Daughter pregnant, advise on how to handle her dad

vickyd4v3

I fell pregnant when i was 17, i had my baby when i was eighteen. My parents were supportive all through my pregnancy, we never ever discussed childcare as thought it was my responsibilty to look after the baby 24/7, which it was. My parents never offered to baby sit whilst i was pregnant and my dad was definately not best pleased about the situation. However when my baby was born they couldn't get enough of him they wanted him round all the time. However, my other halves dad didn't hold him until he was about 8 months old, he is now 3 and he loves spending time with him. I just think with Grandads they are not as good with babies, and they shouldn't have to be, they have done their baby bit. But as your daughters baby gets older and i'm sure he will show much more interest when the baby starts responding and talking. I really don't think that you should try and sort child care out and time out for your daughter before the baby is even born.

thorsoak

The one thing I do not see through this thread is where the sperm donar comes into it! As there has been absolutely no mention of a partner or boyfriend of your daughter being supportive or not - that's the only conclusion at which I can arrive!

Please remember that there is a young man (presumably) out there who has impregnated your daughter - if he does not wish to be part of the baby's life that will be his loss - but it is also his responsibility to help provide for this baby!

westcountrymaid_2

carlsberggal wrote: »

She says she wants to start again in 2011 to a uni near to us so she can stay at home. She has spoken at length to uni. We are going back down there next week so she can discuss with her tutor some more. As Lunar Eclipse says, it's not the end of her life, just a different path for now with the option after the baby is born to get back to studying to become the teacher she wants to be.

The best of luck to her, it can be done, my niece was pregnant at 18, dad not involved at all, she's now almost 24, she took her daughter to Uni with her (great nursery facilities), got herself a flat and completed a law degree, she's just managed to get a job in a Solicitors to carry on her career. Her daughter is now in school and is a very bright and happy child.

Frith

Hmmm, I was at university when I got pregnant (although I was 36 weeks pregnant on the day I finished so I didn't have to leave).

I'd have been mortified if I'd found out my mum was organising babysitters on my behalf. When my sons were born, I had no intention of leaving them with ANYONE for the first couple of months.

fernliebee

Might be worth getting in touch with your local surestart centre as most of them run young parent groups for parents under 22. You can usually start going during pregnancy to meet other people who are in the same situation, and also to try and get some advice from the people who run it. Once babies born, sure start are brilliant and offer so much that your DD could take baby to to get them out and about (and out from under your feet in the nicest possible way.)

They may also be able to offer you some good advice on financial implications, practical advice on ways to help without doing too much etc....

Finally Congrats to your DD and you. I think even though it's not planned it will all be fine, with so much support from you it will all come out in the wash.