Marriage over - need help

krillarbran

Just one sentence from me is that YOU NEVER MOVE OUT OF YOUR HOME in all domestic cases and that you follow the advice of these generous people.

LeilaZ

krillarbran wrote: »

Just one sentence from me is that YOU NEVER MOVE OUT OF YOUR HOME in all domestic cases and that you follow the advice of these generous people.

If it turns out he is allowed back though I will have no choice. There's no way in the world I can have someone who has shown that sort of temper in the same home as my sons. It's all very well that my eldest can stay with his Dad, but I can't assume that because the youngest 2 are his he's safe around them.

Hopefully it won't come to that.

justjohn

hi
Get him charged with assault. You need too seek legal advice.

In scotland as far as i am led to believe the less someone contributes financialy to a relationship the less they get when they leave in theory.

Get him charged it is unlikely he will be allowed to come near the house. See a lawyer first thing monday.

welshmoneylover

What a nasty piece of work, he has no right to his anyone never mind cutting plugs off you son's toys.

I have no legal advice to offer hun, but I commend you for sticking up for your children. Many mothers would have put up and told the kids to shut up.

Hope it works out ok x

AnxiousMum

LeilaZ wrote: »

If it turns out he is allowed back though I will have no choice. There's no way in the world I can have someone who has shown that sort of temper in the same home as my sons. It's all very well that my eldest can stay with his Dad, but I can't assume that because the youngest 2 are his he's safe around them.

Hopefully it won't come to that.

Do NOT EVER assume that his children will be safe around him. The day you married him, did you feel that he would become violent towards you? When he eventually did two years ago, did you then think that he might become violent towards your son from previous relationship? Probably not - or you wouldn't have had them in the same house. Do not now assume, that his own children will be immune from his lack of control.
You have made a wonderful first step in reporting this violence to the police and having them deal with it. Ensure though that not only do they have the assault on your ex, but that they take a report on the assault on your son today, the criminal damage, and if they will, a report on the asault on you two years ago.
Kind of hard for him to live in a house that he has a restraining order against going there isn't it?
Well done you for handling today - make sure you get out tomorrow and get the advice that you need.
Are the police going to notify you when he is released from custody?

wobin

Hi Leila,
I am sorry I do not have any advice for you - just stay strong. xx

DX2

Leila can you confirm whether we are looking at Scots law or English law, the waters seem to be a little muddy on this thread.

LeilaZ

Hi DX2, it's Scots law, thank you.

Anxious Mum - I won't ever trust him again. The only reason I didn't end it when he it me was because it was during a very, very emotional row at a difficult time. I said something very horrible, it didn't excuse him, but it made us sit down together and sort things out at the time. If I'd thought for a minute he'd do this to my son I wouldn't have given him a moments grace.

Thank you again everyone. Leila

LizzieS_2

You really should make a statement about the violence directed at your son.

Sorry I don't know Scottish Law, but doubt it will be that much different than English Law. He will probably be released or bailed until his court appearance for the incident with your ex. As your ex doesn't live with you, it is doubtful that even under bail conditions he would be denied access to what he classes as home (your son's incident could change that).

The court will only deal with criminal offences. It isn't a crime to live at 'home' as such most of the time.

You can take immediate civil action (usually within a day) getting an Order restraining him from being at your property, or even within a certain distance of your home.

For the house on divorce, whatever happens the courts will always put the welfare of the children against any personal financial interests of the parents until the youngest reaches 18 (before anyone bites on that one, I've taken account of the fact you couldn't move somewhere cheaper).

LeilaZ

He has been arrested for assaulting both my son and his father. The policeman told me to see a lawyer tomorrow to get an injunction based on the fact this is my son's home and has been since he was a baby. My MIL (lovely woman that she is) is saying that won't happen because they will just say my son could live with his Dad!! They can't really do anything about the hit on me as it was so long ago, but they have noted it on file.

There's definitely no way I could live somewhere cheaper. The loan I took to by the house was just £20,000 so my bill is less than I used to pay as a housing association tenant and certainly much, much less than a private let. There's no way I could sell though, one in our block as I said has been up for ages and it's in better condition than mine (newer kitchen, bathroom etc).