Daughter pregnant, advise on how to handle her dad

blindmouse

I wonder where the father of the child is and would think his contribution to the child would be more important right now.

carlsberggal

merdoom - thanks.
I wasn't thinking of dictating to him, more of encouraging him to spend time with the baby, not farming the baby out, maybe I didn't get that across well in the post.
I hope she is 'old' ennough to cope, but only time will tell and we will give her all the support we can. She wants to keep it, so that's that.
I too hope DD2 will want her dad to spend time with the baby, so hopefully she will say something.
Boyfriend is on the scene, he will help her I'm sure. But doesn't live near to us.

red_devil

carlsberggal wrote: »

merdoom - thanks.
I wasn't thinking of dictating to him, more of encouraging him to spend time with the baby, not farming the baby out, maybe I didn't get that across well in the post.
I hope she is 'old' ennough to cope, but only time will tell and we will give her all the support we can. She wants to keep it, so that's that.
I too hope DD2 will want her dad to spend time with the baby, so hopefully she will say something.
Boyfriend is on the scene, he will help her I'm sure. But doesn't live near to us.

its depressing!

Poppy9

I'm with others. It's your DD who is going to be the parent to this baby not you and it's for her to sort out childcare/financial support etc. with the father of the baby.

Time for you to butt out which sounds harsh but she has taken the decision to have a baby so needs to learn exactly what that means.

Rikki

I wouldn't have my ex dictating to me when I had to babysit for my daughters child.

Leave her to sort out her own arrangements, I'm sure your parents didn't sort you life out for you when you were newly married and expecting your first child.

macman

I was wondering when someone was going to mention the father of this baby? He appears to be playing a very minor role so far...
It's up to him and the mother to work out the best arrangements, they may be young but they are both adults.

cakeordeath_2

Poppy9 wrote: »

I'm with others. It's your DD who is going to be the parent to this baby not you and it's for her to sort out childcare/financial support etc. with the father of the baby.

Time for you to butt out which sounds harsh but she has taken the decision to have a baby so needs to learn exactly what that means.

I agree. She wants to keep it, well then let her be a parent with everything that entails.

BitterAndTwisted

Like sorting out her own housing to raise her child in?

Mudbath

Your daughter is really lucky having you supporting her through all this. Yes, it's your DD's decision to have the baby but it can only help her having a supportive parent herself. Hopefully your ex will get his head round supporting her too - isn't that something we'd all want to do for our children. Good luck to you all over the coming months and years xx

viktory

LOL, I'll never understand this mentality. I love my children dearly but if my daughter come to me and declared she was pregnant I would help her as much as possible - and that would include finding somewhere to live. It is far too easy for grandparents to 'take over'.

Good luck OP.