Snide remark from a famous shop staff ref Autism

gill_81uk

I don't think you can compare it to calling someone 'a cripple' as that is an insulting terminology for someone with a physical disability. Saying that someone is 'autistic' is not, it is how medical professionals will refer to a person who has autism.

superdood

I think you should definitely mention this incident to the store in question, even if it doesn't really achieve much, at least you will get it off your chest and you'll feel better for the fact that you've brought the issue to their attention. I personally think it was beyond rude to make these comments, whether or not it was said in front of an audience. Attitudes need to change and the only way to do that is to take action. I don't think you are over sensitive, probably more sensitive than the average joe because of your situation with your daughter, but I don't think it's too pc to be offended by those thoughtless comments, so don't worry about that. Somebody has to stand up for those that are unable to stand up for themselves, I think you deserve a pat on the back for that. From what I understand of what you have said though I don'tthink it was anything said out of spite, just out of ignorance, but all the same I think it should be addressed.

Pete*G_4

Newly_retired wrote: »

No.
We cannot know what was in the SA's mind.
We all have to hear things we would rather not hear.
We all have to try to be less judgmental and more tolerant. If that means being less sensitive, so be it.

We cannot know what is in a racist's mind when they spot bigotted and racist remarks, but do we tolerate them? no.

Being more tolerant doesn't come into it, or if it does then it's the SA that needs to be more tolerant - and not comment at all.

Errata wrote: »

Perhaps the important point is that although the assistant didn't choose their words very carefully, they also didn't make a song and dance about being kicked.

wrong SA

there were two shop assistants, one was kicked and the other made the comment. this makes it even more unexcusable. a flippant comment borne out of frustration at being kicked at least has some kind of justification by way of being reactionary. the fact it wasn't the person kicked means that the SA in question had time to think about what they were saying, yet still said it.

gill_81uk wrote: »

I don't think you can compare it to calling someone 'a cripple' as that is an insulting terminology for someone with a physical disability. Saying that someone is 'autistic' is not, it is how medical professionals will refer to a person who has autism.

however from experience I know full well that a medical professional will NOT call someone autistic unless they are 100% sure that they are. The first of my brothers who have it was initially diagnosed with ASD when he was 2 1/2 years old, yet he wasn't 110% cast-iron statemented until he was nearly 4, as they are incredibly hesitant to stick labels on people.

besides which, I know there's a credit crunch on, but would a qualified medical professional with experience with ASD/AS etc be working on Santa's Grotto in a dept store?! :rolleyes:

gill_81uk

Pete*G wrote: »

besides which, I know there's a credit crunch on, but would a qualified medical professional with experience with ASD/AS etc be working on Santa's Grotto in a dept store?! :rolleyes:

ofcourse not, and in no way did I imply they would be. I was merely making the point that 'cripple' is a recognised insult while 'autistic' isn't.

I appreciate that yourself and the OP are incredibly sensitive to the issue regarding your own personal experiences, however it does not appear that the comment was intended unkindly or as an insult. It was purely a stupid comment from a Sales Assistant who probably should have know better, and to be fair who hasn't found themself in that position and wished they'd kept their mouth shut?!

I am a retail manager and work on the front lines with Sales Assistants who I have had to speak to about comments they shouldn't have made. 9 times out of 10 the Sales Assistant will have realised that they shouldn't have said it, and will be full of remorse, but unfortunately you can't take it back. It will always be dealt with and it will be made clear that it is unprofessional and sometimes offensive, but at the end of the day they aren't robots and will sometimes say things that they shouldn't.

Newly_retired

Even "compliments" can actually seem offensive to some people, if they want to take them that way.

Pete*G_4

gill_81uk wrote: »

ofcourse not, and in no way did I imply they would be. I was merely making the point that 'cripple' is a recognised insult while 'autistic' isn't.

I appreciate that yourself and the OP are incredibly sensitive to the issue regarding your own personal experiences, however it does not appear that the comment was intended unkindly or as an insult. It was purely a stupid comment from a Sales Assistant who probably should have know better, and to be fair who hasn't found themself in that position and wished they'd kept their mouth shut?!

I am a retail manager and work on the front lines with Sales Assistants who I have had to speak to about comments they shouldn't have made. 9 times out of 10 the Sales Assistant will have realised that they shouldn't have said it, and will be full of remorse, but unfortunately you can't take it back. It will always be dealt with and it will be made clear that it is unprofessional and sometimes offensive, but at the end of the day they aren't robots and will sometimes say things that they shouldn't.

I see what you're saying, and as I mentioned above I wouldn't go giving the company any info that could lead to them disciplining the employee in question. I am merely backing up the OP who has been accused on this thread of being "over sensitive" on the issue. Everyone has a right to be sensitive to certain subjects - it shows we all have emotions and "aren't robots". HOWEVER, anyone in a customer-facing role should know better than to make comments like that, however misjudged and/or innocent they were.

my advice was to contact the company and state what happened, to let the company know that there are obviously members of staff who need a bit more training.

Where I work, we have GSS (Guest Satisfaction Survey) forms which customers/clients are encouraged to fill in, in order that we can address any issues that arise. Without issues being flagged up, things never change for the better.

alm721

I would also report the incident. It is absoloutly not acceptable to make comments about members of the public in front of other members of the public when you are working. If the SA had for example suggested something had happened because someone was fat/physically disabled/ugly etc in front of other people would that be acceptable? It just is not on. You are not being oversensitive I have an Autisitc brother and tbh if it were me I would most likely have said somthing at the time and probably gone over the top as it would have really bothered me. I think in the circumstances you were very restrained.

flippin36

As someone with a (severely) autistic son who has "challenges"...I have learnt to forgive people's ignorance to his condition. And to be fair, I had no idea what autism was until I had to live with it on a daily basis. People are ignorant and use words they don't understand. It hurts but we have to forgive. Thats the only way.:)

Savvy_Sue

3_cheeky_princesses wrote: »

I dont want to complain for sake of it but just feel the staff should be a bit more educated and not comment on customers in front of the public / other customers!

Exactly.

Loz01 wrote: »

Its a bit bad to say it out loud in front of customers - when Im at work Im aware that Im representing the shop, you cant shout your mouth off everywhere, not very professional!

Precisely.

Yes, I would email or telephone and suggest that the store needs to improve its staff training. What they say when out of the public eye is up to them, but in front of other customers they need to be more professional!

Ruby_Moon

Newly_retired wrote: »

I'm afraid you can't protect children from other people's remarks. It could just as easily have been another mum in the queue.
Actually I took it as not being unkind at all - more a case of understanding that some children have difficulties that others don't - even if perhaps misguided.

Exactly. That was what I was saying.