Marriage over - need help

alwaysonthego_2

Also contact Women's aid who will be able to inform you of the different types of injunctions you can take out to get him out of the home.

fabforty

Leila, try not to worry - you have come to the right place. It might be worth posting on the 'marraiges, relationships and family' thread (perhaps one of the moderators can move the thread). I would suggest having a look on that (marriages....) thread anyway - there are a number of posts from women in your position and some very good advice on what to do next. (Have just tried to post a link, but it's not happening). At the very least, you will realise that you are not alone. A few thoughts off the top of my head. Do you have family, friends or anyone who can stay with you over the next few days? Your husbands behaviour is malicious, spiteful and dangerous and it might be helpful to have some support. If you have joint bank accounts you should remove at least 50% of the balance - do it online today if you can. If he has access to accounts which are in your name, e,g, your pin number, to debit card, credit cards etc, you should end this immediately - hide your cards and anything of value, change pins etc. You are still on maternity leave, so don't be panic and don't be pushed into doing anything rash - there is time for you to sort everything out properly. I am pretty sure that he can be forced to leave the home, but you should take legal advice first. A friend of mine had a lot of help from an organisation call Rights of Women (google it). They were able to point her in the right direction when her partner walked out, taking everything of value with him. It's a crappy situation to find yourself (and your kids) in, but you will get through it.

gizmo111

I was in a similar situation a few years and beleive me it is not going to be easy to get him out. Difference is he has actually assaulted your son, call the police and they will bail him to a different address so your immediate problem of sharing with him will be gone. The police will contact social services about this, so expect a visit but provided you don't allow him to rturn to the home and there are no other concerns it is unlikely to be taken further as you will by default of getting him out be protecting your son. and prioritising his needs.

Regards the flat this is a short marriage and the courts will look to put you back in the position you were in before you married so he will have no claim on your flat or equity - although he will try.:mad:

Get yoursel a good solicitor to start the divorce and do it befor you return to work, so you get the maximum free time available.

Claim as a single parent from tomorrow, even if you are living in the same house. Check www.entitledto.co.uk to see what you may be able to claim. Don't plan to rush back to work in a panic, think it through and work out the finances, do not be ashamed of living solely off benefits whilst this is sorted.

This website is a really good source of information and support www.ondivorce.co.uk

Most of all look after yourself and your kids and take and help and support that is offered by freinds and family, don't feel ashamed and don't let him bully you into letting him back or paying hims off. It will be really difficult for you for quite a while, but keep the knowledge that you are doing the right thing for your children and the best for your son, who will be very proud of you in years to come for supporting him through this, and will grow up into a fine young man who will make some lovely girl a great partner.

C.C.L.

So sorry to hear of your problems. There's a brilliant nationwide service for for women and children suffering emotional/physical abuse, they sort everything out for you, pick you up to take you to legal appointments, in fact anything to help your situation. I'm no good at doing links, but if you google behind closed doors/domestic violence it will take you to a site covering your area. You need to be rid of this lowlife, and good luck, I wish you all the best, and hope you have a happy life without any stress.

Valli

You can see a solictitor (England and Wales) for half an hour for free - ask for a free half hour initial consultation.

You can do this at more than one solicitors, which is a really useful thing to do as it enables you to find a solicitor with whom you can work, OP.

have your questions written down. You will probably be entitled to legal aid BUT may have to repay it from a settlement.
You have certainly got cause to petition on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour - just on the walking out of the job front I would have thought.
I have some useful websites - I'll be back with links

BTW - don't cry at the solicitors - it's too expensive! Your friends will (I hope) provide a shoulder for you)

Just a thought - does your employer offer any help with childcare costs?
URLs

http://www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk/index.php

http://www.resolution.org.uk/

sp1987

I would be calling the police as I would not want anyone capable of hitting my child within a mile of them. If he has slapped you before and has now hit your son it is not a risk worth taking, especially with further children in the house. That will for a start get him out of your flat too. It is all very well being ''fair'' to the ex partner but he did not consider fairness when he raised his hand to a child. The leads cut on the computer/ps3 just shows what a bully he is (could have just taken the fuse out if he were not being spiteful!).

Keep putting your kids first, they deserve it, he certainly does not.

simpywimpy

Physically assualting your son is surely all you need to get him out and keep him out Good luck with it all

Kimitatsu

Hiya LeilaZ

Firstly the posters on here are quite correct if your husbands name is not on the deeds nor the mortgage then you can evict him as you choose. He has no right to reside in your property, in addition you have no need to buy him out as if you went to court then the court will award you a proportion of the house under a mesher order which will run until your youngest has finished full time education. Dependant on the amount of the deposit both of you put in then he may be entitled to very little, but you need to check with a solicitor.

Secondly you can apply to the court for a non molestation order to protect yourself and your children. This can be gained without his permission and without him having to attend court - basically if he hits you or your children again he will be in breach of the order and will be taken into custody.

Benefits - as a parent with children under 12 you need to get a better off calculation from the CAB as it may be that in the immediate future you will be better off on benefits (dont everyone shout at me its about giving the OP the options!) Dependant on how much you earn you will be eligible for Child tax credits definitely which will help pay for the childcare for your children until they reach 15 (older than that if they have a disability), Working tax credits dependant on your income, council tax reduction of 25% as a single adult.

You will also be able to claim maintenance for the children either by private arrangement or via the CSA (in this case that might be best) he will be liable for a flat rate of £5 a week whilst on benefits and 20% of his net imcome whilst in employment.

HTH - take care of yourself.

LeilaZ

Thank you all for the advice.

He has been arrested this evening. I asked him not to come home to talk until my son had been collected by his father, but he quite deliberately turned up early. He tried to provoke both my son and his Dad into a fight and then kicked in the front door when I locked it. When he burst it it smacked my son's Dad in the face bursting his nose.

He has claimed however that he has been told that as we are married he is entitled to half of the equity in the house. As I was entitled to buy the flat under the right to buy I got a big discount on it and I have a relatively small mortgage. So if I was to sell it (obviously not in the current market) there would be equity in it, but not enough to buy somewhere else (something he's never been able to grasp). I'm in Scotland if that makes any difference.

The door has been changed, and therefore the locks, so he will not be able to get in when he is released. According to the policeman he could be charged with criminal damage as my son's Dad bought him the PS3 so husband had no right to touch it, not sure if that was just to frighten him or not.

I have to find a way to sort this now as my son's father (quite rightly) has said that if husband ends up back here he will be taking our son to live with him until it's sorted as he won't have him in danger.

I will manage alone, I done it when son's Dad and I split up and I have a big, supportive family who are fantastic. My 2 babies are with family tonight so that I can try and get to CAB or a lawyer in the morning.

I just don't know where to begin really. Leila.

DUTR

I suggest ignoring nearly all of the advice above , apart from seeking legal direction, if the tables were turned and you was living in the house where only his name was on the mortgage and deeds then they would be telling you differently.
you may find that if he has contributed to the household then he may have some kind of claim.