so disappointed...

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

You could always talk to him about the alternatives to sticking it out - send him details about working in McDonalds, KFC, cleaning toilets, etc. Then when he asks why, 'well, if you leave Uni you're going to have to get a job, darling, and these seem to be the only ones for people without degrees, because the apprenticeships have already been taken up by the 16 year olds'.

He may find a new interest in studying rather than partying then.

fernliebee

Haven't read the whole thread so apologies if I'm repeating things.

If he does his best to catch up and passes the year then it would be great, alternatively if he just agrees to stay on and do his best then he has more options. Firstly, even if he fails then he can re-take the whole year, and this will still count as study time so he will not have to pay loan back now, rather it will be added on to total student loan which will be payable at the end of his course.

Secondly, he may surprise himself, and if he only fails a small part then he will be able to do re-takes over the summer and still join the second year as planned.

If he is not happy on his course, then he is still early enough in the year that if he wanted to change, he probably could as long as they could get him to commit to catching up. Universities are so used to people getting into this situation in their first time, as for most students this is their first time away from home and many of them go a bit wild!

He has options and the tutors are the best people to help with them. He need's to not be embarrassed about it, and just go and tell them the truth, and they can help him if he is now willing to put in the hard work.

Hope you get it sorted out in some way though, it's not a nice situation to be in for either of you.

WolfSong2000

It'll be okay...I;m in the final year of a 4 year course and still feel overwhelmed myself at times

The first year can be really hard for some students - I've met one girl this year who's just started, moved away from home for the first time and was really really upset - homesick, crying, wanting to move back home, etc. I gave her my number, and we've met up a few times so she can have a chat, let me know how she's settling in, etc. She's now made friends, and while it's not easy, she's managing. I just happened to fall into this (unofficial) mentoring role, but maybe your son could speak to his uni and see if they have a more "official" version?

Uni's very scary first year, and it's a big change. Tell your son to go to the uni's student support service. They'll have seen loads of people in the same position as him and be able to offer advice...my own advice would be that he works his backside off over christmas and at least attempts the exams in january...if he fails any, he can resit. Heck, I failed an exam in my first year and it meant I wasn't allowed to study abroad for a year as I'd hoped - I was absolutely devastated at the time (in tears, etc), but it's worked out for the best as it's allowed me to be more flexible and change my degree (from philosophy to history) without having to repeat a year.

Finding a friend who is very organised and "driven" also helps...I'm the most disorganised person on the planet, and have struggled, but last year made friends with an awesome girl who's the complete opposite, and we compliment each other really well. I teach her how to just "chill" (something I'm very good at . lol) and she teaches me how to be more studious, motivated, etc. For the first time in 4 years I've finished an essay 3 days before it's actually due! I never thought I'd see the day. lol.

Anyhow, point is - all is not lost! *Everyone* makes mistakes in their first year of uni. It'd be more weird if they didn't. What makes the difference is how you deal with those problems. If he stays, works hard and sticks it out he'll hopefully get a sense of achievement...if not, he'll just be another uni dropout and employers wont look kindly on him for it.

Hope this helps

shiningdove

I dropped out of uni in my first year. That was last year.
I will soon be starting a new dream job in the field that i've always wanted to go into.. without uni.

Uni just wasn't for me. I couldn't get my head round it, and felt it was too hard. (Strictly speaking i shouldn't of really got into uni. I certainly didn't on my UCAS points anyway)

Dave101t

he hasnt missed 'so much' at all. he has been there 3 months. that is so easy to catch up, eh fellow graduates?
but if he cant hack 3 months, he will really be in the sh it in years 2 and 3.
you dont need uni as dove says, but it got me far. im working from home!

p.s, after a week, with alot more replies, show him this thread, it may help focus his mind, either way, so long as he focuses thats the main thing.

gettingready

shiningdove wrote: »

I dropped out of uni in my first year. That was last year.
I will soon be starting a new dream job in the field that i've always wanted to go into.. without uni.

Well, hope all goes well for you but I would not generalise here - you may get your dream job without Uni but will you be able to progress within this field without a degree later on?

Of course, it depends on what that dream job is.

From my experience, one can get an entry level position within a choosen field, may even go 1-2 steps up but will come to a point where a degre (ANY degree, not necesarily in that particulr field) is necessary to progress any further. And that point will come few years down the line when one already has other things on their mind (family, mortgage etc) and is not in a position (financially or timewise) to go back to study.

When one stays within the same company - may go up 1-2 steps, when one tries to move to work for another - the degree (in addition to experience) may be necessary and what then?

Hope I did not ramble on too much and the above makes sense?

fatou256

Hi jilly mit if your sons find a bit toom uch full time uni did he thought about doing an OU degree ?
it is the same as a brick uni but it is a lot more manageable regarding coursework and exam and ti can take as little or as much he want, more so it cost a lot less than a brick uni. maybe it is worth for him to see if it is somethign that will interest him .

lostinrates

There were a fair few people on my course who failed the first year and re started. There are far, far more who have graduated and are working:

a: out of their field of study
b: in non graduate jobs.

Does he have a tutor? He needs to let someone know he knows he's struggling (or have they told him?). He should take the time off at the end of term to consider what it is he wants, what his alternatives are. Giving up now with no plan would not be a great idea.

First year, IMO, was the hardest...but if he is not a ''self starter'' he's likely to find the reverse....lecture&tutorial time decreases, where as personal study/research time should increase.

Does he have a part time job now? My experience was that among my peers those of us who worked seemed to value the course more.

Self catering might have been a bad idea too, if he finds organising himself less than ideal the partial structure of having to be at halls when food is served and not having to worry about shopping might be worth considering. SC places are usually in demand, he might beable to arrange a swap with someone not in self catering but on the waiting list through student services.

Finally, its worth mentioning drugs and alcohol. A lot of students whose parents are sure are just not with it are finding themselves unable to guage their own limits of ''extra curricular substances''. I have a lot of friends whose parents are very grateful their children are not among those: while I know they are, or were when we were at university. I don't really know as a parent how you can ascertain whether or not this is an issue. I know friends who have been asked have denied it and convinced their families.

Good luck to you, and to your son.

redstararnie76

Be aware that although he says it's because he's falling behind, there may be more to it than this.
As WolfSong mentions, some students find their first year of uni to be really hard (and I'm not really referring to the academic aspect). I remember when I was at uni and a number of students just found the environment very hard. I know I found my first year difficult and I can remember ringing home in tears and wondering how on earth I was going to manage three years like that. Almost everyone I spoke to, said that at times (some all of the time) during their first year, they hated it. Things do improve, but I think you can almost see that first year as 'a rite of passage'. As a result, I remember advising my brother to not judge his uni experience by his first few months - if you can get through the first year, it normally improves considerably.

C_Mababejive

Its not my intention to be another wagging finger...this is just such a common outcome for many people going to Uni these days.

They just get streamed in that direction due to the employment market. Get told they need to go to Uni,get involved in the social whirl and forget that its a place of work.

There is only one answer.

Study for something of substance and that is worthwhile/has greater employment potential (science/engineering base/law?)

Dont be a sheep/dont follow the crowd (going out getting lashed)

Get your head down and work

Get good results

Get a foothold in a good career.

I'm lucky,i have a good job with good money sans degree.

That rarely happens now..