DH wants to go to an Ex girlfriends funeral......

Stephb1986_2

I don't think I would go to any of my ex's funerals no matter how long I went out with them for. I don't think I would particularly like my fella to go to an ex's funeral so I can see where your coming from.

But I suppose he might just want to pay his respects and might see old friends while he's there.

Steph xx

littlemissmoney

tandraig wrote: »

sometimes you need to say goodbye to someone who was important to you 'at that time'. someone you feel contributed to your life and who you are now.

If you are looking for reasons why he wants to go after no contact for 25 years then I think this is probably the most likely. It's especially true if it was his first love or they went through some tough stuff together.

mountainofdebt

I must admit I would find it difficult to understand why my OH would want to go to a funeral of someone who he had little contact with for over 25 years.

The only thing I can think of is that the OP's OH perhaps sees this as some sort of opportunity to catch up with the people of his younger days.

hieveryone

I'm so shocked by some of the responses here. I split with my ex 2 years ago under extremely bad circumstances, but I know for sure that if he were to die (god forbid) then I would go to his funeral, no questions asked.

Yes 25 years is a long time, but with the most respect, you don't seem to know a lot about their relationship of the time. There could have been many things that went on that he feels it would be decent of him to say goodbye by attending.

Oldernotwiser

I wonder what the ex girlfriend's current husband/boyfriend might think about this; it seems to me that their feelings might be the most important thing to consider. I think I might feel really upset if someone from my husband's past turned up for his funeral!

Paparika

They could of been really good friends as well as being in a relationship, closure for him, maybe your just being a lil over sensitive, the person died, let your husband have his closure, is it you don't trust him? go with him

jackieb

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I wonder what the ex girlfriend's current husband/boyfriend might think about this; it seems to me that their feelings might be the most important thing to consider. I think I might feel really upset if someone from my husband's past turned up for his funeral!

I agree with this too.

devils_advocate

xxdeebeexx wrote: »

I will happily make a sandwich and a flask of tea and send him on his way.
He won't regret going, but he may regret not going.

Dx

Your comment shows why he's with you now.

Jo_R_2

I recently attended the funeral of an ex, we went out over 10 years ago and kept in touch periodically.

I was gutted to hear he'd died, it made me ask myself all sorts of questions about myself, my life and the paths we took, particularly since we were very close in age. We were very close at one point in our lives and I felt some need to go and say goodbye, to acknowledge the part we played in each other's lives, thanks for the good times we had and sorry for the bad ones.

I was quite wary that OH may have read more into it so I did my best to explain, he knew of my ex and that we kept in touch as friends. He was very understanding - I would have been even more upset if he'd have shown negativity, but he was very much of the "do what you need to do" mindset which for me was the best way he could have been.

Not sure if that helps with any insight x

Jo_R_2

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I wonder what the ex girlfriend's current husband/boyfriend might think about this; it seems to me that their feelings might be the most important thing to consider. I think I might feel really upset if someone from my husband's past turned up for his funeral!

I emailed my ex's girlfriend explaining I was hoping to go, as a courtesy, I knew my ex had spoken about me and she had met my sister who my ex was also friends with.

I was aware it may be awkward but she was very welcoming and quite pleased we were making the effort to go as we had to travel quite far. His mum was also really pleased we went; although I hadn't seen her for years she still remembered me and also told me she was pleased we'd made the effort to travel to the funeral.