telling a partner about my debt

sunny-2009

I agree with Milliemonster, I think you need to tell him now and get it over and done with, there never will be the right time, its best just to take a hugh breathe and get it over with. He might be upset for a few days or he could want to help you out in anyway he can. Ive been there myself and it does get easier once he calms down , you really dont know how he will react until you tell him but the relief you will feel for not having the weight of the world on your shoulders and having it hide it will be worth it. Good luck :A

putty71

Please tell him sooner rather than later, but still let him have his treat next year. When I told my wife the relief was huge and she realised that sacrifices had to be made, but we have each other , wonderful (most of the time) kids and remember there are people who are far worse off than you. Money does not buy happieness.

iwillgetoutofdebt

:grouphug: how are you doing Littlesmurf? I have been thinking about you, and am hoping that you are ok.

misslauren

hey, I just had a quick read through. I think this is something you really need to talk to him about, your tearing yourself up over it.

If you still want him to go to whatever it is he's going to, tell him that. Tell him you have a plan, which you do, and are sticking to it, and that you want that money to go to what he wanted.

Don't give yourself a breakdown waiting to tell him... I'm sure he wouldn't want that.

confused76

please tell him! i know the thought of it is frightening and you don't want to rock the boat, but you are where you are and you are a partnership. you're going to make yourself very very ill if you don't tell him.
just bite the bullet and do it...it won't be as bad as you think and he may have ideas of how you can dig yourself out of this hole. also, you have done very well budgetting so you are making the effort, he will see this.
all the very best xxx

littlesmurf

thanks... you are a lot braver than me... i am going to wait till after christmas. my husband is really looking forward to the time off and relaxing as he has had a stressfull year at work. I am going to do it when we are back at work and kids are back at school. I am geared up for it now as i long for a full nights sleep and to stop this horrible feeling i have in my stomach all the time x

[Deleted User]

Littlesmurf - you really need to be honest with your husband. The longer you leave it the more stressed you'll be due to the anxiety, lack of sleep etc. Inflicting your compromised mental well-being on your husband is unfair... he'll be really worried about you and wondering why you're so sad/upset and generally behaving differently... do you no longer love him may be part of his thinking.

You can change all this by being honest. It really DOES make for a simpler and easier life and I truly would recommend it as I've been driven mentally ill with stress in the past and the impact on family is horrendous. The best gift you can give yourself and your family this Christmas is the truth. Life will be good in 2010 if you are... if not then you can only guarantee that you'll continue feeling as you do now, and it's not going to be get better without action. Tonight is as good a time as any and we'll all be here to greet you after if you need us.

GOOD LUCK!

littlesmurf

thank you xx i know that my stress is causing problems at the moment as i am always angry or weepy.. this has continued for two years now.. I AM going to tell him but it will be after christmas. I cannot ruin everyone in the house's christmas with this, as I know it will devestate my husband, who at the moment is lying in bed with flu .... The guilt of not telling him far outweighs anything else, and I prepared to risk my marriage after christmas but not before.

Snowmoredebt

I hid things from my girlfriend for 2 years I really wish I hadn't she has been really supportive. Please tell him, he loves you he will of course be a little hurt you haven't told him sooner but I don't think it will ruin your marrige.

Tell him while he's in bed Ill with flu if he has a sore throat he won't be able to shout and if he has man flu he won't be able to get out of bed he will have no choice other than to lay in bed and think about it while you look after him LOL

C_Mababejive

Dont tell him. You managed to get into it so manage your way out of it.

If my partner told me about debt I'd just say,thanks for sharing that with me,I hope you manage to sort it out and that it doesnt affect our relationship.