Snide remark from a famous shop staff ref Autism

PasturesNew

It's a shame you didn't say to them at the time: "At least if he is autistic he won't grow up thick and have to work in a shop for a job".

But that's just the Aspie coming out in me

Morglin

3_cheeky_princesses wrote: »

I was in a very famous store in London yesterday taking my children to see Father Christmas (they did have a day off school but it is not something we make a habit of )

In front of us in the queue was a younger child about 4 years old who was being naughty for his mum. When he got to the front of the queue the staff there were talking to him and he told them to go away. He then did not want to go in to see Father christmas and started to throw a tantrum so his mum picked him up and in doing this the boy kicked one of the members of staff i am sure my accident.

Anyway when the mum and son had gone thru the door one member of staff turned to the other and said what a naughty boy. He must be Autistic! I was really angry but also uncomfortable as i had my 6 yr old who has Aspergers with me and she wont talk in public when starngers are there but she looked at me as she knows she has Aspergers and is familar with the word Autism (she doesnt know the in's and outs but is aware she reacts to things differently to other children).

I did not want to say anything at the time in front of my child but it has bugged me that the staff would say something like that and in front of other members of the public! Also the attitude that Autistic children are naughty etc...

Should i email the customer services at the store and say something?

This sort of ignorence is quite common - if it's really bugging you, send them a mail suggesting they might like to consider sending their staff on a disability awareness course.;)

Lin

maggied_2

PasturesNew wrote: »

It's a shame you didn't say to them at the time: "At least if he is autistic he won't grow up thick and have to work in a shop for a job".

But that's just the Aspie coming out in me

I'm sorry - the Aspie in you allows you to call shop workers thick?

I'm sure (I hope) you meant this tongue in cheek but think about how this sounds in the context of what the OP is saying.

DX2

Morglin wrote: »

This sort of ignorence is quite common - if it's really bugging you, send them a mail suggesting they might like to consider sending their staff on a disability awareness course.;)

Lin

Would be an awfully long course if you have to take every disability into consideration.

RoxieW

I would complain if they were referring to a disability that my child had in a negative way. Assuming that a child has autism because they are being naughty is negative and offensive to people with autism. It's negative stereotyping and hurtful for the child who has the condition to hear.
I've come across some really rude sale/shop workers recently and it really makes my blood boil! Bar workers are often the worse - they have some misguided sense of power I think. Most recently - I had paid £5 for entrance to a halloween party including 'welcome drink'. When I declined the drink on offer - of vodka, cranberry and tomato BLEURGH I was told 'it's that or nothing' and then ignored.
I also had a checkout girl ask me 'are you having another one' when I went shopping with my couple of week old baby. When I said no she said 'Oh I was just looking at your tummy, thats all.' Gobsmacked is not the word. :mad: :mad: I complained and she was disciplined - I got a gift card out of it but sobbed all the way home.
What ever happened to customer service??

fernliebee

I don't have an autistic child however I have worked in a shop before, and it is definitely not good customer services to make derogatory remarks about customers in front of other customers. I think what the shop worker said was ignorant, why would they presume Autism rather than just pure and simple bad behaviour?

Personally I would tell the shop as I think they would be interested to know of any poor customer services, they most likely will be able to do anything about it, but I think they do need to be made aware of how their employees are talking in front of customers. Also they may give you a free trip to santa or something so MSE

Just because people are ignorant and stupid, it isn't an excuse I think they should still be challenged, though in OP's situation I think it was right to leave it unchallenged as it would have made a drama for DD when it needn't have been. However thats why I think a complaint needs putting in, as you were unable to say your piece at the time, as you were behaving more professionally than the staff member.

Off the subject- How angry would you be if your child threw a tantrum and kicked a shop assistant (or anyone else, accidentally or by mistake!) :0

Indie_Kid

PasturesNew wrote: »

It's a shame you didn't say to them at the time: "At least if he is autistic he won't grow up thick and have to work in a shop for a job".

But that's just the Aspie coming out in me

Talk about insulting - there are many people who are autistic (I apologise if I insult anyone here - this is not my intention) who aren't very bright. And what about those of us who aren't autistic? Are we "thick"?

why would they presume Autism rather than just pure and simple bad behaviour?

This is what I don't get.

fernliebee

Newly_retired wrote: »

I'm afraid you can't protect children from other people's remarks. It could just as easily have been another mum in the queue.
Actually I took it as not being unkind at all - more a case of understanding that some children have difficulties that others don't - even if perhaps misguided.

I don't think anyone is suggesting protecting their child from everything anyone says. It is part of growing up, learning how to deal with hurtful or negative comments in a positive way so they don't hurt you too badly. The issue that I have here, is that it is a member of staff saying it in front of a group of customers, not just saying it and it being overheard by one customer. It is ignorant, and very unprofessional and I would definitely complain.

If it were another mum there would be no cause for complaint, people who are shopping in a shop can think what they want, and would get away with saying most things, however when you work somewhere you agree to a certain extent, to be a 'face' of the company, and as such you adopt their policies and procedures into your behaviour. I don't mean not to be yourself, but you have to watch what you say, and where you say it, if they had whispered it and been overheard then again, it would have been a mistake but not as bad IMO. The issue I have mainly, is that this member of staff saw nothing wrong with making this comment, about another customer, in front of a group of customers. Basic customer service training, and common sense suggests, they should probably just keep their trap shut until they're in the staff room later or whatever.

red_devil

The thing is you have to brush things off so im told not hang on to every last word people say!

I posted something once where i went into a charity shop a once in a blue moon visit, and felt abit put out by a remark at the till. I was told to let it go as you cant please everyone all the time!

The other thing is when you challenge people they always have an answer its human nature.

The best thing i think is to make a mental not to go in the shop again.

3_cheeky_princesses

fernliebee wrote: »

I don't have an autistic child however I have worked in a shop before, and it is definitely not good customer services to make derogatory remarks about customers in front of other customers. I think what the shop worker said was ignorant, why would they presume Autism rather than just pure and simple bad behaviour? - EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT

Personally I would tell the shop as I think they would be interested to know of any poor customer services, they most likely will be able to do anything about it, but I think they do need to be made aware of how their employees are talking in front of customers. Also they may give you a free trip to santa or something so MSE

Just because people are ignorant and stupid, it isn't an excuse I think they should still be challenged, though in OP's situation I think it was right to leave it unchallenged as it would have made a drama for DD when it needn't have been. However thats why I think a complaint needs putting in, as you were unable to say your piece at the time, as you were behaving more professionally than the staff member.

Off the subject- How angry would you be if your child threw a tantrum and kicked a shop assistant (or anyone else, accidentally or by mistake!) :0

The child had played up all thru the queue which was about half hour and had been kicking and hitting his mother and other stuff. He hit her so she hit him on the back and said "dont hit me" :rolleyes: She had smacked him several times but i think that just proves smacking doesnt work!

Thank you all for your opinions, experiences and advice. I think i will contact the store. I really appreciate all your help and a lot of you have echo'd my thoughts and feelings :grouphug: