralising and lecturing all those who have posted here for that purpose!
I definitely will not be replying to any baiting or nasty replies.

Buttonmoons

Can't believe how grippy the OP's husband is! Keeping tabs on her share, so she can pay him back once she gets work, way to ease the pressure!

£10 a week makes me go :eek: I spend that on peppers and onions (we like em in everything!) before anything else comes into the equation.

Is the OP forced to JUST spend £10 and no more of her husbands money on Groceries? You'd be better of begging in the street, at least people will buy you a cup of coffee and a sandwich from greggs!

esmerelda98

Mutter wrote: »

This can be a strange place at times.

Errata commented on the basic food situation. LegalBlonde asked what that had to do with anything, 13 people thanked her post, so agreeing.

Then followed 31 posts all comparing notes on shopping and diet!

What?

OP, you are not living, you are existing, or are you a celeb in training for a jungle stint on rice and beans?

You say you have put weight on. I'm not surprised with all those carbs. Bread, potatoes, rice, oats.
You are Vegetarian? Then an omelette, and broccoli would be far better than all those carbs. If you don't already, then you should be eating plenty of lentils as in soup and patties.

You are simply not getting enough protein in your diet, and yes it is relevant to how mean your husband is. If you lived with a normal spender, you wouldn't be living this way, and you are impressed by him warming your side of the bed!

He's thinking, "I'll warm her side, then she won't ask me to pay £4.00 for a hot water bottle." Beware of him warming the loo seat too, rather than heat the bathroom.

You may not have suffered yet, but you will unless you up your protein and cut the carbs. Protein is your foundation, carbs are instant energy. Heaven knows where your B vits and iron are coming from. if you can, get a jar of Marmite and make a drink from it, good Vit B source.

Google "nat med forums" post your daily diet and see what they say.

What I found really telling was that OP's husband eats a meat meal at work.:rolleyes:

Yes the diet is highly relevant to the thread as Errata pointed out.
There is much adulation on the board for those surviving on £10 or £7.50 a week, but what sort of life is that? Borderline OCD I'd say.

" Right, let's see if we can get it down to £7.00, then I can post it on MSE. No matter that we have no life and I am feeling lethargic. Let's go for it. You work out the menus, I'm too tired"

One good meal a day is all anyone really needs nowadays, though most of us are accustomed to 2 or 3. This was all well and good way back when life was much more physically demanding, but nowadays means about two-thirds of the population is overweight. So if her husband is tucking in at work, he may well not be eating much at home, leaving more of the budget for her. Now whether this means he struggles to understand how hard she finds the situation is another matter.

I am a bit concerned that everyone is banging on about her protein intake. I have already made the point that protein is important. However, I'm not sure that people appreciate that milk, eggs, cheese, 'all types of beans' [post 26] are all good sources of protein. And broccoli is a vegetable! She did say she eats lots of vegetables. Perhaps her protein intake is inadequate. However, I submit it is not possible to come to a definitive conclusion on this point.

esmerelda98

willa wrote: »

You're right there! Lots of soapbox moralisers who pile on to posts whether it's relevant to what the OP was actually talking about or not. It's really patronising, and we don't know every single detail of the woman's diet and why should we.
The woman (OP) sounds quite clued up about nutrition to me and it sounds like she tries to get the protein requirements in. I didn't get the impression she was being forced by her husband to not spend enough money on food.
I actually do have OCD but I have no desire to spend huge amounts of time and energy trying to live off £10 or less food money for two people a week.
I looked at Weezl's site that someone supplied a link to and no offense, I simply couldn't be @.rsed going to those lengths myself and I wasn't convinced by the health benefits of the food I saw frankly. I'm not going to get into any debates about that either!
I do, however, as I said before admire Sakura (who hasn't been back so this is getting a bit pointless all this telling her what she should be doing with her diet) because she seems to be happy to put the effort in to do what she does and it sounds like she does pretty well to me.
As for the second bit of your post that I have highlighted, I don't really get this lady's manner, which I have encountered before.
So, in conclusion, please don't include me in your moralising and lecturing all those who have posted here for that purpose!
I definitely will not be replying to any baiting or nasty replies.

Oftentimes when I post it is to make a general point which I think is really important, though it may not have a particular bearing on the original issue raised. I don't usually give my opinion on the issue raised because there are many others who can do that and who do. It's really important to me to correct inaccuracies in the information people helpfully give where I have a good background in that area, because the information may be useful to someone else reading the thread. They may not have another opportunity to get the correct information. This doesn't mean I'm having a dig at you. It was the diet I have problems with. In any case I would like to have the information in post 56 'out there' , whether or not (not, I take it) it is of interest to you.

willa

esmerelda98 wrote: »

Oftentimes when I post it is to make a general point which I think is really important, though it may not have a particular bearing on the original issue raised. I don't usually give my opinion on the issue raised because there are many others who can do that and who do. It's really important to me to correct inaccuracies in the information people helpfully give where I have a good background in that area, because the information may be useful to someone else reading the thread. They may not have another opportunity to get the correct information. This doesn't mean I'm having a dig at you. It was the diet I have problems with. In any case I would like to have the information in my last post 'out there' , whether or not (not, I take it) it is of interest to you.

Erm, I believe the post you quoted was in reply to Mutter? I can't remember your particular replies right now.
I have quite a background in health and nutrition myself, but (and I'm not saying that you are a prime example here because as I say I can't remember), I do try not to poopoo what others say in an insulting way if I am 'trying to correct' things (to do with any subject), unless the person I am trying to correct has been unpleasant in some way to start with. I don't believe I or the OP was unpleasant to anyone on here? People have been flinging comments about 'fad diets' and 'rubbish' ideas on this thread. An awful lot of assuming going on too, in this case about the OP's knowledge and health, and my knowledge and blood tests, which I do find particularly annoying! :eek:

Mutter_2

willa, I can't see any highlighting but I agree, Sakura is doing very well. Too well, in my opinion. So well in fact, no further advance will be heading her way as she manages on what she has.

Sometimes I feel the whole sense of this site has lost it's way. It is Money Saving yes. That means as Martin Lewis has pointed out, getting value for money.
Not going without, or eating such food as to be deficient in nutrients.

I've not seen Weezl's posts, (just hope it doesn't involve road kill) but I will take a look thanks for that. There is so much to read here.

I am feeling neither nasty or baiting, though I trust that wasn't aimed at me.
Sakura should be Saint Sakura in my opinion, though putting her health at risk for a mean man should not be the route to Canonisation.

tandraig

if we get back to original post - this lady is being driven insane by her OHs tight aresed ways! do we agree he is tight? to my mind she has grounds for divorce!!! extreme mental cruelty!
this guy is an !!!!!!! - no matter how considerate he is - I cannot believe that she is getting the right nutrition - while he eats in work!
arggghhh - hun - he may be lovely in some ways - but i would leave for a few weeks leaving him a tenner a week. see if he can cope!

Steel_2

Sakura - how long have you been married and how long have you known one another? It's no easy task to merge two single lives into one married one and can take a few years to adjust, especially the financial aspects.

It was only when I lost a lot of money in a business deal and hubby had to support me that we stopped divving everything up down the last penny. We'd both been single for many years before we met and become stuck in our financial ways.

It wasn't easy and I know there was resentment at first on his side that he had to pay for everything. I was resentful too because he was so grumpy all the time and I couldn't put a foot right no matter what I did. I once reminded him that life and marriage was ups and downs and I don't recall making his life a misery when I was bringing it twice his income 12 months before and still doing everything in the house and garden.

Unconsciously I'd also started to withdraw a bit from him after that conversation - I didn't want to spend much time with him because of his resentment so I took myself off to my hobby room to get some space to myself and started doing less round the house. I still cleaned and cooked but the bare necessities, not the extras. I couldn't be bothered. I found he never took homemaking seriously or appreciated how long a person can spend looking after a home and garden, so he didn't respect that part of my contribution at all.

Losing that money dented my self-respect and I think he picked up on it. I was always trying to compensate for a situation that I saw as my fault, even though I couldn't have changed the outcome or the actions of the other party at any time. Eventually when I thought "sod you, I'm not being blamed any more for this" and started getting my self-respect back, the situation started to change. Slowly we seem to have adjusted to money coming in being 'family' money, regardless of where it comes from and who provides it. I stand up a lot more for myself now as well - I'm not scared little newlywed afraid of her husband leaving if she complained.

Good luck and hopefully you can have a chat with him about how he's making you feel and find a way forward together. Because that has to happen. If you have a child or become ill, you may find your income drops then as well. Is he going to make you feel bad at those time too?

Steel_2

tandraig wrote: »

Can you please tell me how you train a husband to leave the room to fart?

Mine came ready trained

Shame his mother didn't train him to use a dishcloth though :rolleyes:

Flearoy

can you please tell me how you train a husband to leave the room to fart?

---

Perhaps you could try the carrot and stick approach? Whack him with the stick and ram the carrot somewhere he wouldn't like?