telling a partner about my debt

littlesmurf

thank you all again for all your support. i don't feel like i am on my own so much now, i thought my debt was so huge that nobody would be in the same boat, My hubby came in from work last night with gifts for my birthday on monday. I wanted to scream for him to take them back as i don't deserve them, our little girl has a big weekend so i can't ruin it for her..

bloojeans

Of course you deserve them. I am a very caring person and do lots for others and I deserve all the praise and thankyous i get (sounds big headed that does). Being in debt through my own fault does not make me any less loving caring and giving. Have a think about all the things you do for your DH and DD and your family and friends. i bet its quite a lot.
x

yellowduck_2

littlesmurf wrote: »

thank you all again for all your support. i don't feel like i am on my own so much now, i thought my debt was so huge that nobody would be in the same boat, My hubby came in from work last night with gifts for my birthday on monday. I wanted to scream for him to take them back as i don't deserve them, our little girl has a big weekend so i can't ruin it for her..

They love you and you DO deserve it

iwillgetoutofdebt

Of course you deserve your presents. Hey, I bet that your husband isn't perfect, and has some extremely annoying traits. I know that mine has rocked the boat of our marriage on more than one occassion, and I do put up with a lot from him working long hours, not doing much around the house etc.

You have made a mistake, but you are not a bad person.

sunnygirls

littlesmurf wrote: »

your situation sounds very much like mine. I am horrible and shouty all the time, i think you may all be right. i am going to get the weekend out of the way as my hubby as a party to go to and i don;t want to ruin it and i want to tell him next week. i only hope i can find the courage

Hi there i really know how you feel i was in the samme position earlier in the year and i think thinking about telling them is much worse than actually telling them ,my hubby as been wonderful and now i think were even closer than before and been able to talk about it in the open is such a relief ,we are far from debt free and will probably be skint for a good few years ,but we will get there and im sure you will too ,Take Care Sunny

littlesmurf

I'd like to say a big thank you to all you for your support and encouragment. I have sat today and worded a letter as i there is so much i want to say to him. I am going to find the courage to give it to him next week , I haven't slept in 3 days again but i know i have to do it xx

wherediditallgothen

littlesmurf wrote: »

I'd like to say a big thank you to all you for your support and encouragment. I have sat today and worded a letter as i there is so much i want to say to him. I am going to find the courage to give it to him next week , I haven't slept in 3 days again but i know i have to do it xx

Good luck! You could probably show him this thread as it might crystallise his thoughts as to how you feel?

littlesmurf

it gets more difficult.....

husband really excited last night about a something he loves doing next year, i know that if i tell him he will cancel. he never goes anywhere or spends any money. I can't spoil this for him, It looks like i will have to wait till after xmas I burst into tears this morning at work, i feel like i am being swallowed up by it all.. I have put all the information and dmp details in a box with a 3 page letter that i wrote last night. I have also put a budget planner in that i have been sticking to the last 3 months. so now i have to find the right time., i WILL tell him, but i need to let him get the tickets for what he wants with his christmas money off his parents, its the only thing he has asked for all year (sorry for the waffleing everyone, just now where else to sound off to)

milliemonster

ok, I think you need to tell him NOW!, please don't think I am being harsh but there will always be something that will crop up that he might want to do or spend money on and if you don't lay your cards on the table then this problem is never going to get solved and your debt is going to increase.

It's really unfair on your hubby to continue as you are with him blissfully unaware that you have debts.

What happens after xmas if there is something else he wants to spend money on???, you have to take the bull by the horns now, stop making excuses and sit him down and TALK!!! (meant in the nicest way xx)

immoral_angeluk

As scared as you are now... the relief you will feel by telling your husband and inevitably having his support will be worth far far more.