Disgusted/Hurt please help

onetomany

just sending you a big hug i was going to put maybe it was the drink talking but you said he drove home so i take it he wasnt drinking, hope you get it sorted

pinkshoes

What an awful thing to happen. (((hugs)))

What happened when he came in?
Did you say anything?
Did he say anything?
Has there been any changes in his behaviour in the last couple of months?

I hope you're OK.

x

paddy's_mum

Whether "anything happened" or not is almost immaterial. It is your trust and faith in him that has been dealt a monumental blow .. and even if your husband insists that it was harmless, he will eventually come to realise that what he is hearing may well be a death knell. Staying out - for whatever reason - until the early hours is itself madness.

I'm sorry for your trouble, OP.

foxy-roxy

Susan_Frost wrote: »

Hey, really sorry to hear all this, a real shock. You will be feeling dreadful - please just look after yourself.


However, I guess he was doing a "chat up", but again, it could be him being what I call "safe flirty" in a knowledge that it would not be taken up, not taken seriously. Not an excuse or reason, just, hopefully, he may have got somewhat carried away by it all. Old and daft.


I truly hope you get things sorted, and it ends up ok.

Hugs and good luck with it all.

I agree with this, as i have to put up with this type of behaviour from a colleague of similar age.

paddy's_mum

... safe flirting - until past 2 in the morning?

Zoetoes

Whatever it is, it's upset the OP so it is enough to be a problem.

maggied_2

Hi OP - just seeing what happened last night - did you get the chance to talk about what you heard?

I hope you're ok anyway (((hug)))

C xx

GSXRCarlos

Hi OP, gutted for you.

I hope things work out. I suggest being honest with him, tell him what you heard and that you don't know whether you can trust him.

Ask him what happened and why he was out so late?

whydoesithappen

Thank you all SusanFrost, Pinkshoes, paddy's mum, foxy roxy, jackie b, zoe leigh, poppyolivia, shazrobo, onetoomany, geminilady . . .

You are all the reason I posted on this site for your helpful responses, he came in and could see I was upset, I tried to stay as composed and calm as I could and asked why he was so late in getting home and why I couldn't get through or he didn't let me know he was going to be so late and he said his night over-ran and drinks with colleagues led him to give some people a lift home and his phone died. . .I left it at that last night as I thought I am going to see how this plays out. He didn't mention his phone calling me so I don't think he realised and I never said anything. Neddless to say I didn't sleep most of the night as the conversation he was having with this girl really made me feel as if I didn't recognise or know him.

I know this is going to sound dreadful but I so want to believe him but I am well aware how these things can start, and although the conversation never gave anything specific away, I heard him tell this girl how attractive he found her albeit very subtley. She came across as being quite non-anything, no response regarding what he was saying and it did seem as if she was trying to change the subject politely? The thing is she sounded really nice and I hate to say this but alive and young and 'sparky' something which has been spinning around in my head all day. After over 20 years of marriage that element has waned so no wonder he wanted to spend time with her?

I wish I didn't feel this way, it is horrible hearing your OH and the way he is without you around like a person you barely recognise.

Thanks again all I am going to ask who he was with when he gets in from work today and try to find out more.

jackieb

I think you have the right attitude. You didn't go in with all guns blazing and you're willing to hear him out, but you're obviously understandably worried too.

I really hope i turns out he was just flirting and he sees how upset it's made you. xx

I trust my husband, but have never had the opportunity to eavesdrop on any of his conversations with the opposite sex, so who knows what we all might hear.