Snide remark from a famous shop staff ref Autism

Ruby_Moon

3_cheeky_princesses wrote: »

No it wasnt the one who was kicked who made the "Autistic" remark it was the other Sales Assistant. The one who was kicked actually didnt even reply to the SA who made the remark. Neither knew the child as they asked his name and where he came from etc etc the sort of banter they do when your standing in the queue.

Good grief woman! It does not matter. You know the in's and out's of a cats backside! Did you get the colour of the shoes and how many tattoos they eact had too?
Get over it. It was a non-incident.

3_cheeky_princesses

Ruby_Moon wrote: »

OP really, you are being really oversensitive.
Firstly, the comment wasn't made to you or about you or anyone to do with you.
Secondly, the more you make incidents like this into 'upsetting and insensitive' dramas then you risk your daughter picking up bad vibes. It isn't going to help anyone at all.
The best thing you could have do is to completely ignore it. If there is nothing to fuss about your daughter would not give it a second thought.

I know i am oversensitive to this. I appreciate that hence why i asked you peeps on here should i say anything to the store after i had sleeped on it rather then making a issue of it in the heat of the moment yesterday.

The thing i will put you right with is tho i did NOT and have not made a fuss or a drama about it at all At the store as i said in my previous posts i didnt said a word to the Sales assistants and went thru to Santa with my children as if nothing has happened. You know nothing about my daughter or her condition so you cannot comment on if my daughter would or wouldnt give it a second thought. Yes she would as she has major social problems and is very sensitive to certain things.

3_cheeky_princesses

Ruby_Moon wrote: »

Good grief woman! It does not matter. You know the in's and out's of a cats backside! Did you get the colour of the shoes and how many tattoos they eact had too?
Get over it. It was a non-incident.

:rotfl: If your not bothered then go away! You said your bit so move on. You seem more heated over this then me :rolleyes: I calmly asked peoples opinion which i have taken on board and will move on from this incident. I only corrected you as to what person made the remark thats all :rotfl:

Pete*G_4

3_cheeky_princesses wrote: »

Thank you all. It must just be me feeling really sensitive by the comment It just made us feel extremly uncomfortable due to our 6 yr old who is Autistic. She is actually very well behaved when we are out due to her social problems so luckily we dont have to deal with the tantrums when out just indoors

3_cheeky_princesses wrote: »

Thank you. Someone who has a Aspie child knows how i feel and how insensitive it was for me and my little girl.



I agree i know SA's get a lot of stick and abuse from the public which they shouldnt but i do also feel you shouldnt be so rude about a customers child or a disability in front of other customer if at all.



There was no way i was going to deal with it just as i was taking my children into Santas grotto and making more of a deal of it in front of my 6 yr old autistic child. I understand Autistic children well and like any other child they are all different and all act differently so appreciate the SA may well have knowledge or know someone with Autism BUT i dont feel they should of commented on a customers child in front of other customers. In the staff room maybe or at home but not in front of public. This is a famous Store begining with H in London and i just feel their staff should be conducting theirselves a bit better to be honest

I'm with you in all honesty 3_c_p. I have two younger brothers with Aut Spec Dis, and as a second income I am a part-time respite carer for another younger chap with Asp.

Whether the store assistant was ignorant or knowledgeable about ASD/AS makes no odds. Its plain rudeness and discriminatory. If it'd been a "throw-away comment" (as suggested in here) about someone in a wheelchair being a 'cripple' for running over someones toes, then there'd be all hell to pay.

write in, complain in store, and threaten to go to the local press with details about how their staff treat those with disability. it's the least that should happen. certainly if I was discriminatory towards a customer with spec needs at work (even indirectly) and they complained, I'd be for the highjump. suspension pending investigations, and probable dismissal.

at the very least, the company should be made aware that their staff require extra training, even if you deliberately don't give them sufficient info to hang that particular member of staff out to dry.

Pete*G_4

Ruby_Moon wrote: »

OP really, you are being really oversensitive.
Firstly, the comment wasn't made to you or about you or anyone to do with you.
Secondly, the more you make incidents like this into 'upsetting and insensitive' dramas then you risk your daughter picking up bad vibes. It isn't going to help anyone at all.
The best thing you could have do is to completely ignore it. If there is nothing to fuss about your daughter would not give it a second thought.

an ignorant comment from someone who clearly has minimal experience with children who have problems on the Autistic Spectrum, or who have Asperger's.

I don't mean for that to come across as rude, it's just that as someone who has considerable experience with ASD/AS (19 years living with it on a day-to-day basis in actual fact) I understand completely that they DO pick up on what's said, even if it's not said directly to them.

Once you've been in the heartbreaking situation of having an 11 year old boy ask if he is "normal" because he's not going to the same high school as his friends (he had a mainstream primary school education, albeit in a school of 35 kids and where the headmistress lived three doors down from us so knew him), then perhaps you can claim to know what they take in and understand, and what they don't.

nottslass_2

Hi,I'm sure the OP has encountered many ignorant assumptions re her DD's condition,naturally making her more sensitive/ defence to remarks that have been made.

But on the other hand,I can imagine how hurtful & frustrating it must be for parents of an Autistic( or other condition such as ADHD) child to be labelled "naughty" or to have Shop assistants muttering under their breath " I blame the parents" when their Child is displaying behaviour that is part of their condition !!

Surely its better that society has more understanding ( even if it was misguided) thus making allowances for those living with conditions that can sometimes be challenging .
IMO it would be alot more offensive if the Sales assistant had dismissed the child as a " brat" who shouldn't be allowed out in public if their parents can't keep them under control (whilst asking them to leave the store)!Can you imagine if the parents had of said "sorry ,he is not naughty,he's Autistic & communicating the only way he can"

Newly_retired

I'm afraid you can't protect children from other people's remarks. It could just as easily have been another mum in the queue.
Actually I took it as not being unkind at all - more a case of understanding that some children have difficulties that others don't - even if perhaps misguided.

Pete*G_4

Saying a complete stranger's child is autistic just because they are having a tantrum isn't "having more understanding", it just means they've heard the term used and are completely ignorant about what it means.

I'll repeat again my example about if it was a physical disability.

if your child had an injury that caused them to be in a wheelchair, would you not take offence to someone calling them a cripple/similar?

Newly_retired

No.
We cannot know what was in the SA's mind.
We all have to hear things we would rather not hear.
We all have to try to be less judgmental and more tolerant. If that means being less sensitive, so be it.

Errata

Perhaps the important point is that although the assistant didn't choose their words very carefully, they also didn't make a song and dance about being kicked.