Tight-a**** hubby driving me insane!

kindofagilr

I personally couldnt be with a man who sees money in this way

Me and OH bought our house in April, we are engaged and we have a joint bank account, the bills and groceries come out of that, if one of us lost our job (touch wood we dont) then there is no way the other one would act like this.

You are meant to be a team. I couldnt live with someone like that.

ljw2701

I think this really has to be dealt with to be honest ie discussed openly with DH before the situation escalates and starts to affect your whole relationship.

My husband was/is exactly the same and, although it seemed quite funny and a little bit endearing in the beginning, once I stopped work to be a stay at home Mum it all changed. Fastforward 3 years and we separated in May this year.......

You'll know you've reached the end when you have to ask permission to put an item in the shopping trolley - in front of your 2 children - or when you resort to carrying your "own" handbasket while he pushes the trolley with the weekly shop.

I might add that all of this is from someone who presents to the world the most mild-mannered persona you could imagine. From reading other threads on here I've come to realise he is a classic passive aggressive.

Please bring how you feel into the open and have a long & frank talk with your husband.

moneysavermum_2

I dont think this should be treated lightly..it shows disrespect..he is disrespecting what you bring to the relationship and what you do for him. He needs a large wake up call.....maybe a few days on his own to cook and clean for himself. Meanness is a terrible thing...Im not one for waste either but consideration.

Dont let him disrespect you in this way....stand up for yourself..remind him of your cooking, cleaning and all the things you do for no money. Sex "!!!!!!!! Id be stopping that straight away til he wisens up!!!! Being a man hell soon learn the errors of his ways.

BitterAndTwisted

To be honest, the very idea of having consensual sexual intercourse with someone who treated me like some ungrateful sponger would be the last thing on my mind.

Just take care that your relationship doesn't turn into some patronising parent/child one rather than a partnership of equals

dotstar24

...oh god I'd tell him to f**k off!!!

Sakura_Yuki

Thanks for all the replies & support!

We did both recently decide to leave our repective banks & I have insisted on a joint account. I figure that way, he'll be able to see exactly how much I bring in & how much I spend on joint expenses, then hopefully he'll start acknowldeging my contribution properly!

zaksmum

I can't imagine how you put up with this man. He's showing a total lack of respect for you and this relationship is far from balanced. Do you have kids?

I can't believe you spend just a tenner a week on food and he's STILL complaining.

You should bin him off and get yourself a man who wouldn't skin a flea for it's hide and knows how to appreciate you.

purplepardalis

It isn't good for a relationship if money is dealt with this way. You should talk to him and ask him how he would feel if things were the other way round. I'm sure he wouldn't expect or appreciate you to behave in the same way if he was out of work and you were paying all the bills. For me and my OH this has happened over the last two and a half years. In that time we've only had 7 months of both of us working at the same time. When it was just one, the person working picked up the bills without even having to talk about it - and both of us have had to be the one paying the bills.

Errata

zaksmum wrote: »

I can't believe you spend just a tenner a week on food and he's STILL complaining.

On a fiver's worth of food a week, I doin't know how he finds the energy to complain.

Kirri

Let him do all the shopping and cooking for one week to see how much he can spend! Or else I'd buy and cook just what I could afford for me only... probably whilst making alternative living arrangements. A man like that would make me really miserable, I couldn't put up with it.