anxious MicheH's undischarged diary.. trying to rebuild in every sense of the word

MicheH

I like that RichesToRags

I'm ok today, been out to buy the Christmas TV guide. Ooooh excitement in my life! My 5 year old painted a huge tree which I've cut out and stuck on the dining room window, just my 1 year old to stop from ripping it down. Had the craft box out with the little one and have been doing baubles, it's looking better than the all flashing grown up tree in the bay window!

Casserole is in the slow cooker, cooking away frugally for tonight (I looked at my smart meter.. costs 1p an hour - result!)

Mbottle of red wine is winking at me as is the star anise and cinnemon sticks. Going to make mulled wine and mince pies but have to wait till Wednesday as DH's dad and wife is coming to stay. Yay, company! DH is also off.. another Yay! because I can drive to do the school run instead of walking for miles

DH dad has it sussed really. He sold his house a couple of years back and bought a caravan. He now lives on a loch edge in a caravan, making his living from selling 1st and 2nd edition books he finds in charity chops (he knows how to spot a bargain) He has broadband in his caravan can you believe! That's where we go for our holidays, it's so relaxing.

DH lived most of his teenage years living in scottish caravans with his Dad. His mam left so they upped and left in search for a nicer life in bonny scotland. I lived a sheltered life with my mam when my dad died, wasn't allowed to go anywhere or doing anything, my mam was very over protected. Neither of us have had an extravegant childhood. It just makes me wonder why we were in the state we were in.

No frustrations today, everything running smoothly exept no sign of my bed yet.. this is day 10 - i'm not good at waiting especially as we've been on that flaming air bed for 4 months! Yeah, bankrupts are takedowns who walk away with a bag of money hidden under the mattress.. what mattress!?

dojoman

Hi Mich, I think it is a great idea,especially at this time of year, may be it will give those of us who are just behind you on the BR rollercoaster an idea of may be what is to come. :T :T :T

MicheH

Chicken Casserole was blerdy awful, hard veg and too watery sauce. Never mind. Still doing OK but Moon Beever is niggling away at me. Actually it's not them it's the system.

DH NT code has been activated so on December's pay he had his tax paid into our account, plus extra hundreds (thinking a tax refund of somesort - definately not our money though) so in our account we have £1000 that we cannot touch. We will not touch it but that's not the point. We are bankrupts that have no access to credit, we have to save for every thing we need let alone want. £1000 in a bankrupts account is ridiculus. £1000 sitting there winking. Now i'm not saying every bankrupt is careless or not sensible with money but the majority I dare say will put their hands up to it. Many people may still be trying to deal with a gambling or alcohol addiction or maybe struggle with mental illnesses. I dare say there has been someone who has used a little of this NT code money. There has got to be.

I just find the process rather ridiculus for a bankrupt trying to get on their feet and it's annoying me not knowing when we're going to have 'this carrot dangling' taken away. I want rid of this money ASAP but Moon Beever don't think haste is needed, still waiting to see when I can get rid of it.

confused76

aw mich i like your new diary
shame about the chicken casserole...i made a stir fry - too many beansprouts in it ah well eh!
i love your hubbies dad's decision to live by the loch, that sounds fabulous! i keep saying to my oh what about living on a barge but it's not that practical at the moment
and a grrr to moonbeever - i know what you mean, it's hard enough to budget as it is!
x

MicheH

You don't pay council tax on a barge do you? Would you really fancy it conf. Sounds like an adventure to me but no Iguess it's not practical.

confused76

no i don't think you do, bonus! pipe dream really...not that practical LOL

RichesToRags

I totally agree about the tax thing....

I don't understand why the tax office can't pay the OR direct, surely it would be easier. There would be less temptation (or sheer torture) for the BR, less admin and no need for companies with LOL names which make you have to stifle a giggle when the OR says their name. Childish I know, but come on, someone was a having a laugh when they thought up a name like that for a company that deals with insolvency. I'm just waiting to deal with their sister company..... Uranus Catflap

MicheH

What can a girl do to help get her confidence back. How can a girl learn to love herself. What happens when a girl relises that every thing that made her happy was superficial. How is a girl to feel when she relises she is so shallow.

I am happy, i'm just lost. I have to find a way o get my confidence back. I posted a post today but then panicked and deleted it. It wasn't anything too controversial but I didn't feel clever enough to be allowed to post there and I didn't feel strong enough to take any words of critiscm.

I have so much work to do with myself, I have to empty my head of superficial thoughts and work on me. I'm just lost at where to start.

BR knocks you in ways you cannot explain. It tears away strips of your being, makes you examine the core you, you might not like it, you might be so pleased you are forced to live that way but when you yearn for superficial to make you happier there is something wrong. I have to work out what is wrong.

confused76

i don't know hun, i wish i knew xxx
there are some things on here i would like to post but hold back too...
i fully agree with everything in your last post
i should feel relieved that the br as gone through, but i am just as confused as before
lets hope someone has some words of wisdom for us
in the meantime, you're lovely, and i think you're doing a great job after all you have been through in such a short space of time
you know where i am if you need a chat xxx

Mrs_Malaprop

Sorry to hear that your dinner was not a success.

Couple of quick things that I do as a stand by are

Chicken in a Mushroom Sauce.

Chicken breasts whole or cut up depending on how much I have and how far I need it to go. Cooked in a griddle pan, then removed and put to one side. Put a tin of condensed mushroom soup, add a tin of water, if you are feeling flush add the same amount in cream (or possibly creme fraiche, though haven't tried it with that yet.). Put some sliced mushrooms in and stir it all together then add the chicken back in and leave on a low heat. Put some rice and veg on and when ready serve.

You can do this with pork chops or possibly sausages as well (though not tried it with them as yet. Would cook sausages and then slice them up into chunks before putting back into the pan.)