Snide remark from a famous shop staff ref Autism

3_cheeky_princesses

I was in a very famous store in London yesterday taking my children to see Father Christmas (they did have a day off school but it is not something we make a habit of )

In front of us in the queue was a younger child about 4 years old who was being naughty for his mum. When he got to the front of the queue the staff there were talking to him and he told them to go away. He then did not want to go in to see Father christmas and started to throw a tantrum so his mum picked him up and in doing this the boy kicked one of the members of staff i am sure my accident.

Anyway when the mum and son had gone thru the door one member of staff turned to the other and said what a naughty boy. He must be Autistic! I was really angry but also uncomfortable as i had my 6 yr old who has Aspergers with me and she wont talk in public when starngers are there but she looked at me as she knows she has Aspergers and is familar with the word Autism (she doesnt know the in's and outs but is aware she reacts to things differently to other children).

I did not want to say anything at the time in front of my child but it has bugged me that the staff would say something like that and in front of other members of the public! Also the attitude that Autistic children are naughty etc...

Should i email the customer services at the store and say something?

red_devil

no i wouldnt bother. You cant please everybody all the time with what you say!

zzzLazyDaisy

Yes. Those staff are the face that the customers see, and they represent the store. The remark was probably made out of ignorance and with no intention to offend (well, I hope so anyway) but that's not the point - it did offend you, and made an impressionable and sensitive little girl feel uncomfortable. It is up to the store to ensure that their staff are properly trained, and unless they are aware that there is a problem, they can't address it.

They need to be even more careful nowadays, owing to a recent development in disability discrimination law, which now gives the right to complain of disability discrimination by association (in other words if a person is treated less favourably, not because of their own disability, but because of another person's disability, they can also complain of discrimination)

And before the 'pc gone mad' brigade get on the band wagon - I don't make the law, I am merely pointing out that stores must ensure that their staff comply with it.

Any

But the child wasn't treated any differently.. According to the OP the staff didn't even react when he/she was kicked...
One person told another person something.. The person was probably just a bit thick.
I am actually quite surprised they were looking for an excuse for that child...

Marcheline

I wouldn't complain either. LazyDaisy, unless I missed something, they didn't treat the little boy any differently though, they just made a passing comment.

3_cheeky_princesses

I dont want to complain for sake of it but just feel the staff should be a bit more educated and not comment on customers in front of the public / other customers!

It did really make my 6 yr old feel uncomfortable and bad as well as myself and my husband. She has big social problems due to the Aspergers so that didnt help really and this boy who was misbehaving likely hasnt even got anything but to assume he has just because he is throwing a temper tantrum i just thought was bad.....

Marcheline

Even if the shop in question trained its staff in this regard, you'll never stop people making throw away comments in the heat of moment. In my opinion, the best thing you could have done was just say to the member of staff "not necessarily, all kids act up now and again." I don't think getting in touch with customer services will achieve anything in the long run.

maggied_2

I think Marcheline is right here - it's impossible to police every thought and comment (now matter how ill thought out).

At least they didn't say (and something I can imagine certain people I know saying)

"what a badly behaving little ****"

Any

3_cheeky_princesses wrote: »

I dont want to complain for sake of it but just feel the staff should be a bit more educated and not comment on customers in front of the public / other customers!

It did really make my 6 yr old feel uncomfortable and bad as well as myself and my husband. She has big social problems due to the Aspergers so that didnt help really and this boy who was misbehaving likely hasnt even got anything but to assume he has just because he is throwing a temper tantrum i just thought was bad.....

I think you need to just put it down to experience. You cannot control people's thougths or mouths in general - it was passing remark, it will happen!!
And your little girl will unfortunately as everyone meet these sort of little problems all her life, so she might as well be ready for it.

3_cheeky_princesses

Thank you all. It must just be me feeling really sensitive by the comment It just made us feel extremly uncomfortable due to our 6 yr old who is Autistic. She is actually very well behaved when we are out due to her social problems so luckily we dont have to deal with the tantrums when out just indoors

zzzLazyDaisy

Marcheline wrote: »

I wouldn't complain either. LazyDaisy, unless I missed something, they didn't treat the little boy any differently though, they just made a passing comment.

Sorry, I think I muddied the waters. I was just pointing out that discrimination law is developing at an alarming rate and new pitfalls are opening up for employers every day.

In my view the store needs to be told because the remark that a badly behaved child must be autistic was a derogatory and sweeping remark, based on a poor understanding of how children on the autism spectrum normally behave. It is the context of the remark which is potentially discriminatory. It is true that the mother of the child to whom the remark was directed didn't hear, or if she did, wasn't offended. But clearly another customer was offended by the remark.

If the store was my client, I would say yes, bring it to the store's attention. NOT because OP has any claim against the store - but because the next time a member of staff makes an offensive and/or discriminatory remark about a customer, the outcome might be different.