Weekly Flylady Thread 23rd November 2009

jinky67

carlsberggal wrote: »

Jinky my love - how are you doing down north? Can you understand us yet? My work colleague was at the same venue as you last night- see I CAN remember some things! LOL

Doing fine missus:T

Of course I can understand you, except the obsession with barm cakes:rotfl:

toottifrootti

since some of you need a giggle ...............

this will appeal to the teachers among us..

The cowboy boots


Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this.

Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her
kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? He asked for
help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him
pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked, and sure enough, they were.
It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the correct feet.

He then announced, "These aren't my boots."

She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?", like she wanted to.

Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off
his little feet.
No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em."

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your Mittens?"

He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."

She will be eligible for parole in three years.

soappie

toottifrootti wrote: »

I agree it would be quicker healed if it was broken - if its sprained or torn ligaments you will be testing it constantly!! thats nice of NN - what a NN she is

NN is wonderful. She's like a Mum to me. And old enough to be mine! I really admire her.She's 73 and still works full time 4 days a week!

soappie

toottifrootti wrote: »

since some of you need a giggle ...............

this will appeal to the teachers among us..

The cowboy boots


Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this.

Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her
kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? He asked for
help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him
pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked, and sure enough, they were.
It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the correct feet.

He then announced, "These aren't my boots."

She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?", like she wanted to.

Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off
his little feet.
No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em."

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your Mittens?"

He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."

She will be eligible for parole in three years.

Love it! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

carlsberggal

Oh Jinky - you disappoint me they are called 'tea cakes' here!!! LOL

pigpen

toottifrootti wrote: »

piggers i take it you are chuffed with your windows then - is there a lot of mess - are you painting in there now? what about a huge mug of tea and a cuddly kittem to soothe you?

I hate PVC windows.. they are a scourge.. but needs must and we need warmth.

Tea is good... kittens are NOT!!!.. Would you like 2? They won't be breeding!

hollyh wrote: »

Why don't you watch crappy DVD's and wrap at the same time.

I'm not that dextrous!

scotrae

Cleaned DSx2s' bedrooms, hoovered every bedroom (that's twice in one week for ours - unheard of!), cleaned bathroom - including gutting & cleaning the three-drawer unit with all the toiletries and carp in. Found a few things I'd forgotten about, including a pretty little nail polish I don't remember using. (Guess who's got sparkly nails this evening!).

The journey continues. On my hitlist for next week in a very big way are two or three of the following: under the bed, the under-stairs hidey hole, 'office', the garage and actually tidying the garden.

toottifrootti

Think before you speak...

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last one is great!

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could

immediately take the words back...

or that you could crawl into a hole?

Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow

and asked loudly,

'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'

I turned around and walked back out and never went back

My husband didn't say a word...

he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.

I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.

After browsing for several minutes,

I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.

Without thinking,

I looked at him and said,

'I think I like playing with

men 's balls .

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and

passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.

I replied,

'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'

My sister started to laugh hysterically.

The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day,

my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust

and annoyance from other patrons.

I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,

'If you don't let me go right now,

I will tell Grandma that I saw you

kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.

Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.

The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?

My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.

One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands

It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco,

I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month- old daughter, she was clean. Then realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.

I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No' I kept thinking

'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.' Then I said,

'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'

'No,' he replied.

I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.

Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident ?This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks

and yelled

'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,

he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.

An old couple made me feel better,

thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days

and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.

What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!

We had a female news anchor that,

the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,

turned to the weatherman and asked:

'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'

Not only did HE have to leave the set,

but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Now, didn't that feel good?

Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh

and remember

we all say things we don't really mean,

so think before you speak!!!

hollyh

Thanks guys he's sleeping now, i'll just keep feeling his head. He's never usually ill so when he is it ususally hits him hard. Ds2's always picking something up from nursery.

Valli

carlsberggal wrote: »

why is it with men that when they do something wrong it's suddenly your fault and your being cold shouldered? x

*cof*
*cof*
~gloats because Valli hasn't GOT one~
*cof*
~has a poorly tho~
*cof*