Marriage over - need help

Money_maker

Leila - just have to wish you luck for later today, I hope you get all the right answers from your solicitor.

You have shown great dignity in the way you have dealt with 'him' and your inlaws should have nothing but respect for you, many others would have cut off his family as well - particularly with his mothers stance. She may do well to remember this in the future and think before she opens her mouth.

Hoping you and the children are safe, well and soon able to look forward to a better future.

vaporate

Sorry no advice. However, I didn't want to read and run as they say on here.

I wish the OP all the best, along with a successful outcome, and xmas :j.

I hope this evil piece of work gets harsh justice.

pinkbabe

Leila so pleased that things are starting to look a little better for you....Just remember that you are better than this man and move on slowly....take each day at a time...... some days you will feel low but remember you have your lovely children who love you and need you. Good luck in the future and take care.

Sue

ceebeeby

Hey Leila, good for you for standing up to this incredulous bully! I have no words of advice to offer, but didn't want to read n' run without adding in a hug! You're doing the right thing.

Whereabouts roughly (county) are you in Scotland?

LeilaZ

Thanks everyone.

CeeBeeby I'm near Falkirk.

I got on really well at the solicitor today. He was very helpful and he seems very confident there's no way my husband can force me to sell my flat and take half of the money. He said that looking at our finances (being uber organised has finally helped with something!!) it shows that I have contributed the majority of the money. He has contributed very little financially - I was actually quite shocked when I actually thought about it.

Also with the fact that it has been my sons home since he was a baby and with me having the children it is very likely that will go in my favour.

He said that worst case scenario is that husband will be entitled to a portion of any equity that is released upon selling the house, but that will not be forced upon me until my youngest is 18 - which is nearly 18 whole years away!

We are going to court to get an order to keep my husband out of the home (i can't remember the name of it - we talked about so many things!) on the basis that my son and I are entitled to be safe in our home.

He thinks that the recording is basically an example of my husband "shooting himself in the foot" and has given a copy to the people dealing with the court case as it is an admission of guilt about the assault on my son.

I now need to think about custody/access as my SIL attempted to collect my middle son (husbands eldest) from nursery today on her brother's say-so without my permission. Thankfully due to having a doctor's appointment my son wasn't there. The solicitor has sent out a strongly worded, but fair letter to SIL and MIL informing them that they have no right to attempt to collect my son without my permission and any further attempts will lead to me reporting them to the police. It does say however that they are still welcome to see my son and the baby at our home during their regular visiting times that they have always used - I think that is more than fair.

He has made me an appointment with a family law specialist to see next week so that I can keep myself right in that respect. On his advice I've also spoken to the police dealing with us about today and they have told me that if any attempt is made to take the children to ring them straight away.

I'm exhausted. It's been a hell of a week. I'd hoped it would just be he and I who were battling, but I think it's going to get ugly now after today Thank you for your help. Leila

DX2

You may want to inform the nursery/school about the situation and tell them unless instructed by you your child doesn't leave with another adult.

InaPickle

Well done, Leila: it sounds like you have done a massive amount this week, and that you have tried to be as fair as possible as well, which is important. Please don't loose that as this goes on. x

Money_maker

Phew, what a day you've had. Hope you also speak to the nursery about only allowing yourself to collect your son.

Glad it all sounds as though you and your children will be able to stay in your home.

aj2703

DX2 wrote: »

You may want to inform the nursery/school about the situation and tell them unless instructed by you your child doesn't leave with another adult.

I second that. Tell them straight away.

LeilaZ

Thanks, I've already spoken to the nursery. I'd told them of the situation yesterday in case my son was a bit upset so when she tried to pick him up they phoned me right away. The manager also threatened to call the police on her and told her to stay well away from the building.

I've changed the collection password and told them that only me, my Mum or my sister will pick him up (they often so pick ups since the baby was born so are well known to the staff so we'll keep it to just us 3).

I'm phoning MIL at 10.30pm when she finishes work. Just as a courtesy to let her know that she'll be getting the letter along with her son and daughter. I don't want a war, but I do want them to realise that I won't have them playing silly beggars with my children.